' CASSANOVA' Rushworth and a certain
darkeyed beauty sure were doing
some fancy truckin' at Ye Olde Rat
Race one evening lately. Noticed she
was with him at our ship's Christmas
Party too. We must say ' Doc' has
mighty good taste anyhow.
BUCKY Haratyke and ' Texas' Farquhar
reverted to the age old method
of settling personal disputes one day
this week. Bucky lost a skivvie shirt
and we're not sure just what Tex was
missing but he said it broke up his
cold. Nothing like some morning exercise
in the open air, you know!
SHIRLEY Steele's ' one and only' ( the
present one) says Maize, 1st Division,
Swab Master, is a cute little lad. Calls
him " Mitzie" for short.
KU Z, SC3c, Ship's Butcher, has a
great C: eal of trouble sleeping lately.
Dreamed one night that all the chickens
in Long Beach were in his place
of endeavor and when he opened the
door they all flew at him. ' Butch' says
he chased chickens all night and never
caught a one.
MAHL, 1st Division mes cook, ays he
likes vaudeville. He pays 15c to see
a show on the Pike and sleeps during
the movie. Then he wakes up as the
stage show comes on to get his money's
A CUTE trick in Long Beach says she
can outdo ' Bud' Adams, would~ be
Bos'n Mate of the Fo'c's'le Gang, on
most anything. She claims Bud went
to leep in a tavern not long ago and
so she has named him " Pretty Boy"
Adams. Tough luck, Pal.
TOLSON, Gunner's- Mate- to- be of the
armory detail, made a striking picture
cranking yeoman striker Moore's
( Gunnery Office) yellow Pontiac roadster
at Los Angeles and 5th streets in
L. A. not long ago. Christmas traffic
was stopped for three blocks and that
big I . h l'lS cop had completely exhaust-e?
his vocabulary. Better luck next
THE BLUE BO NET
HOW TO lAKE YOUR WIFE RI H
For the married man who cannot get
along without his liquor, here's a suggestion
for freeing the home from
bondage to the saloon and cocktail
Start a bar in your own home. Be
the only customer. You'll have no license
to buy and no overhead to pay.
Give your wife 4 to buy a gallon, re-'
membering the gallon contains 60- odd
drinks. Buy your drinks from no one
but your wife. By the time the first
gallon's gone she'll have $ 6 to put in
the bank and $ 4 to stock up again.
Should you live ten years, continue
to buy from her and then die with
snakes in your boots- she will have
money enough to bury you, educate
the children, buy a house and lot, marry
a decent man, and forget about
An English cub reporter, frllquently
reprimanded for relating
too many details and warned to be
brief, turned in the following:
" A shooting affair ocurred last
night. Sir Dwight Hopeless, ague t
at Lady Panamore's ball, complained
of feeling ill, took a highball,
his hat, his coat, his departure, no
notice of his friends, a taxi, a pistol
from his pocket and finally his
life. Regrets and all that sort of
CHARLEY Chatfield, redheaded speedster
from First Division, seems to be
aboard quite a bit lately. Lo ing your
touch, Charley, or going on leave?
NOTICE our Sail Locker is again in
commi sion. 0' eill, the able Sails
Striker is back from a nice Christmas
leave in Frisco. Wonder what the attraction
SAW ' LOVER' Hart, ~ ou ton champion
gigolo, walking down the Pike alone
last nite. Must be slipping, Harry.
LITTLE OCKO says Start the ew
Year right and may it be a Happy one
for all hands. Watch what you do at
ea and a hore. Little Ocko get
SOMETHI G TO PUZZLE OVER
THE DRUNK AND THE FOOTPAD
A man living in a big city put in a
claim to an insurance company for the
loss of a valuable watch. His story
was that he had been at a New Year's
Eve party which proved so gay that
he decided to go home. He had walked
a block only when a tranger stopped
him and asked him the time. No
sooner had he pulled out his watch to
oblige than the other man seized it,
and jumping into a car at the curb,
made hi get away. Friends corroborated
his story, testifying that he had
been at the party and had left two
minutes befol'e midnight.
The insurance company properlL~ _
refused to pay the claim.
Why was this?
( Answer on page 4.)
A AVY SPLICE
" Wilt thou, Jack, have this woman
as thy wedded wife, to live together
insofar as the Bureau of avigation
will allow? Wilt thou love her, comfort,
honor and keep her, take her to
the movies and come home regularly
to her in the 4: 30 boat?"
" I will."
" Wilt thou, Jane, have this sailor as
thy wedded husband, bearing in mind
liberty hours, boat schedules, watches,
sudden orders, uncertain mail communications,
and all other penalties of
navy life? Wilt thou obey him, love,
honor, and wait for him, press his uniforms
and let him smoke golden grain
in the house?"
" I will."
" I Jack, take thee, Jane as my wedded
wif~ from 4: 30 p. m. until 7: 30 a. m.
as far as permitted by my Commanding
Officer, liberty subject to change
without notice, for better for worse,
for earlier, for later, and I promise to
send thee a weekly letter when on the
" I Jane, take thee, Jack, as my wedded
husband, subject to the whims of
the officer of the deck, changing residence
whenever the ship moves, to
have and to hold as long as my allotment
comes regularly, and therefore
I give my troth."
A wild turkey was clocked in flight
at about 55 miles an hour for OVer a
distance of a mile.