Page 4 THE BLUE BONNET U. S. S. Houston- 1l- 6- 37- 900.
Her: " I'm ~ rfect."
Him: " I'm practice!"
* * * *
John Paul Jones,
United States naval
hero, was not
an American citizen,
did not command
a fleet of
American ship s,
and his name is not Jones. Very little
is known of his early life or of the
exact time and circumstance of his
arrival in this country. It is known,
however, that he was a poor boy of
Scotland, and that some time after
his arrival in this country he became
the protege of Wylie Jones, of Halifax
County, North Carolina. It was
through the efforts and influence of
Mr. Jones that John Paul ( that was
his name) was appointed an officer in
the American Navy. With the consent
of his patron and benefactor, who
made possible his great naval career
and thus gave him to the cause of
Routine drills on board ship sometimes
become rather dull and uninteresting
and occasionally someone is
heard to ask: " Why so much drill, we
all know what we are supposed to do
and where we are supposed to go. So
why keep on drilling us?" The following
story may give these men the answer
to their query:
When the U. S. S. CASSIN was torpedoed
off the south coast of Ireland,
October 15, 1917, every man in the
after compartment was stunned and
temporarily blinded, one man's legs
were shattered to splinters; yet every
man escaped; and what is more remarkable,
they left all doors and
hatches closed and properly dogged
behind them. Not a man recalled hav
ing done a single thing.
Satan ( to new arrival): " You act as
though you owned the place."
New Arrival: " Oh I do, my wife
gave it to me several times."
WOE IS MAN
Man IS of few days and full of trou-'
ble. He laboreth all the days of his
youth to pay for a gasoline charriot,
and when at last the task is finished,
lo! the thing is junk and he needeth
another. He planteth cotton in the
earth and tilleth it diligently- he and
servants and his asses, and when the
harvest is gathered into the barns he
oweth the landlord $ 8.40 more than
the crop is worth. He borroweth money
from the lenders to buy pork and
syrup and gasoline, and the interest
eatheth up all that he hath. He begets
sons and educateth them to smoke cigarettes
and wear a white colar, and
lot they have soft hands and neither
labor in the fields nor anywhere undel'
the sun. The children of his loins are
onery, and one of them becometh a
lawyer and another sticketh up a filling
station and maketh whoopee with
the substance thereof. The wife of his
bosom necketh with a stranger, and
when he rebukes her lo! she shooteth
him in the vitals. He goeth forth in
the morning on the road that leadeth
to the city, and a jitney smiteth him
so that his ribs project through his epidermis.
He drinketh a drink of whoopee
juice to forget his sorrows, and it
burneth the lining from his liver. All
the days of his life he findeth no parking
place and is tormented by traffic
cops from his going forth until he
cometh back. An enemy stealeth his
car; physicians remove his inner parts
and his teeth and his bank roll; his
daughters showeth their legs to strangel'S;
his arteries hardeneth in the
evening of life, and his heart busteth
trying to keep the pace. Sorrow and
bill collectors followeth him all the
days of his life, and when he is gathered
to his fathers the neighbors sayeth:
How much did he leave? Lo! he
hath left it all. And his widow rejoiceth
in a new coupe and maketh eyes
at a young shiek that slicketh his hair
and playeth a nifty game of bridge.
Woe is man! From the day of his birth
to the time when earth knoweth him
no more, he laboreth for bread and
catcheth the devil. Dust he was in the
beginning and his name is mud.
Baby ear of corn: " Mamma, where
did I come from?"
Mamma ear of corn: " Hush, dear,
the stalk brought you."
brethren right from tha start. And
one could see how tickled they was
when I'd bring down a half dozen of
their wild folk with a couple 0' blasts.
They would sorta skitter over tha
water in a kind 0' joyous dance they
was so glad.
" And smart-- those educated decoys
allus went under water to stay until
they heard tha second blast from my
double barrel. Then they would come
up with grins on their bills."
Old Hank allus commenced a cryin'
at this point in his story. Finally after
masterin' some 0' tha emotion in his
voice he would continue. " And one
day . . . one day I let both barrels
go off accidentally. Those poor decoys
never had a chance. Rememberin' their
trainin' they stayed down so long a
waitin' for tha second sh01l they
Hank wouldn't be himself after this
until tha jag wore off. Seein' is believin',
says 1. A body's got to set his
brain machinery in motion afore he
starts feedin' a new story into his
noggin' or he'll be so cluttered up with
chaff he won't be turnin' out good stuff
GUS'S WEEKLY LETTER
( Continued from Page 2.)
" Stinky" " B. B." Rice has been carrying
a grin all week. His recent
cruise to L. A. must have been successful.
How's about it, " Elmo"?
The " V" Division is boasting of a
third mech. on No. 15. Congratulations,
Martin is to be transferred to the
East Coast to enter the metalsmith
school. I wonder who he will tell his
secrets to now.
Andy Mellon has become a confirmed
G. G. since his recent marriage in