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16 MONTROSE VOICE/APRIL 10, 1987
Americans Make a Deal With an Apology
Commentary by Anne Saker
WASHINGTON (UPI)—Americans
find apology the most difficult of communication because making excuses is
the second most important feature of
capitalism and forgiveness is not an
American trait.
In business, in politics, even in
religion—as the current jihad among
televangelists demonstrates —
apologies become currency, barter for a
better deal: I'll say I'm sorry if you
promise 1) not to sue; 2) to vote for me; 3)
to keep sending those love offerings.
The nation has been enured to the
deal-making and because apologies are
so expensive, Americans usually will
forgo them because they don't want to
pay the price, even for the satisfaction
of hearing somebody say, "I'm sorry."
The Pilgrims, full of divine fire,
landed on the New World's rocky shores
utterly certain of their Providential
deed of trust. Such absolute purpose was
born from the belief that Old World was
warring, oppressive and bloody because
it was constantly apologizing to heaven
for its morass of human frailty and suffering.
The American nation, however, was
founded on the tenet that believers
could have a wholly correct and
unerring contract with God—a belief
that has not changed radically in tenor
since William Bradford wrote to his
spiritual cousins in Europe that deliverance was available very nearly as
simply as arriving in the New World.
Apologies were unnecessary when
godly people were carving out a city on a
hill from a untractable wilderness. That
article of faith got the Pilgrims through
hellish winters, and though by time
alone made slightly more complex, that
belief rules American life now.
A magazine cover story recently
wailed at the decline and fall of can-do
American service. A cheery smile or a
cordial offer of help costs extra as service submits to the service industry.
A plane is a hour late for takeoff
because a rear door cannot be closed. No
one says, "Sorry for the delay, folks."
Instead, the pilot blames FAA regulations, which apparently require that all
airplane doors be closed while in flight.
Politically, apologies force reassessment of motivations and goals, something to be fervently avoided. Those
who wait, candle in window, to hear
from Nixon or Reagan in this regard
keep a lonely vigil. As a signal demonstration of American political weakness, an apology is tops. Say anything
else communism had to be stopped,
future presidents needed protection,
mistakes were made but for an American politician, apologies are anathema.
The squabbling among the television
preachers offers the most intriguing
current study of apologies. The Rev. Jim
Bakker's confession of infidelity
seemed at first a bracing display of
humility from a person who makes a
fine living telling people to make right
with God.
Only a few days passed before his act
of contrition took on the unappealing
taint, in the current argot, ofthe "poison
pill"—an action to fend off a hostile
takeover.
To extend the metaphor, the Rev.
Jerry Falwell rode in as Bakker's "white
knight" to save the PTL Club, adding a
delicious little twist for those who have
watched Falwell's career with perverse
fascination.
In America, apologies are a means to
a foreseeable and attainable end, as
much of the fabric of commerce and
politics as money. Forgiveness, as a
result, is drawn into the exchange as a
matter of trade. Simply saying "I'm
sorry" with no strings attached is a singular act of humanity, a gift from one
spirit to another and, apparently,
becoming rarer by the day.
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