HOUSTON VOICE www.houstonvoice.com
MAY 26, 2006 19
YOU ARE CUTE, GOOD IN THE SACK
and in great financial and physical shape,
but if it weren't for me, your car would
never get a tune up, your home would
look like a warehouse and that hot guy
would never have sex with you. When are
you going to grow up?
TO THE GUY WHO HATES STRAIGHT
love in the gay ghetto: You aren't a bad
person, just stupid. Last time I checked,
we are fighting for our love to be recognized everywhere. Equal is equal, and
nothing less is acceptable.
AVERAGE GUYS DON'T THINK YOU'RE
superficial for being good looking. We figure that out after you open your conceited
mouth and "shoot people down."
HIPPIES, WAKE UP! MUSLIMS HATE
us, the pope hates us, straight people only
treat us like lapdogs. We need our own
country! I'd fight for my freedoms, raise a
kid with my boyfriend and pay taxes for
schools for the lesbian neighbor's kids.
How about you?
Bitch Boy responds: Yeah because those
hippies just aren't practical.
TO THE GUY LOOKING FOR A
'financially fit gay man willing to pay the
bills without it being a sugar daddy deal":
Apparently you never learned that
nothing in life is free.
I'VE BEEN WORKING OUT FOR HALF
my life and changed my body from skinny
kid to well-built man. And yet invariably
some fat guy claims I only did it with
steroids. If I had been on steroids, I would
have knocked you on your rude ass!
TO THE GUY WHO SAYS THERE
aren't Asian tops and they're al] effeminate: My partner of two years is Asian
Am I the only guy in my 40s
who likes guys my own age?
Come on, men, act your age
and let the kids enjoy their
youth while it lasts.
and a total top. Oh and he's quite masculine as well, and well endowed. So much
TO THE GUY WHO THINKS ALL
Asians are effeminate bottoms: racist much?
FACE IT, IF AVERAGE GUYS DIDN'T
hit on you so-called great looking guys, you
would all get cramps from constantly flexing in the bars. We're doing you a favor.
Bitch Boy responds: Further proof that
bitter isn't pretty, it's average-looking.
YOU MAY HAVE AVERAGE LOOKS,
build and endowment, but if you're a
decent person and doing something productive with your life, then you're one of
the true hotties.
TO THE GUY WHO CLAIMED IF OLDER
guys in their 60s and 70s had been more
out and visible, they "wouldn't still be in
the bars today": When they were your age,
that was not an option. It's a lot easier for
gays to be out today — back then it was
close to impossible!
TO THE GUY WHO'LL GIVE GEORGE W
a b.j.: Save it, honey, he doesn't need to be
caught and disgraced, he's already doing a
fine job of that himself.
EVERYONE LOOKS BETTER AFTER
a few drinks, worse the next morning, and way
ugly after a bad relationship But if you go for
the heart, everything looks beautiful thereafter
I'M BITCHING ABOUT MYSELF.
because when I called him by one name, it
turned out it was the wrong name. No second date for me.
TO THE GUY WHO WROTE ABOUT
having gay movies with stuff blowing up:
Amen! Forget these lame straight action flicks
and let's make "The Fast & the Fabulous!"
"COMPLICATED" SEEMS TO BE THE
new buzz word that self-absorbed drama
queens are using to describe their lives.
JUST BECAUSE BUTCHES AREN'T
in a skirt doesn't mean we don't want to
be kissed all over and held and told we
look good, too.
TO THE BITCH ABOUT "TRIMMED
eyebrows": If I wanted to date a woman, I wouldn't be gay Let the breeders trim their hair I like
my men to have some semblance of masculinity
Edftors' note: These are real bitches, sent in by real readers,
about gay life's little annoyances, and the big ones, tea
Got a bitch-
or e-mail: bitetr@houstaivoicexoni
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