14 MONTROSE VOICE/FEBRUARY 27. 1987
By Mark Orion
Your Horoscope Irom the Voice
For Friday evening. Feb. 27. through Friday
morning, March 5. 1987:
ARIES—That lovelight shining in your
eyes could be reflected right back by
someone younger. Stay open to possibilities, but don't make any promises. This is
a time of strong, but transient feelings.
TAURUS—First you want one thing,
then another. First a friend, then a lover.
You can't quite make up your mind. Perhaps you're too analytical in an area
where analysis has little value. You know
what we mean: matters of the heart?
Looking for the Last Honest Man
The Innocent Bystander
By Arthur Hoppe
I was staring moodily at the typewriter
when the door opened and an elderly
bearded gentleman in a white robe
"You don't happen to be a muse, do
you?" I asked hopefully.
"No, my name's
Diogenes," he said,
holding up a lantern
as he peered around,
"and I'm looking for
an honest man."
"And I'm looking
for a column idea," I
said. "What I need is
a pithy chunk of
eternal wisdom that
captures the essence
of humanity and the meaning of life.
But it isn't easy day after day."
"You should try finding an honest
man," he said with a weary sigh as he
took a seat and rubbed his bare feet.
"It's getting harder with every passing
"What brings you here?" I asked.
"I'm on my way to Pago Pago," he
said. "An honest man was reported seen
there as recently as last Shrove Tuesday. I shouldn't have wasted so much
Seek a date, an adventure.
Send a message for all to
see to someone you love
TO PLACE A -PERSONAL' IN THE
NEWSPAPER Of MONTROSE,
time in Washington,"
"You went to Washington?"
"It's the center of the free world, the
capital of history's greatest democracy
and the heart of a nation that believes in
truth, justice and honor," he said.
"That's absolutely true," I said.
"When I arrived at the White House,
there was a handsome, clean-cut
Marine Corps colonel just coming out. I
couldn't help but ask him if he was an
honest man. Do you know what he
I took a guess: '"I refuse to answer on
the grounds that anything I say may
tend to incriminate or degrade me'?"
Diogenes looked surprised. "How did
you know?" he said. "So I told the guard
at the gate that I wanted to take my
search for an honest man from the littlest child in the land all the way up to the
president ofthe United States. He tried
to have me arrested as some kind of nut.
That's when I went to New York."
"New York?" I said. "You didn't visit
"Where else could I find the pillars of
the financial community and the leaders of the free enterprise system that
made this country great?" he said. "Did
you know that if Glutco merges with
Consolidated Hams, Bismol Southern
Al's Insurance Service
Houston, Texas 77004
LOW DOWN PAYMENTS
will be selling for 46 times earnings?"
"Hush," I said nervously, "you could
"You don't want any insider information?" he asked.
"I don't have any stocks or any
money," I said.
"What about a top job in the White
House running guns to terrorists or
covertly funding revolutionaries?"
"I've got enough troubles already," I
He eyed me speculatively. "I may not
have to go to Pago Pago after all," he
said, shaking my hand. "I've always
believed that honesty pays—as long as
cheating won't get you anywhere. And
you, sir, have the makings of an honest
"Hey!" I said. "That's a great epigram: 'Honesty Pays—as long as cheating won't get you anywhere.'I can make
a whole column out of that."
Diogenes looked pleased. "And you'll
give me full credit?" he asked,
"Not," I said turning to my typewriter, "unless you can beat me into print."
He gave forth another sigh even wearier than the first. "Well," he said, "on to
' 1987 (S F ) Chronicle Publishing Co
GEMINI—Give serious thought to any
sudden moves. The urge to change
homes, lovers or jobs is strong. Have a
party instead. An unusual assortment of
friends or a strange combination of people may help find some answers.
CANCER—Those new beginnings that
were getting under way recently are
causing some unexpected changes in the
way others see you. A feeling of confidence, surety, and down-right sexiness
could make some of your dreams come
LEO—You are ambitious, aren't you?
Join that ambition to a powerful creative
urge, and the sky's the limit. Travel could
be a part of this high-powered picture. Be
sure to take you lover along!
VIRGO—Do it at home! Whether it's
homework, housework, or home-style
cooking, what you do there will turn out
right. In the outside world, things are a bit
strange. It's a jungle out there! Be a
LIBRA—Friendship brings love and
love brings friendship, and this time the
line between the two is blurred. It's bound
to bring about some serious thinking
concerning who do you know, and how
well, and what for?
SCORPIO—Take it to the limit! There's
a strong desire to touch the heights and
depths, to experience the limits of what's
going on. With an understanding partner
who knows your needs for extremes, this
could be a time to remember.
feeling so close to the love of your life,
and at the same time you're tempted to
flirt with strangers. Talking to a friend
could help resolve some of your conflict.
long-term plans. This isyourchiefareaof
concern this time. The future starts now.
You can take some interesting chances
without going for broke. Money isn't
everything, but you know how much it
AQUARIUS—A sudden change in
career goals or a giant boost in your present one is what goes on this time. Someone who loves you for all the right
reasons helps. Being in the right place at
the right times couldn't hurt, either.
PISCES—Confusion hasn't totally vanished, but in dealing with it, you've been
learning who your friends are. That's
both new ones and old ones. As the air
clears, that stranger isn't nearly as
■ I9B7 MONTROSE VOICE