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Houston Voice, No. 1018, April 28, 2000
File 010
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Houston Voice, No. 1018, April 28, 2000 - File 010. 2000-04-28. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. October 19, 2019. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/montrose/item/1889/show/1869.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(2000-04-28). Houston Voice, No. 1018, April 28, 2000 - File 010. Montrose Voice. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/montrose/item/1889/show/1869

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

Houston Voice, No. 1018, April 28, 2000 - File 010, 2000-04-28, Montrose Voice, University of Houston Libraries, accessed October 19, 2019, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/montrose/item/1889/show/1869.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title Houston Voice, No. 1018, April 28, 2000
Contributor
  • Hennie, Matthew A.
Publisher Window Media
Date April 28, 2000
Language English
Subject
  • LGBTQ community
  • LGBTQ people
  • Gay liberation movement
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier OCLC: 31485329
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • LGBT Research Collection
  • Montrose Voice
Rights In Copyright
Note This item was digitized from materials loaned by the Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM).
Item Description
Title File 010
Transcript HOUSTON VOICE • APRIL 28, 2000 VOICES AND ECHOES VIEWPOINT Lifestyles of the win and self-absorbed by GREG D. KUBIAK You've heard it before. All that hand- wringing about the superficial body image and vanity among gay men. But the effect of our obsession with outer appearances, and the industries that support those obsessions, should make room for the more troubling reality of internal vanity. We know quite well how the fitness and fashion industry is making a mint off of gay male sensibilities and the desire to be on the cutting edge of physical fitness, beauty and style. Some statistics suggest that plastic surgery among gay men is a luxury in higher proportion than in the general public. Dawn Atkins, author of "Looking Queer: Body Image and Identity in Lesbian, Bisexual, Gay and Transgender Communities," has conducted studies about self-image, body weight and health in the gay male community. She found that the rate of eating disorders is higher among gay men than previously thought. But this is not the only exposure of 21st century vanity that affects our society. The internal vanity is also in our interest. The phone conversation was one-sided and seemingly endless. For nearly 15 minutes, Mark's friend prattled on about his gym routine, his untrustworthy new boyfriend, and how his job is just "so bad, because my boss is, like, always wanting to see my work." Finally, the gym bunny took a breath and asked, "So, how are you?" Mark, an acquaintance who related this story to me, was by now exasperated. Still, he told his self-described "best" friend, "Not too well. My dad had a heart attack today. I'm flying home tonight." There was silence on the other end of the phone, followed by a soft and shallow, "Oh? Bummer." It's just one illustration. There's an increasing aware ness among sociologists and Main Street Americans about life and human relationships. There are growing numbers of self-absorbed aliens taking on human form. Now, I don't have any studies, figures or legislative remedies for the internal vanity and self-absorption that is creeping through society. It's too pervasive. I'm more interested in naming the beast for now, than killing it. Worried that you, too, may be infected by this stealth invasion of self-absorbed aliens? Do your own inventory. If the average gym bunny worked half as hard on his personality as he did his pecs, he might actually be an interesting person. Take two blank pieces of paper. On the first, write down three columns of names: people you currently regard as your "best" friend(s); those you regard as friends; and finally, the names of people with whom you have extensive contact, but may not think of as a friend. Now, review your conversations and interactions with each person in each column and ask yourself these questions, (putting scores by the side of the names.) 1. Is this person someone I'd call if I had a problem or needed a serious favor? Score, add one point for "yes"; subtract one point for "no, but they'd probably call me if they needed a favor"; and zero points if you don't know. 2. Do I initiate contact with that person, wait for them to call me, or don't think about it because it's pretty even? Score: add one point for "pretty even"; zero points for "I initiate"; and subtract one point for "wait for them." 3. Is this someone whom I legitimately enjoy spending time with? And why? Score: add one point for "yes"; extra points for particularly good, qualitative "why's". After you've added up the points, and considered the qualitative "why" question in #3, take the second piece of paper. With that, reorder the columns with best friends, friends, and acquaintances based on the range of numeric differences. If you see specific shifts in names moved columns, it probably means either (a) you're being sucked dry by people who give little back, or (b) you're sucking your "friends" dry. The increase in sales of self-help books and psychological counseling appointments should give us all an idea that the "me" generation has taken some bad turns in the last few years. But it's not too late for us to do the interna] work that we're so quick to do for our exterior selves. A good friend of mine summed it up best referring to an attractive, well-built young man some time ago. "If he worked half as hard on his personality as he did his pecs," said my friend, "he might actually be an interesting person." We buy supplements to build muscle, increase sexual virility and grow hair. We dispose of excess income on the latest designer-labeled fashions, gym memberships and $40 haircuts. But moral support and friendship don't come from a catalog or a weight room. Pretty soon, it'll get lonely if you are the only friend you have. The best advice to an increasingly self-absorbed world is: If you want a friend, you've got to be a friend. Grt^ D. Kubiak is a Washington-based freelance columnist and can be readied via this publication oral CKubkk@aol.com. Vy\$zsT°\J3L{chOXL{for by Alison BecJidel Revisit the early stajses of Mo and Sydney's courtship in this archive episode while the cartoonist takes a brief rest stop. t<rt£ © \9$b By,*i.5oN a&rnpti. QiTfViNGEP FROM HER TWO UOJEJT FRijtNDS, M Pimps net. Social life Sadl) circumscribed. Til 1 ft I f\ i m AMAUffli? THATREJOLUTE t«£,l ■IfrVfiTHEP LDS I IS THAT RI&HT ? WELL MOR, >W/! fftE-jD CLARICE IJ R IF T HW A JUPfftiOfi- JPEAKIN6 TO yoU BECAUSE / Ify COMPLfcx THE yoil'n jOcHAR.ifeiP.SE'-P- J 5|-z£ of yoUM, I RI&KTEOUS PRIft^ ^■^WOU-'I'N'TTHltoWSTowEf.
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