Phone Fun — Amanda — Horoscopes — Soap — Personals
For the Montrose Voice
Out in the open and basking in admiration! How
nice, what fun! But please, try to maintain a little
modesty, and for heavens' sake, don't pick up all the
checks. This too shall pass, and the important thing is
that it should leave you with a rosy glow, not a stack
In the great leap forward you're attempting, just remember that landing can be hard. Look at endings as
well as beginnings. New schemes bring new responsibilities, and the bright shine of ambition may blind
you to them. Preparation insures happiness.
Don't complain. Don't grumble about how hard you
work. You're due for some recognition, and the best
way to achieve it is to smile and let everyone else
think you breeze along with no sweat. Even if it's not
true, let others think you're on top of it all.
Begin by accepting limits at work while you hide
your plans for some startling changes. Then, do the
same thing at home. Conservative elements will be
won over by your caution, enabling you to ease into
improvements you know are due in both places.
Think of yourself as a whole person. Limitations in
your personal life inspire some doubt but, if you consider your success outside your home, you'll find the
pride you need. What makes you unhappy is not
your doing; wait for it to resolve itself.
You should be right in your element. You're needed,
you have specific functions to perform, and your duties are those that you can do better than anyone
else. Don't question why you were tapped for the
job; the answer is unimportant.
As much as you like to avoid controversy, this may
still be the best time to present suggestions and
plans for change. Reception may be cool at first, but
your listeners are physically prepared. Be yourself;
your ease is convincing.
Keep the faith. You know what's important, and you
know that your project is on the way to genuine
realization. Support for you wavers, and your own
strength is necessary for continuation. This is no time
to share secrets, either.
Any blues you're plagued with should disappear
when you receive that nice surprise at home. Your
energy may ebb this time of year, and it's nice to
know that help is available from loved ones. Let life
You don't have to be told to listen to hunches. Something pops up in your head that lights lights and rings
bells. The combination of new inspiration with a lot
of well-appreciated support may skew you into a
new path and new ambition.
What you hope for doesn't come, I'm afraid, but your
setback is only temporary. Stay cocky and sure, and
don't let disappointment show-at any cost. Attitude
is important, and your flexibility will earn you new
As you continue to battle minor brush fires of trouble, your success in meeting them and quenching
them gives you added confidence. Finances are the
latest flare-up, but careful handling overcomes that.
Check for mistakes on your bills and paycheck. You
come out ahead.
A strange red invitation
By AMANDA B. RECONDWITH
The Montrose Voice
Dear Fans, just when we hid thought all
meaningful social life had disappeared in a
fit of post Reagan, pre-revolution funk, we
received a strange red invitation to a multiple birthday party.
We are not totally alien to such parties,
you know. When we were a mere tot, we were
a hostess at a neighborhood mass BSE It was
imite strange, however. We remember that
all the other kids were spilling ice cream
and shoving each other down in the sand
box, while we busied ourself with rearranging the table ware. Oddly enough the party
came to its climax when a passing storm
spawned a frisky tornado in the vicinity,
and the party was held at some kid's parent's trailer house! We all lay under the tables, screaming while the trailer rocked
back and forth in the gale, and their strange
little blue (our first look at a blue dog, dear
fans!) poodle howled with the electrical
Well, after quenching our childhood
fears, we called for several other dear
friends, and began to put on our party gear.
As you must know, dear fans, Sunday parties can be strange things. One must always
be prepared for whatever arises. Some Sunday parties seem as though they will certainly be real honkers, so we have shown up
in our wildest rubber wear; with streamline Lycra swimmings underneath in case
there's a pool—only to find that Mother is
one of the guests, and there will be a grand
regatta of Tupperwear passed through the
living room. Other times, we have dressed
in our most formal post-church gown (almost always black, even in summer!), only to find grown men swinging from rafters in leather straps, and assorted women
snaking through the grass with gold Texas
implants in their teeth.
Because we already knew the birthday
girls, however; we merely donned our favorite lime green garden frock with the
cancer dots and matching brown Pekinese
skin purse. We also knew that this would
be one of those "stand up" parties, so we
wore our crafty Lassie-Come-Home Paw
Print Party pumps with heavy duty rubber
foot cushions and bunion balls.
We knew there would be trouble when we
approached the house in Montrose and
found yellow police tape around the yard, as
if a murder had just taken place. Reading
the tape.it said "Danger—Party Zone!' Oh
From inside, pounding drones of Donna
Summer drifted across the neighborhood,
but the inhabitants were either hiding in
their storm cellars, or had fled the vicinity
to safer places like the Heights or the
We were greeted by every known species
of human being we have ever met, dear fans.
It was like Old Home Week, and upon the
wall were the baby pictures of our dear
hosts. Four innocent little babes gurgles
and drooled up at the cameras for our licentious enjoyment, and next to them were
more up-to-date pictures, where the girls
were dressed in their Not So finery. Dear
dear! Pink must be THE color these days,
dear fans! And the two with the chicken
heads simply made us gasp for air!
Probably the most disturbing picture,
however; was the picture of the little boy on
the tricycle. He seemed perfectly normal,
but when the picture was closely inspected,
we suddenly noticed that he was wearing
Had he put it there himself? Did they allow such things for children in Denver in
1960? Perhaps anything is possible!
Well, we bid everyone hello, stood around
for hours, gaping and gabbing, and had a
most wonderful time stroking beards, licking moustaches and guzzling Oatorade while
hooting at firemen at the station next door.
Finally, however, our feet had completely
deflated, and we rattled home like a blown
out Chrysler and fell into a hot bubble bath.
After all, the next day was Monday, and we
had certainly paid the price of another glorious Montrose Sunday bash!