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Houston Voice, No. 903, February 13, 1998
File 016
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Houston Voice, No. 903, February 13, 1998 - File 016. 1998-02-13. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. February 26, 2020. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/montrose/item/1305/show/1283.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(1998-02-13). Houston Voice, No. 903, February 13, 1998 - File 016. Montrose Voice. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/montrose/item/1305/show/1283

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

Houston Voice, No. 903, February 13, 1998 - File 016, 1998-02-13, Montrose Voice, University of Houston Libraries, accessed February 26, 2020, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/montrose/item/1305/show/1283.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title Houston Voice, No. 903, February 13, 1998
Contributor
  • Michelak, J. C.
  • Murphy, Terry
Publisher Window Media
Date February 13, 1998
Language English
Subject
  • LGBTQ community
  • LGBTQ people
  • Gay liberation movement
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier OCLC: 31485329
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • LGBT Research Collection
  • Montrose Voice
Rights In Copyright
Note This item was digitized from materials loaned by the Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM).
Item Description
Title File 016
Transcript COVER STORY VALENTINES/frompagm and Dot met at was the first gay bar in Memphis. II was a period of time where homosexuality was deeply rooted in the closet. 'That was a period when a woman best nol be caught in a bar after dark. I don't care who you were or why." says Vaughn, a well-known fund-raiser and personality in the Houston community. "A woman just wasn't there. And they didn't wear slacks. You just couldn't. When they decided lhat every woman going in had to wear dresses and they lost all of their business, then they made the bar a gay bar." Jeanette and Dot started dating sonn after they met and continued to do so off and on for nearly seven years, when they decided that they were destined lo he wilh one another. Neither one of them knew exactly what they were getting into, bill they knew they cared lor one another and were going lo spend eternity together. "There were other people in and oul of both of our lives during that period of lime. Dol and I never did stay totally oul of contact with each other during lhal period." Vaughn said. "And then, we were out togeiher one nighl and we just said 'Why are we doing all this other with other people? Why? [.tls go look for an apartment; lets do it.' And we did. We slarted building our lives togeiher. We went to go talk 10 my father ... he already knew I was a lesbian." Their relationship has endured and il is clearly evident that the two of them are still in love wilh each other to this day. Twenty-seven years of couplehood continues to grow. They have, and continue to, live it. So, what is the formula for a greal rela tionship? "I think wilh everyone—straight, gay, old, young lhe first attraction is. whether we wanl in say it mil loud or nol, the sexual attraction.'' says Vaughn. "Beyond that, whai makes il lasl once you realize This is good and 1 waul lo hold on lo it,' is the mutual building of trust in each olher. The dependability. The knowing lhat Die olher individual is there for you no matter what. There is a support mechanism. There is a oneness." she says. "| would have never understood this when I was young. I don't believe thai lhe very young, even the ones getting married by iheir priesls when ihey say that you actually become one, understand the meaning of what thai is. At that lime, there was no way lhat I could have. Not even when I made a commitment with Dol. I had no idea that I would ever feel lhat and know what it means, hui I do know what it means now. You really do become one. "Vim don'l realize une day lhal 'Yes I'm a lesbian,' and lhe next day. there Is somebody thai I think thai I want to live wilh. It's nol lhat way al all." she said. "It's the building, lhe confidence and many Ihings thai go with. 11 anybody feels Ihey caul comprehend living with someone else for lhe real oJ their life, then they have nol mel the righl person. Because when they do meel that righl person. Ihey are going io know and everybody else becomes non existent as far as looking al Ihem in a sexual aspect." Relationships require a lot of work and "patience*." says Vaughn. "During times of crises, not with each other, but individual crises wilh family, jobs, finances, etc.. we worked through those issues together. It brought us closer, simplv because II brought a deeper undersianding. We both grew up in the same generation, We took each Step togeiher. Everything happened lo both of us at the same lime in the process of being openly out. so we experienced il together." Vaughn maintains lhal il was difficult at times because they could not be openly gay during their early years together. The couple also raised Dots son and managed to keep their relationship hidden from him until he was older. She also believes that the lumulluous periods in their relationship brought them closer together as a couple. Thompson, who is the quiet one in the couple, spoke with the Voice briefly about Iheir relationship. She maintained that she enjoyed raising her son with Jeanette even though her son did not know about his mother's relationship with Dot for a long time. "We didn't do anything in front of him," Thompson said. "As he goi old enough, he learned thai we were gay ami he asked 'Why we didn't tell him years ago.' 1 ti>ld him it wasn't time." Thompson says lhal her sun Is straight and accepts them as his par- enls. Separation is a word that never entered their mind during the relationship. Jeanette and Dot made a commitment to each other and they intended to keep it. To be sure, there were periods of discontent, however, nothing that couldn't be ameliorated with some personal time for introspection. "We have to get away from each other at times. One of us will go outside, or take a drive. Not always as a result of anger, but just when we get on each others nerves. We're both retired. We are around each other 24 hours a day, so naturally ihere are times we get on each others nerves, but separating never enters the mind" said Vaughn. "I cannot comprehend. I cannot imagine my life without Dot being a pari of it." Thompson emphatically concurred with lhal sentiment. "1 wouldn't trade my life wilh Jeanette for nothing," said Thompson. Interestingly, ihey both have their own set of friends and do nol do everything togeiher. Dot enjoys fishing. Jeanette does not. Jeanette enjoys going to bars (she's has been a major figure in the imperial Court for years), Dol does not. Yet. they allow each other the latitude to enjoy their separate activities and seem content in the process, primarily because they are secure in their commitment to one another. And. on occasion, they will compromise and do something with the other regardless. Many community activists argue that long-term relationships in the gay and lesbian community are rare because gays are not afforded the legal mechanism for sustaining a relationship - marriage. Would gay marriages encourage gay couples to make a commitment? "We might see more marriages, because il would then be in vogue." says Vaughn. "But I think we would see just as many divorces as Ihere are in the straight community, I want, trust me. all of the advantages of marriage—the insurance rights, the spousal benefits—but as far as having See VALENTINES/ page 16 More than 70% of Viramune -treated patients achieved undetectable viral loads with triple- combination therapy
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