Par Talk S.A. &T.&1: Pap? IT
To whom it may concern:
I am Carin Victoria Gleason. I am a woman.
Although I have always been female, I was born
a man. This has caused me many personal
problems through the years; trying to live up
top other's expectations of my life and my own
efforts of trying to live my image of a male
life have caused me many hardships. Mostly
though I have been unhappy.
And now as I have reached the point in my
life where I need to be happy with myself,
j happiness that I have found in my womanhood, why -
I must I suffer so much unhappiness from the
people around me. If I choose to dress the way
I I feel inside, If I choose to live the way I
feel inside, If I finally have the courage to
live as what I really am, why can I not recieve
support and congratulations from my friends and
family, or at least why can't they Just leave me
alone. Instead, I must suffer through threats, <
scorn, and harrassment because I am differnt
from society's expectations.
Saddest of all, is that I am not really
differenmt from society's norms. What I am
inside is the same, whether male or female, in
fact, that that is good about me, is neither
gender. Love, concern, friendship, honesty, .
generosity, integrity, faith, intelligence,
wisdom, ambition, helpfullness, cooperation,
desire to do the best that I can do, all that I
value in myself, are the same values that
society values in itself. Even anger, when
controlled, can be of value.
All of these virtues are of the same value,
in the male as in the female. Maybe society's
norms dictate that one gender should have more
of one value than another, but what people would
persecute a man because he loves his children,
more than the woman who bore them ? What people
would scorn as woman who is* more wiser or
honest than a man?
All that I seek to do now, is to bring what
is inside of me out. By doing so, am I not
becoming more honest? Am I not becoming more
""self-confident? Are these not virtues? Am I
By bringing what is inside of me out, I
change only two things: Appearance and
relationships. People change their appearance
and relationships everyday. People change
clothes to feel better about themselves. People
change friends to feel better about themselves.
People make whatever changes they need to in
order to pursue, happiness as they see it.
(didn't America begin as a persuit of
happiness?) If my persuit of happiness leads me
to female appearance and to feminine
relationships, isn't that still my persuit of
To you that have found hang-ups and
troubles because of my life, I am sorry. I'm
sorry if I failed to respond to your problems,
or if I failed to see your problems at all. I'm
busy exploring my own new life. I am like an
adolescent discovering him or herself. I am
Just a kid, (not an easy thing to say at my
age). I never meant to make anyone unhappy, I
only meant to make me happy.
If you hate me because I differ from your
beliefs, I suggest that you read "Mein Komp" and
study the workings of Adolph Hitler's master
plan, so that you may use your hatred to it's
fullest extent against me. If you feel that
this suggestion is inappropriate, then it is
most likely that your hatred is righteous and
proper, based on the teachings of the bible. To
you, I suggest that you keep your head buried in
the Old Testament and above all do not read
Matthew 22:39 because you won't want to know
that Jesus superseded your hatred long ago.
If you have written me off as crazy and
sick, then please remind me of my affliction
every time you see me, because I want to be
constantly reminded that the life I was living
was as small, closed, and ignorant as your's is
If you have read my letter and are unable
to accept or understand me, then please do one-
more thing for me: In your next .prayer when you
are asking God to give you faith so that you may
make it safely into heaven, ask him to remove
from me the corruptions that you feel I have.
However, if you have read my letter and
think that you might like me or at least want me
to live in peace and happiness, then please do
one more thing for me: In your next prayer, ask
our Father ""$0 introduce us, once we arrive in
heaven. With all my heart,
Carin Victoria Gleason
More power to ya! If all else fail's, Just
remember Grade's standard, that's the piece of
mistletoe hanging from the belt, in the back!
t BH*tt IFF
Miss Gay San Antonio, Usa 1988"
134 W. Turbo
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