ON THE TOWN...
Greetings Austin: So how are things
this week? I really thought we were
going to get some rain, but it just
passed us by. At least we got a bit of
cooler weather. Too bad it didn't last
This was the first weekend that I
didn't make it to Hippie Hollow. I had a
date with the washateria. Isn't that a
great word? Washateria. Much better
than laundramat. Anyway, I swear I was
there for four hours. I am not proud that
I had to hire a U-Haul trailer to tote my
dirties to the washateria, but it was a
major experience in my life. I'll never
let my laundry pile up like that again.
(I said that once back in 1982-look
where it got me.) That's enough about
my dirty laundry. I probably shouldn't
air it like this-but some girls just have
I trust everyone had a festive Easter.
I did. The Brady Sisters were out all
Sunday afternoon sporting their new
Easter bonnets, It took them only three
hours to complete their creations, and
weren't they just creations? Fresh floral
designs and everything. If you didn't
see these sick creatures you were
probably lucky. After attending a
sumptuous brunch prepared by Joyce
and Melissa, the Brady sluts (did 1 say
that?) managed to make it by the 505
in time for their Easter egg hunt and
hamburger cook-out. Weren't those
hamburgers absolutely delicious? Yes
indeedy! Kevin, you peed.
After the 505, the Brady girls cruised
over to Sally's Apartment for beer
bust. Their feet were starting to ache
because their pumps were just too tight,
so they shucked their Easier costumes
and did boy-drag.
The girls started feeling pretty at
Sally's and thought they were on their
way home, but made a short pit-stop at
the Private Cellar for George's
fajita dinner. Quite tasty the girls told
Welllll, the next thing you know,
these trolopps were at the Chain
Drive drinking margaritas! Needless to
say, they were home snug in their beds
by eight o'clock. I know, I saw the
Here's the latest on the Nexus
Naughties. These girls are wild!
Tuesday before last at Nexus, things just
started getting a little out of hand when
not only the four dancers. Ebony,
Roxanne, Sidney, and Ivory took
their clothes off, but eight other girls,
including Suzie their manager, took
their clothes off as well! See how these
group things get started? Leave it to
Suzie. I won't even mention that my
own neighbor, Allison, was one of the
girls from the audience who gave a free
show. My Lord. Of course Suzie was
This past Easier Sunday the Nexus
Naughties performed in Houston with
Snake and Hunter of Muscles In
Action at Menergy which was
formerly Crystal's. And yes, I did say
Snake and Hunter. They're no longer
with The Headliners. I understand
they have both signed on with
Muscles in Action for a year.
Next Wednesday al the Private
Cellar is the lasi drag show. Or should
I say The Last Drag Show?
Anyway, Miss Riki, Cookie and
the gang will, for the last time at the
Cellar, flash their femininity onstage.
Something different at the Private
Cellar--Saturday afternoons at 3:30 you
can bring your pels to the patio for a
Pet Show. There will be three
categories in which to enter your iguana:
best pet, best trick (no Helen...like
jumping through a hoop...not your last
date) and best costume. That means you
can finally put that hampster in a
hoopshirl. Margaret Wiley will
emcee the pel shows. She's a hoot. To
get the lowdown on Ihe pel shows, call
Margaret at 836-7774. She'll explain
the rules and gel your favorite pussy
Comedy troupe Menage-a-trois is
appearing with Carmen Banana
tonight al 10:00p.m. on Channel 10,
the Austin Access Channel. Also look
for two public service announcements
for safe sex sponsored by AIDS
Services of Austin, and starring
Garrett Eckhoff and Tucker
Speaking of comedy troupes, the
New and Improved Radio Hour,
debuts at the Boathouse this coming
Thursday, April 30. Show starts at
11:00p.m. That sick woman, Frank
Benge, is behind ihis caper! And guess
what. 69 cent bottle beer all night
long. Watch for details of the body
building contest at the Boathouse in
early June. Over $1000 will be given in
Sunday afternoons at the Crossing
are really festive with their Sunday
afternoon cook-out beginning at
4:00p.m. Next weekend, which is
Splash Day Weekend, the Crossing
is importing fresh craw-fish from
Louisiana for their weekly cookout.
Cajun craw-fish Crossing style!
By the way. Splash Day is this
next weekend, Sunday, May 3. It's
going to be one of the biggest ever,
especially now that Galveston isn't
making any plans for a formal splash
day there. The word about town is to
get to Hippie Hollow EARLY. There
will be vans and shuttles taking people
out to the lake from designated places
around town. I'll tell you next week
where these are.
Tonight is Black & White Nite
at Nexus. Wear black and white attire
and pay no cover. This will happen the
last Friday of every month. Look for
their patio bar to open tomorrow night.
Its really hot!
The Texas Gay Rodeo
Association is holding their state
meeting here in Austin, tomorrow at
2:00p.m. A High Noon Buffet will
precede the meeting which is open to
the public. All these goings-ons w.n
happen at Petticoat Junction.
Tomorrow night, in honor of the
TGRA slate meeting, Badlands is
hosting a TGRA "Cornyation"
which begins at 10:00 p.m. Bubbles
is cmcccing the show with gucsl
appearances by Barbie Doll.Miss
Fat Stock, The Baptist Women
and visiting royalty from across the
state. Grandma will be there!
This weekend is Badlands' First
Anniversary. Tonight is Studs &
Suds (Hot almost naked men and 25 cent
draft) with free champagne at midnight.
I just love champagne--it's one of the
true pleasures of life.
This Sunday is the first night of
Country/Western Gospel Nights
at Badlands. After this special first
night. Gospel Night will be every
Wednesday night in Badlands. Services
start at 10:00p.m. Hallelujah!
Next Saturday night at Badlands is
the Black & Gold Party. Sunday
evening is a spectacular production
entitled "Leather In Review". And
watch out, Slutina will be in town this
weekend. I hear she is real wild and real
strange and real sick.
You know, Nicole is rather a busy
woman these days. Every Tuesday nighl
at Hall's is Three Times A Lady"
starring Nicole, Lady P.T., and
Tatiana. Wednesday nights at Nexus
is "Nicole & Co.". God knows
where else she'll appear.
The Chain Drive is celebrating
their first anniversary this weekend
with a fabulous line-up. Tonight is free
drinks from 8-10PM. Tomorrow night
there is a midnight drawing for a pair of
leather chaps. Here's the scoop on the
drawing: starting at 7:00p.m. on
Saturday night, with every drink you
purchase, you gel a ticket. You record
your name, address, and phone number
on the ticket and put it into the pot for
the drawing. In other words, the more
cocktails you have, the better your
chances of winning the chaps. And you
don't even have lo be present to win.
On Sunday afternoon there is a customer
appreciation cook-out which starts at
4:00p.m. (yes, that means free food) If
you wear a Chain Drive t-shirt, you gel
special drink prices all day Saturday.
You think it will be a festive
weekend in Austin?
Scaramouche is the name of the
new patio bar at the 505. It was
named for one of the hottest clubs in
Cozumel. By the way\ Bruce and
Drew are leaving for Cozumel the
Monday after Splash Day for seven days
of fun in the sun. There will be a Bon
Voyage Party for Bruce and Drew on
Splash Sunday starting around 5:00p.m..
Those creeps. I'm jealous. Be sure and
try their steak night every Monday
Sally's Apartment is having 66
Hours of Controlled Madness
during Splash Weekend. They're
staying open all night next Saturday and
Sunday nights. Breakfast will be served
Sunday morning and then it's off to the
lake. So for all you out-of-lowncrs or
in-towners who want to bed down at
Sally's, bring your sleeping bags and
nightgowns. A Sunday afternoon
brisket dinner will also be served after
Sure sounds like a lot of heavy duty
partying going on in Auslin in the next
week. Y'all have fun, but do be careful
and don't drive drunk.
Be sure and give me a call this week
at 495-9553 if you have any juicy
gossip or anything that you think I need
lo write about. So, in the meantime,
peace, love, prosperity, and safe sex....