Joyce Brothers Declares Sex
Without Love a Bummer
Dr. Joyce Brothers has a daily
column in the Houston Post. The
below is copied from the May
29 morning edition.
Dear Dr. Brothers: I'm 19 and
I'm afraid I'm frigid or homosexual. I've never had any homosexual experiences and I don't
really think I'm really attracted
to women, but something must be
wrong as I don't get any real
kicks from men. I can't seem to
fall in love--I don't even think I
know what it means. I've had sexual experiences with a number of
young men and frankly they've all
been very disappointing. Maybe
I expected too much but, so far,
sex is a big bore. -- S.T.
Dear S.T.: Many psychiatrists
report that your complaint is being
heard more and more frequently,
especially from young people. I
would guess that one of the reasons this is true is that sex is
becoming too routine and too disassociated from tenderness,
affection and love. In other words,
it is becoming little more than
a mechanical act. If curiosity is
the only reason for intercourse,
it is not surprising that it should
You admit that you've not "fallen
in love" and yet you've had "a
number" of sexual experiences.
For one thing, you may be rushing into sexual experiences before
you have any real emotional desire
for physical closeness.
Ideally, sex comes as a result
of a feeling of emotional closeness and it is the climax of a
love relationship. By persistently
rushing into sex before you have
an opportunity to feel other forms
of closeness, you may be blocking
yourself off from an opportunity
to get to know someone on another
level. To achieve the maximum of
sexual enjoyment there must be
some emotional involvement.
Unfortunately, in our permissive
society, many young people today
do not have the emotional skills
necessary to allow them a rewarding, satisfying sexual relationship.
Don't worry about being homosexual, since you don't seem to
have any inclinations in that direction. It is also highly unlikely that
you are frigid. You are simply
placing unrealistic demands on
your body by trying to separate
it from the rest of your being.
You are demanding that your body
work and perform in a certain way
even though you have no feeling to
go with the performance. Your
body, rejecting sex because it is
totally separated from tender feelings, refuses to give you the pleasure you expect.
It is also possible, of course,
that you have some strong feelings of guilt about sex that have
been carried over from childhood.
You may feel that what you're doing
is morally wrong even though you
have managed to bury this feeling deep in your unconscious.
In previous years the Circle of
Friends has been an educational
and social organization. This year,
members decided to roll up their
sleeves and become politically active too. Almost 300 questionaires
were sent to candidates of local,
state, and national offices. The
Circle of Friends expected most of
the questionaires to be routinely
discarded, many to be returned
with negative and hate-filled answers, only a few to be returned by
candidates willing to work for gay
equal rights. Surprisingly more
questionaires were returned than
expected. We quickly read the response, got on the telephone and
alerted the gay community as to
whom to vote for during the Texas
primary elections. Joe Hawn won
the Democrate State Representative, District 33L: and David S.
MOST PROFESSIONAL IN DALLAS
BEST SERIOUS PERFORMER (Zodiac Boll)
Crocket won the 33E District.
The gay community of Texas ins't
organized enough to claim credit
for these victories, although perhaps we helped. But in years to
come, the gay community will be- ■
come organized and carry enough
weight so that political candidates
will have to court the gay vote,
as California candidates have found
If nothing else, the questionaire
showed 300 political candidates
that gay citizens are on the move.
Based on the information returned to the Circle of Friends, we advise gay votes to vote for the following people in the runoff elections June 3rd:
Eddie Bernice Johnson, State
Representative District 330,
Paul B. Ragsdale, State Representative District 33N, Democrate
Sam Coats, State Representative
District 33K, Democrate
Emerson Emory, State Representative District 33C, Democrate
Questionaires are still being received and we will advise gay citizens to vote for candidates who
promise to work for gay civil rights in the National Election, November 4th.
We thought you might be interested
in some of the more unusual comments we've received.
I've worked in psychiatry a number of years. Fm not one to condemn life styles of people that they
are satisfied with as long as. the
rights of others are not infringed
1 upon. I am not homsexual myself
but feel this is the right or rather
a choice open to people as a freedom.
Homosexuals may obtain their legal rights through unrelenting efforts, as is the case with any group
I support the right of consenting adults to live together under any circumstances where the rights (legal
and moral) of other citizens are not
I do not believe your life style should be glamorized or encouraged;
however, 1 think individuals ( adults) should be able to pursue their
own dictates in private.
Q. Do you believe that two people
should be able to legally join in a
marriage contract, regardless of
sex? A. lamtoooldfashion to accept this at the present time.
I think consenting adults should be
able to do anything they want to as
long as they don't infringe on the
rights of others or don't engage
openly in activities which would
unduly shock our heterosexual oriented society.
Continued pg 10
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