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'Mamma $wa-tjtf SSwe
MOMMA KVA
3ob Cappell
Anybody who was Gay and alive
ten years ago in Dallas, just coming out or whatever, met this wonderful woman named EVA when
she first started working at what
was then called Ken's Kitchen
at Lemmon and Mckinney.
Now called the Trio Coffee Shop
this place was home to hundreds
living in the area. Gays, normally
unhappy without friends, and many
disliking their own home-cooking
found a touch of both here and in
due time this became the place to
go. Not just to eat, but to meet.
Back at that time, the curfew
for bars was 12 o'clock and when
the bars emptied, there was little
else to do, or for that matter nowhere else to go. And so, at some
times this coffee shop was literally orrun by Gays.
Management viewed this with
alarm and did its level best to
limit the number of us at one
time, but insults and slow service had no effect on many of us,
and instead of diminishing our
number it slowly increased. Not
that we were in love with the spot
it was just that there was no where
else to go most times, and for
the many younger gays without a
car it was the ONLY place within reach by foot.
During this early period, the
management had problems with
the waitresses who refused to
serve our kind, and these poor
gals had good reason....think a-
scending on this coffee shop at
12/1 o'clock in the morning, all
demanding IMMEDIATE SERVICE
and camping, cutting up, grab-
assing, cussing-discussing,etc.,
...well it freaked these poor gals
right out of their thin little heads
and they would quit one right after another.
To help the problem, a portion
of the coffee, shop was designated
for Gays, this as a consession to
us at the time, and it looked as
though that would work. Bringing us to the real beginning of our
story.
MOMMA EVA was assigned to
handle this 'dangerous territory'.
And with the courage of a line-
back, Eva encountered the Gays.
At first the queens parlayed bets
on how long Eva would last, and
set out to 'wreck' her by talk-
of love affairs, etc., you know
the bit; while Eva firmly planted herself before the tables and
waited to take orders. Along with
the orders, she took abuse and
insults....for slow service, wrong
orders, etc., not really her fault
but never managed to lose con
trol of her temper. Usually at
the hour of madness, there was
only one cook and eveings, the
only business came after the bars
would close. And at this hour,
after the bars had poured many
drinks of the empty waiting gullets, rank and filthy language was
used against the coffee shop and
personnel, including Eva.
But none of that worked. At
least Eva refused to let the kids
know how she felt about it. In
stead, she set about on a plan
of her own....to win these kids
over. And for all the abkse she
took, she returned her warm and
cheerful smiles, camped back and
through her passive attitude won
first our respect, then our love.
The management was uohappy
with cir business, and afier she
tamed us down a little, harassed
Eva each time we became un
ru!\. but you could hear a pin
drop in that place whenever her
boss called her over for a talk-
ing-to...and lots of stoney glares
hit the owner between the eyes
for many minutes after, believing
he had Eva on the carpet for
something we may have done.
The owner was more concerned
for the tranquility of the three
or four straights in the place
than the fifty or sixty of us.
So Eva's first yearx at the
coffee shop weren't easy one. As
time wore on, however, Eva won
for herself a certain place in our
collective heart, a certain rapport or karma, if you will
ancT^became the mother to us
all! And we her brood. And by
this time, the only person we
would tolerate service from was
Eva. On the night each week she
had off. the place was like a
mortuary.
Momma Eva treated her broode
with love and understanding, often
listening to problems which went
way beyond her comprehension at
first, but listened patiently anyway, knowing that 'talk' was the
most important outlet to a lot of
us, and she wanted to listen, and
help, if she could.
As time passed, she began to
know each of her patrons by name
and had coffee ready when they
hit the front door...for the kids
who preferred nick-names, she
called them by these. She knew
her brood, and often times, when
the restaurant was overflowing
with a capacity crowd and the
Gays were forced to sit in another
section of the place, Eva would
slip over to the other side where
'hostile waitresses' were serving
us and make sure all went well.
Parenthetically, let me say this
right now. Eva wasn't going after
TIPS...she was going after her
KIDS!
Hardly a bar operator missed
dropping by to meet and see this
wonderful woman, and as the bar
scene grew, and petty squabbles
would break out between some of
the owners, Eva never took sides.
She would only admonish the operators for not getting along. But
left this to be the only place in
town where competitors could go
and find no favoritism. And in
some few cases even arranged for
one or two feuding operators to
meet there for coffee to discuss
tne problem and perhaps even
resolve it.
Eva heard a lot in that place,
too, but never used her mouth to
'tattle' on anyone. Lovers looking
for missing lovers would come in
search of their mate, and there
would be Eva to console. BUT...
if that other party had left not
five seconds ago, she would never
tell. That's her style.
I don't know how Eva managed
to survive in that period...what
little salary she earned she used
to bring up her family. From
lousy little tips, she gave most
of that away to the teeny-boppers
who were always broke. And to
the, Gays who'd lost a job, or to
hot check writer to keep him
>iii of jail, u..d i»i * hundred
rther reasons. But dear Eva was
ilmust always good for a 'touch',
we never will be able to count
he number of tabs she was forced
lo pick up when kids who were too
broke to pay for the meal and too
proud to ask for help just upped
and left without paying...many of
these times, Eva was faced with
her own financial burdens and at
no time did she ask any of us for
help. SOMEHOW she managed to
find the money, pay the tabs, and
go on about her work.
Eva was always there. Even
when she had serious problems
Aith her legs and feet, and the
cruel pain virtually crippled her,
she went to work every day, never
complaining, delivering service as
though nothing was wrong. She
couldn't afford to quit working as
her doctor had ordered, and besides, who'd look after her Gay
• ->n And while she was trying ,
j uve on probably less than
in a week, she still managed
. ui enough Up money to con-
foelp support the many
rung (.ays who needed a 25<HERE
wung kids who needed a 25£
here or 50< there, or help paying rent. And in a way, it was good
that the more affluent Gays tipped
Eva well....it gave her more money to help her kids. Veeery little
of those loans repaid. And while
swarthed in bandages from ankle
to hip, Eva still made time to sit
and listen to our petty gossip and
what, in genuflection, seems like
very petty problems. But to Eva,
our problems were quite important.
She is one of those remarkable
women who must have been borne
of sainted stock. A woman with a
heart made of pure gold. A lady
bred in poverty but styled for silk
and lace. A woman whose true
love for life embraces everyone
she meets. A pioneer and a loud
voice for gays LONG before it
became 'fashionable' to know a
Gay. When it soiled others to be
with us, eva somehow made 11
seem clean.
The Trio Coffee shop is sim
there in Dallas, today, and ever\
day, Eva reports to work \ littie
more tired than she one*- noKet1
but her age ha-- in* &.. he,
more poise and grace. The lines
in her face show signs of sadness
only at moments but the winning
smile seems to cause these to
vanish and instantly you sense the
real woman behind her smile.
Her son has grown up and is
married; she is the proud grandmother of three beautiful young
ones. These three children will
never know the love Eva has given
us, but they will somehow sense
the legacy Eva leaves with them,
and I'm certain without a quiver
of doubt that Eva's son, daughter-
in -law, and the grandbabies, will
have somehow inherited the love
for people Eva displays.
Eva remembers the Gay underground days in Dallas, when it
was fashionable to laugh at the
'fairies' and it wasn't safe to go
to bars; and past those hostile
years MOMMA EVA brought up
her brood, many to be successes
in many fields. And the wonderful thing is, she hasn't forgotten
one of her .kids. I've seen her
eyes swell vwtn tears wnen wc
.older-ones come back to say hello, and watched the pain in her
face show when she waves goodbye.
Eva is only a waitress at that
coffee shop, but somehow, when
you're there, you're enveloped in
the feeling it's her own home.
One interesting footnote, is the
sweatshirt floating around town,
in large quantity, displaying an
illustration of Momma Eva, worn
by many people proud to be a part
of her brood. It was a shock to
see the first one, but not really
surprising. For my part, a monument should be risen in the shop
parking lot with her likeness atop,
inscribed...I'm straight...but I'm
for GAYS...because they're people
too...this has been her credo. All
along.
It would not be true, perhaps,
to say that without Eva or the
Gay people, there would not be
a Trio Coffee shop. But one thing
IS certain, without Eva. therepro-
babaly wouldn't be any Gay people
thereeither.
This woman must surely be the
most loved and respected in Big
'D' AND IF LOVE CAN EXPRESS
ITSELF WITH LONGEVITY, Eva
most certainly will live to be the
oldest woman in the world. She
will probably remain at that coffee shop as long as she is physically able. We can all hope she
remains happy there. But we can
also band together to remind her
that wwelove her too, by patronizing what must be a very understanding employer, and see that
her position there remains secure for as long as she desires.
I may be wrong, but I believe that
as long as Gay money is spent in
that establishment, Eva will remain there. And the establishment
deserves our patronage.
DDI'm proud to have known thi;
beautiful and courageous lady all
these years. And if Dallas Ga,\
Life has one precious gem for
all the world to view, it is the
story of MOMMA EVA...a love
story.
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