Did she know you loved her?
Oh yes! She knew everything.
How did she react?
She always accepted my love for her. She
never denied me that. She never approved
of homosexuality or myself being a lesbian.
But we were very close. We were together
so often. I had no other person but she to
love. I needed her. And we spent very close
hours with each other. At times, though, she
maintained a distance from me. And certainly,
my love for her was pure. But when I saw
her dancing with another man or spending time
with her boyfriend. . .1 thought men could
never sympathize with her as I could. Certainly only I could give her everything
she needed. I wish she had agreed. But I
do think she was jealous when she saw me at
the gay bar in Houston dancing with another
woman. After all that, all that frustration,
I felt a triumph over that. But why. . ..
She thinkss I should return to complete my
I should, but. . .life is so free here and
I can meet the people I want! If I return,
I will complete ray degree and go somewhere
else, the United States or France. Marriage
to some gay men is impossible. The FBI
investigates marriages now.
Do you think immigration laws should be
Oh yes! Definitely. But can you imagine the
gay people of the world coming here?
What were your impressions of this country
before you arrived?
My impressions were formed of what people
said who had visited this country, books I
read and glimpses of the life on television.
This country seemed incredibly wealthy, but
also, it was a vulgar world.
But what about homosexuality?
In this country? In our country's foremost
newspaper, a conservative one, was an article
about homosexuality in the United States. Also
a picture of men dancing together in a gay bar.
Naturally the article decried the scene: degradation, this immorality sweeping, this worst
form of immorality destoying the country.
Oh it condemned and with such detail!
I read the article in secret and hid the
page where not even the maid could find it.
Later on I "discovered" it again and showed
it to my family at dinner. I asked them in
neutral tones what they thought of this. Of
course they thought it was horrible—except
my brother who, though he thought it unfortunate, nevertheless could be understood intellectually. I did not say anything.
I imagined what this country must be like
I wanted to go, to experience this reality.
Now I think that this country is not very
much different from minr, but it certainly
is more open. People try to understand a
minority, oor they eventually do. You do not
find this in Argentina. There are classes,
but there are no minorities with their separate societies. There is more or less one
society within your class, and you are eithe
inside it or outside it.
INT: Are there any homosexuals who are open?
ANA: If you are rich you can live your own life.
One lawyer I know of lives with another man.
But people invent rumors about him. They say
he picks up little boys and girls. He does
not, but I have heard even stranger rumors
about him that could not be true, even in
And then a few people at the University
are known to be homosexuals. Eventually they
do not care what others say, but they suffer
I know of one person who, outside the door
of the Faculty of Sciences, was beaten up by
another man. The man walked up to him, callei
him a queer, and began hitting his face. He
accepted the treatment because it is the expected thing,
INT: Do you see any change in Argentina? Will gay
people ever be accepted?
ANA: Will gay people be accepted? Friends, real
friends, the variety you do not find in tkhe
United States, will accent the person who is
homosexual. But that does not mean that they
What I mean by a friend is this: the
gay man who was beaten up outside the Faculty^
of Sciences had been standing next to his
male friend. This friend does not accept
homosexuality. The attacker shouted Queer,
and began beating him up. He did not defend
himself. But his friend pulled the attacker
away and told him to leave. And the woman
I loved, who was not a lesbian, she was my
friend and never told anyone but her family
about me and stood with me on other matters.
At the same time she felt free to criticize
me, to debate me when she disagreed, I have
not found a friend like that in the United
States, not a real friend. All I find are
people who agree and agree and are not inter
ested enough to disagree. It is difficult
to make friends in the United States. This
aloneness is what I constantly feel.