Keyword
in
Collection
Date
to
The Star, No. 5, January 6, 1984
File 006
Citation
MLA
APA
Chicago/Turabian
The Star, No. 5, January 6, 1984 - File 006. 1984-01-06. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. February 27, 2020. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/gcam/item/2158/show/2154.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(1984-01-06). The Star, No. 5, January 6, 1984 - File 006. Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM) Digital Archive. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/gcam/item/2158/show/2154

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Star, No. 5, January 6, 1984 - File 006, 1984-01-06, Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM) Digital Archive, University of Houston Libraries, accessed February 27, 2020, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/gcam/item/2158/show/2154.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

URL
Embed Image
Compound Item Description
Title The Star, No. 5, January 6, 1984
Contributor
  • Martinez, Ed
Date January 6, 1984
Language English
Subject
  • LGBTQ community
  • LGBTQ people
Place
  • Austin, Texas
  • San Antonio, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier OCLC: 783846406
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • LGBT Research Collection
  • Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM) Digital Archive
Rights No Copyright - United States
Note This item was digitized from materials loaned by the Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM).
Item Description
Title File 006
Transcript Naming a Gay Commentary Business is Not an Easy Feat Jan. 6,1984 / The Star 5 By Peter Harrison If you want to open a business, better think up a name right now. One of my oldest, dearest and beet-hung friends recently went through the trauma of going to the county clerk's office to register a name for his new plant store: he thought "The Green Queen" was a good one. But, no! Someone else somewhere else in the state had beat him to it. I tried to soothe him with a combination of warm caresses and cold gin. I even suggested a better name, I thought: "Sod 'Em and Grow More Rye." But he went into terminal wilt until he came up with "How Does Your Basket Hang?" and ran off to the courthouse to try that one. I'm beginning to think that I should open a business of my own, a kind of advisory service for people like him who need names for new enterprises. After eating at a couple of new gay restaurants, I'vecome ■ i c ((": I'^s f% S] 4 1 1, to the conclusion that more time was spent planning what to call those places than on any questions of food preparation or decor. "A Quiche Before Dining" did offer quiche as an appetizer, a bouncy little item that prophesized the latex-derivative steak to come. "Tomorrow's Manicotti" had papered the walls with old physique magazines, it's true, but the pasta tasted more like yesterday's. Raw fish has never appealed to me, so I can't honestly comment on "Name That Tuna" and "If You Knew Sushi." Obviously, the gay community puts great store in originality. Others don't seem to care quite so much. In both New York and San Francisco, there are "Old Original Joe's" and I believe that there's even an "Old Original Joe's Number Two" in one or the other. Having lots of money seems to work against catchy names, too. You won't find service stations called "Don't Pass Our Gas" or "The Lube Your Joint Joint." Movie moguls are very happy with "Superman III" and "Rocky Infinity." Hilton and Sheraton just keep on throwing up "Hilton Hamtramcks" and "Sheraton Sheboygans." But our people suffer from what I call the Rumplestilskin Syndrome. You gotta have a name or the magic's not there. Let me tell you the true story of two men who went to Russian River, fell in love with the place and decided to open a gay guest house. After tramping around (and I emphasize tramping) for three days, they consulted a real-estate office and found a charming old building with ponds, trees, ducks and flowers. It was going cheap, because it was near a railroad siding where two abandoned cabooses were baking in the sun. No one wanted them, and prospective buyers considered them an eyesore. Our heroes, truly creative sorts, realized that the cabooses could be easily lifted off the tracks onto the property and made into charming (a key word in gay business) little (another key word here) weekend hideaways (that's called a literary hat trick—three key words in one phrase). They checked with the railroad—sure enough, cabooses went more cheaply than new construction. Zoning was right. There was adequate water, sewage and a ready- made clientele. So they sat back and started planning. There would be little Roger & Gaillet soaps, big bath towels and complimentary shampoo. They started making lists of things to check: is KY available in tin} little tubes? Can you grow watercress in a duck pond? And, they considered the name. "Take The A Train," "Loose Caboose" and "Orange Blossom Special" were all discarded. "The Right Track" and "Club Car" just seemed to prove that the railroad motif wasn't the way to go. "Wanderlust" and "Loose Ends" killed a travel theme. Meanwhile, interest rates crept to 12 percent. "Yo' Mama's," as in "Where are you staying?" "Yo' Mama's!" nearly caused an argument. "Mother Ducks" was offered rapturously by one of the partners and received coolly by the other. Interest went to 13 percent. To cut a long story short, by the time they arrived at a name—"Boys R Us"— mortgage rates had gone through the ceiling. Instead of realizing their dreams of welcoming hunks to their soignee orgy parlor, they found themselves overwhelmed with mountains of brochures for kitchen implements, souvenir matches and lawn furniture. Instead of happily sharing their work as well as leisure time, they found themselves with a severely strained relationship. ("If we'd called it 'Gandy Dancers' like I wanted, we'd be operating now." "If we'd named it that, we'd be out of business now.") All of this could have been avoided if I were in business, offering help to those who need it. A quick consultation with Peter Harrison, and you'd be off in a flame with a name. Vital with a title. All systems a-go-go with a logo. A gay video arcade? "Shirley Booths." Gay farm chemicals? "Weed 'Em and Reap." Gay storage system? "Closet Cases." Dry cleaners? "Pressing Concerns." Footwear? "The Shoe Must Go On." See how easy I could make it for you? If you're interested, keep watching this column, and I'll let you know how to get in touch. I'll be open for business—as soon as I can think of a name. Harrison lives in New Jersey. His column appears here and in other gay publications. I lffH3 Stonewall Features Syndicate. Glenn No Longer the 'Right Stuff for the Gay Community continued from page 1 especially important to lesbians and gay men, including immigration, AIDS, violence, social service delivery and discrimination against gays and lesbians in the military. The group also challenged Glenn's contention, made earlier in the day, that lesbians and gay men were unfit to work as "teachers or YMCA directors." While the dialogue was cordial, the Ohio senator continually focused on the idea of sexual orientation as a choice rather than a pre-existing condition like race or gender. "The Senator acknowledged the existence of discrimination," Apuzzo noted, "but was unwilling to support any remedy for that discrimination. This intransigence is unacceptable." Vogel added, "He offered no new departures from his previous positions." Glenn, himself, stressed that he wanted a "continuing dialogue with the gay and lesbian community," and conceded that "this iBsue (gay and lesbian civil rights) has become an item on the national agenda." Two days later on Dec. 15, Senator Ohrenstein announced his resignation from the Glenn campaign because of Glenn's "refusal to support homosexual rights legislation ... (which) called into question his otherwise superb record on civil and human rights by engaging in a prolonged debate on lesbian and gay rights, an issue which has broad-based support within the Democratic Party." Former Houston Gay Political Caucus President Lee Harrington, Association Vice-Chair for the South Central Region of the National Association for Lesbian and Gay Democratic Clubs, issued the following statement: "While the meeting Glenn requested ... was a frustrating one for our association's co-chair, Peter Vogel, and for Senator Ohrenstein, we are very encouraged by John Glenn's desire to continue meeting, as well as by his very sincere desire to more fully understand the issue of civil rights for gay citizens. Ohrenstein's resignation may reflect a feeling that he can better educate the open-minded presidential contender from outside the campaign structure, rather than from within it. "It seems to all of us, and I find it to be the case so often with so many other well- intentioned persons, that John Glenn's level of understanding here is directly related to the lack of exposure he has had to the people and the issue. "As you get to know us, the myths about us, I think, begin to fall away. If Glenn can learn fast, and he appears to be willing to try, he'll still have a shot at in excess of 5 million gay votes in 1984." Harrington also stated that realistically he does not expect Glenn to progress that fast, as "he's still in the 'what causes homosexuality' stage." Harrington felt that his willingness to talk, however, may be a good example to other 'middle Americans' in reference to the gay issue. Ohrenstein's resignation is significant, however. As the New York Senate minority leader, he has influence with many key Democratic leaders. Also, New York brings to the Democratic National Convention, to be held in San Francisco in June, the second highest number of delegates after California. Walter Mondale, front-runner for the Democratic Party's nomination for President, has already stated his support for gay rights legislation "across the board." Now Hiring The STAR, your new community newspaper, is ready to begin expanding its service to the Austin and San Antonio gay communities. San Antonio Editor This is a part-time position for an experienced journalist or writer. Submit samples. Will require about 6 hours a week. Pays $200 a month. Austin/San Antonio Advertising Director This is a commissioned position but expect about $1000 a month—more when newspaper switches to weekly format. Mail resume. THE STAR 3008-A Burleson Rd„ Austin, TX 78741
File Name uhlib_783846406_n005_005_ac.jpg