2 The Star / March 23, 1984
By Helen Dish
Totally Out of Control
I simply must get out of bed sometime this
afternoon. These bars in this town are simply
destroying all concepts of self-preservation
They're so fabulous that I refuse to sit home
and watch the 10 o'clock news. Plus, no one's
going to come knocking on my doors. You
have to catch Prince Charming when he's on
horseback, and my entry way is not that big
(big—but not that big).
Part of this dreadful headache I'm nursing this
afternoon is from my hot evening over at Roomers (formerly "Cahoots"). Scotty Roberts
has really fixed the place up with NuMusik and
NuLites and it's all too much for me. I could get
addicted to the place. And if that's not enough,
I could get addicted to the men who go there.
My, god, Scotty, are you trying to kill me?
If I don't die at your place, I might die at Snuffy's- ' mean, how much champagne can a girl
drink? Let me tell you, honey, I drank gallons
at their fourth anniversary party last weekend.
Gallons' The Mustang Band was wonderful. I
had to have a fresh glass of the bubbly every-
time they struck a new tune. What was the
name of the last one, fellas?
Oh, by the way, Roger, did Prissy ever get you
that cup of coffee with your rolls?
Okay, my reputation is ruined. I was at the San
Pedro Connection last weekend and had a
marvelous time So why is my reputation
ruined? I spent most of my time there in absolute lust looking at Robert the bartender. Now
all the world knows how I am! But I'm going to
sneak back in Sunday afternoon and clean up
my act Classical music is being played from
2-5 and I will absolutely force myself to
— D —
I think I'll cut back on my booze a bit and try to
be respectable over at Our Place which is packaging some nice things for us this spring. Sunday, they're having a benefit for the Rockin R's,
and don't forget their logo contest deadline of
April 1. Call 340-1758 from 4-6 for info.
— D —
Robert, should I really ask you wnafyou were
doing on the floor at the 2015?
— a —
Well, if I can possibly stand it, I'll lay off the
booze and get in shape for the Fiesta Run '84 to
be held April 27-29. For more info on that
affair, write Box 169672, San Antonio 78280
The run will open with a Down 'n' Dirty Denim
Contest Oh, god. There's that word again:
"dirty." I'm sure to lose control again.
By Tututu Devine
Spring is So Fab
I'm just sitting up here in my lake house overlooking the beautiful blue waters of Lake Travis sipping Dom Perignon and dreaming of
that wonderful lavender silk gown I'll be wearing this evening when Joan Collins drops by
for dinner. We've been wanting to get together
ever since our little tea on the Rive Gauche, but
I just have not been able to work her into my
schedule. But now that the red bud trees are
blooming and bluebonnets are stirring up my
longings for my dearest friends, I'm sure I'll
find time to stay in town at least a few days to
White I was in Rome, Agatha, my dearest, dearest maid, said that this wonderful city of ours
has just been bursting with excitement. One
wonders why I even have a passport!
Agatha says that two new hot spots are opening which will definitely titillate our desires for
things we have never had before. One is Oz,
which conjures dreams of Emerald City, and
the other is Uncle Charlie's, which sounds like
a nice place to meet interesting people.
Thelma Houston will be opening Oz this weekend for Bltl Huber and Tom Sweeny with what
Agatha says will be a super show. Also Jimmy
James will be there. And if you haven't seen
Jimmy James, you've missed one of the
world's greatest illusionist. His Marilyn Monroe had me convinced that our beloved
Marilyn had returned from the dead. Then
she's really never died, has she?
I also understand that Austin's Megabar will be
opening Dale Owens and Randy Speights are
promising great food, great dancing, great
food, great fun, great food. Oh, excuse me.
This champagne is making me famished. Anyway, Agatha says that the boys are planning a
Coke dance for Sunday at 5pm, a wet jock-
short (heavens!) contest on Mondays and a
Rock 'n' Roll evening on Tuesdays. I'll simply
have to dress in something chic and pay them
a visit. I have just the dress in mind.
— D —
Agatha tells me that while I was surveying
Capri's delicious men, Austin has been looking at their own personal hunks at the Green
Parrot I must say that Texas has its share of
beautiful men, but I just can't believe that
they're alt at the Green Parrot I just can't
believe it, can't believe it. can't believe it. I'll see
you there this weekend. If not, I'm sure to drive
my limo by Monday through Thursday. Can
you believe that Gary has happy hour from
midnight till closing? Why, why drink alone?
Agatha tells me that Backstreet was so incredibly hot last weekend that the Fire Marshall got
alarmed. Not that any laws were being broken,
it was just the steam rising from that place.
Quite frankly, Agatha hasn't been worth a
damn this week. All she thinks about is getting
back to Backstreet Can too much of a good
thing be bad for you? And I'm not talking about
the hot dogs.
— D —
I must admit I did hit the town this week. I just
couldn't resist Dirty Sally's on St. Patrick's
Day. Now if there's anyone in town who can
possibly get the green out of my fabulous coiffure, please let me know.
Oh, my godl Agatha just told me something
about "hairy balls" every Monday at the Crossing. 1 simply won't touch that. Ask Daisy.
And what's this about Martians pulling on Ed's
ears? I seem to remember a joke I overheard
while in flight to Paris about that one I won't
repeat it here.
Okay, Tututu must let her hair down on April 6
and 7 when the Hill Country Leathermen hold
their first anniversary party at the Back Street
Basics. Just wait until you see what I picked up
in Translyvania to wear to their "Black and
Bluebonnets" fete. If you want to finally meet
me, Tony Rlhn is taking reservations through
the mail at Box 595. Manahacoy, Texas 78652.
Do try to come. My god! I start dilating just
thinking about it.
— D —
But stop this. I simply must clean up my act. I
think I'll go over to the Oasis Ministry this Sunday and try to become a better person. Their
service begins at 11 am. Expect to see my Mercedes at 7109 Highway 290 East. I'll be in Suite
C. Talk with Joy (441-9191) or Mark (834-8357)
for more inspirational inspiration. It's so nice
to have a place like the ministry to go to when
the world just gets too much for you. And it
does sometimes. Even for me.
But I mustn't let Joan know that.
Good Luck Marcial in the
: Gay San Antonio Pageant
Also, don't forget our
Sunday Brunch, noon