Title | Gay Austin, Vol. 3, No. 8, May 1979 |
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Publisher | Gay Community Services |
Date | May 1979 |
Language | English |
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Identifier | OCLC: 5962538 |
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Rights | No Copyright - United States |
Note | This item was digitized from materials loaned by the Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM). |
Title | File 010 |
Transcript | vol. 3, no. 8 Gay Austin may 1979 9 FRANK ANSWERS Editor's Note: Frank is a professional family/relation ship counselor with extensive experience in effectively handling the unique problems of gay men and lesbians. We are providing this space as a service to the lesbian and gay community of Austin. Please address all correspondence to: FRANK ANSWERS, c/o GAY AUSTIN, 2330 Guadalupe, Austin, Texas 78705. Dear Frank, My lover and I have been living together for the past three years in a mutually gratifying sexual and social relationship. The problem that has arisen is frightening to me because I don't know how to handle it. My lover has a drinking problem. He hits the bars every night and starts to drink for breakfast "to get rid of the hangover." I have stopped drinking in direct proportion to his increases. If I mention the fact that I feel his drinking is getting out of hand, he becomes very defensive and tells me to drop it. What can I do? I love this man very much and it tortures me to be so helpless. Please help me if you can. There is no other place that I can turn. — Worried Dear Worried, It is almost always a mistake for family and friends to focus their concern on a loved one's "drinking too much." Usually this will result only in recurrent arguments over how much is too much, while the problem gets worse. The fact is, an alcohol problem is not just a question of the amount of consumption, but is instead a complex socio-emotional issue that can best be dealt with by an unbiased professional. In order for you to deal at all effectively with the problem, you will need to focus not on the drinking itself, but on the problems it creates in your relationship. You do not mention these problems in your letter, but my background in this area tells me they do exist. Right now there may be only the occasional arguments over his drinking episodes, but progressive dependence upon alcohol results in a decreasing ability to cope with the demands of daily living. If this is what is happening to your lover, then the effects will soon show up in the way you two get along. If and when your lover's drinking does seriously interfere with your relationship, then your best tactic for getting him to professional help will involve convincing him of this fact. JtitR PJiRK 322 East 6th Sir* 474-9351 A Private Club for Gentlemen over 18 Open 11 a.m. • Sunday Noor COMING ATTRACTIONS MAY 4,1979 HOUSE DETECT VE MONDO NEXUS FRENCHMEN POOL ENCOUNTERS LONG JOHNS CREME DE BANANAS Thursday Buddy Day Discounts for Students and Military Let me say further, though, that there could be a number of reasons for a rapid increase in an individual's alcohol consumption, and that not all of these reasons are cause for serious concern. If your lover only recently began drinking, or has only recently been free to drink as much as he wants to, he may only be experimenting with the new and exciting experience of an alcohol "high." In this case he will most likely adjust his consumption downward after the novelty wears off and after he has experienced a few hangovers. You have more serious cause for concern if your lover's drinking appears to be his way of coping with emotional problems such as depression, or if he regularly drinks alqne. Any of the following may also be a warning sign that a more serious problem is developing. 1. Gulping or sneaking drinks because of shame over the amount consumed. 2. Decreasing ability to decide when to drink, with consequent drinking at "inappropriate" times. 3. Periods of consciousness while drinking which totally disappear from the memory (blackouts). 4. Hangovers involving severe physical and/or mental pain. Professional help for an alcohol problem is available from a variety of sources, although many of these are quite expensive. Low cost services are available to UT students through the Coun- seling-Psychological Services Center, and to other Travis County residents through the Mental Health-Mental Retardation Center of Travis County. Similar services are available through the MHMR system in most areas of Texas. — Frank Continued on page 14 Hff^H T WwR BIRTHDAY PARTY & COSTUME BALL Live Stage Review COSTUME CONTEST Cash Prizes Tickets on sale at all PRESIDIO THEATERS Friday Tickets at the PARAMOUNT Saturday 10:00 a.m. til 8:00 p.m. |
File Name | uhlib_5962538_v003_n008_009_ac.jpg |