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The Star, No. 4, December 23, 1983
File 008
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The Star, No. 4, December 23, 1983 - File 008. 1983-12-23. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. July 11, 2020. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/gcam/item/1078/show/1072.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(1983-12-23). The Star, No. 4, December 23, 1983 - File 008. Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM) Digital Archive. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/gcam/item/1078/show/1072

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Star, No. 4, December 23, 1983 - File 008, 1983-12-23, Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM) Digital Archive, University of Houston Libraries, accessed July 11, 2020, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/gcam/item/1078/show/1072.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Star, No. 4, December 23, 1983
Contributor
  • Martinez, Ed
Date December 23, 1983
Language English
Subject
  • LGBTQ community
  • LGBTQ people
Place
  • Austin, Texas
  • San Antonio, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier OCLC: 783846406
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • LGBT Research Collection
  • Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM) Digital Archive
Rights No Copyright - United States
Note This item was digitized from materials loaned by the Gulf Coast Archive and Museum (GCAM).
Item Description
Title File 008
Transcript Love is in the Air By David Meunier "This is your head flight attendant Trudy speaking. We haue an emergency. I repeat: We have an emergency. One of our stewards has lost his gold neck chain!" It was every airline passenger's nightmare—cruising at 37,000 feet when all of a sudden disaster strikes! If you think cruising on the ground is tough, you should try it at this altitude. Piercing earaches because of fluctuating air pressure makes conversation almost impossible, not to mention airline meals which cause nausea. Plus, there's little privacy trying to shout across a retired school teacher from Ohio or winking at the object of your desire only to have him turn away for you to confront the cold stare of a businessman from Des Moines. Wait a minute! Let's backtrack to how this whole mess started. I was on my way home to Texas after a wonderful vacation in Key West. Originally, I had decided to take the bus to the airport in Miami, but at the last minute a group of my friends had chipped in the difference so that I could fly. As Amy said, "Buses are so tacky, and they don't serve cocktails!" How could I refuse? I had my apprehensions about using Air Sunshine—Air-Sometimes, as the locals quaintly referred to it. But my mind was quickly put at ease when I learned it would be the popular Tea Dance flight, so named because it leaves Sunday at 8:15 p.m., right after the biggest Tea Dance op Key West as La-Te-Da's is ending. You could still catch last minute sun, dance and drink and gather a few more addresses. It was a frantic scene at the airport, as cars screeched in at breakneck speeds depositing disoriented and inebriated passengers at the last minute. I eyed the plane nervously. It wasn't even a jet. It was one of those two-engine prop numbers which had probably last seen service in World War II. The stewardess at the door looked like she was from the same era. It did not bolster my confi dence. Once inside the plane, I was distracted from my misgivings by the frivolity of the crowd. It looked like it was going to be a fun flight. What Air Sunshine lacked in opulence was more than made up for in special features other airlines did not offer. Even though it was a small plane, it had two male flight attendants to meet our every need. They made a nice addition to Trudy, who turned out to be one campy old broad. Clint and Clark both had marvelous tans and looked stunning in their airline uniforms of navy blue tank tops and kelly green running shorts. Those bright and bold colors somehow didn't look as good on Trudy, but her constant mugging of Mae West made you love her never the less. I have always felt that airports and airplanes are such romantic places. I was hopeful that somewhere among the crowd Mr. Right would be seated. About three fourths of the passengers were gay. The rest didn't seem to mind. I waited with great anticipation for my seatmate to arrive. Would it be the hot number in the violet Polo shirt? Perhaps that hunky blonde still wearing just his Speedo bathing suit? Unfortunately, it was neither. George was a middle-aged, heavy-set funeral home director from Dania. He immediately engaged me in conversation. "How far do you go?" he asked suggestively. "Only to Miami. Then I m transferring to Pam Am for Houston," I replied curtly. "What a shame. How long is your lay over?" He leered. I didn't like the way he put emphasis on lay. "Only 15 minutes," I lied. As I was pushing his hand off my knee for the third time, Trudy arrived to inform us that .Air Sunshine provided free cocktails. What a nice gesture, I thought. "It's to get your mind off this old wreck you're flying in," she roared. "Would it be possible to change seats?" I inquired. "Flying in the back always makes me airsick, and I wouldn't want to puke all over George here." "I'll see what I can do, hon," she promised. George, in the meantime, was leaning halfway out into the aisle, giving me apprehensive looks. At least if I could bein Clark or Clint's section, the flight would be tolerable. Soon I was up front Beated next to Lucy, a retired school teacher from Ohio. But at least I had an aisle seat. Just as I was establishing a rapport with Clint, the unthinkable happened. Trudy's voice crackled over the intercom: "This is an emergency. I repeat, an emergency. One of our flight attendants- Clark—has lost his gold neck chain!" Total chaos erupted. Screaming queens ran up and down the aisle. It was horrible! How could this be happening only 10 minutes from Miami! A Gary Larson cartoon flashed in my mind—Fifi, the french poodle, saves the day by taking over the controls of a plunging airliner. But there was no french poodle on board! We were doomed! I knew I had to act quickly. If I could find Clark's neck chain, I could restore order. Plus, the hunk would be indebted to me for life. Everyone was searching frantically—even the pilot. (What was the pilot doing back here?) Clint led us in show tunes, while Trudy did Ethel Merman impressions. Then, like a miracle, I spotted it lying near one ofthe Johns. A hugh DEC. 23, 1983 / The Star 7 Commentary cheer arose as I announced my find. Clark ran towards me. At last—love was in the air! As we embraced, I felt the plane dropping. "Oh, my God!" I screamed. "We're losing altitude!" "Of course," smiled Clark. "We're landing in Miami!" The restroom door sprung open, and we fell in. On the ground, as Trudy gave an interview to the assembled reporters, Clark and I had a passionate restroom romance. Later, .Amy called to ask how my flight went. "Remember Erica Jong's book, Fear of Flying, that you promised to loan me?" I said. "Well, I won't he needing it."
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