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The Wand, Vol. 8, No. 12, December 1991
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The Wand, Vol. 8, No. 12, December 1991 - Page 9. December 1991. Special Collections, University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. September 21, 2021. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/feminist/item/2762/show/2757.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(December 1991). The Wand, Vol. 8, No. 12, December 1991 - Page 9. Houston and Texas Feminist and Lesbian Newsletters. Special Collections, University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/feminist/item/2762/show/2757

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Wand, Vol. 8, No. 12, December 1991 - Page 9, December 1991, Houston and Texas Feminist and Lesbian Newsletters, Special Collections, University of Houston Libraries, accessed September 21, 2021, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/feminist/item/2762/show/2757.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Wand, Vol. 8, No. 12, December 1991
Publisher Womynspace
Date December 1991
Subject.Topical (LCSH)
  • Women--Texas--Houston--Periodicals
  • Feminists--Texas--Houston--Periodicals
  • Lesbians--Texas--Houston--Periodicals
Genre (AAT)
  • periodicals
Language English
Type (DCMI)
  • Text
  • Image
Original Item Location HQ1101 .W35
Original Item URL http://library.uh.edu/record=b3634790~S11
Digital Collection Houston and Texas Feminist and Lesbian Newsletters
Digital Collection URL http://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/feminist
Repository Special Collections, University of Houston Libraries
Repository URL http://info.lib.uh.edu/about/campus-libraries-collections/special-collections
Use and Reproduction Educational use only, no other permissions given. Copyright to this resource is held by the content creator, author, artist or other entity, and is provided here for educational purposes only. It may not be reproduced or distributed in any format without written permission of the copyright owner. For more information please see UH Digital Library Fair Use policy on the UH Digital Library About page.
Note On some pages, comic strips have been digitally obscured to protect owner's copyright.
Item Description
Title Page 9
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  • image/jpeg
File Name femin_201109_459i.jpg
Transcript _Z><=> ~H TS3TC^ -3t-_HT_5: Around this time of the year, family relationships loom large on one's emotional horizon. For lesbians and gay men, going home for the holidays can mean coming-out decisions, holding one's breath while one's lover and dysfunctional family meet for the first time, and answering curious children's questions about who sleeps where, and why. At Inklings Bookshop, we get lots of questions about family relationships. Fortunately, the materials to choose from are significantly better than even a few years ago. I have compiled here a small sampling of what is available. For women just coming out, we recommend The Original Coming Out Stories ($10.95), JoAnn Loulan's Lesbian Sex (12.95) and Lesbian Passion (11.95), among others. If you've been lesbian or gay for a while, Coming Out: An Act of Love ($10.95) can help you understand the dynamics of coming out in numerous situations, including family and work. For telling one's parents, we recommend Now That You Know: What Every Parent Should Know about Homosexuality ($8.95), and Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Wav Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gav Men and their Parents (9.95). Also, for mothers especially, 25 different mothers of lesbians tell their stories in Different Daughters ($9.95). If your parents are in the moderately uncomfortable/moderately accepting zone (e.g., they know but they don't talk about it; they know but they never mention your lover's name), I highly recommend a cassette put out by PFLAG called Accepting Your Gay or Lesbian Child ($9.95). Five sets of seemingly-average parents tell their stories, but the growth, insight and acceptance they demonstrate are nothing short of remarkable. Frequently, a woman comes to into Inklings who is struggling with lesbian feelings, but is married to a man. In the midst of the excite- ment/confusion/disorientation of the person who is coming out, the person who is not often feels left behind/ confused/disoriented. Hundreds of heterosexual spouses were interviewed for The Other Side of the Closet ($14.95), and this is the only book to address their feelings. .TNG t:*-*:-^: If you are a parent, telling your kids can be complicated by a number of factors, including their age and possible child custody factors. There are two books to help: The Final Closet: A Gay Parent's Guide ($8.95) and There's Something I've Been Meaning to Tell You ($9.95). In just the last few months, a number of books have been published for kids of lesbian/gay parents. Two of my favorites are The Duke Who Outlawed Jelly Beans ($12.95) and How Would You Feel If Your Dad Was Gay? ($9.95), both from Alyson Publications. The Duke... is a Trie (Diife "Who OutlawedJetty "Beans STORIES BY JOHNNY VALENTINE; ART BY LYNETTE SCHMIDT lavishly illustrated series of stories with dukes, ogres, and dragons. These stories flow with adventure, and the kids--including girls--get to be heroes. Their parents, some of whom come in same- sex sets, stay out of the way. I think this would be a great gift for your kids, nieces, or nephews, up to about age 8 or 9. . .or for your favorite library. The other kids' book, How Would You Feel If Your Dad Was Gay?, hones in on some of the real issues for the school-age child--for instance, acceptance from the other, kids, and how to decide how much to disclose about one's family. It could be a good jumping-off point for family discussion. It's wonderful that all these books are finally available. Maybe they will contribute in some way to the strenthening of real families, whether they are families of birth or chosen families. Pokey Anderson is co-owner of Inklings - an alternative bookshop. HAPPY HOLIDAYS! SO WHY AREN'T I? by Joyce M. Gayles, PhD If you experience a lot of stress during the holidays, you're not alone. Many people experience significant stress -from Thanksgiving through the New Year months. Your feelings during the holidays may range from mildly "stressed out" to feelings of deep depression and unhappiness. There are several reasons why you may struggle through the holidays. The milder problems can be anything from money worries to handling increased social activity as the result of party invitations from friends and colleagues. More serious problems around the holidays can be traced back as far as childhood. learning how, or rather how not to celebfate is a key to coping with mild stress during the holiday season. There are many different aspects to the holidays, and you can choose to honor the particular aspects that are meaningful for you, even if that means none of it! To avoid stressful situations, do some planning. Set realistic goals. Be selective about what you do. For example, if you are into buying gifts, decide what you can afford to spend oefore you start shopping. I.O.U.'s for favors, chores, or dinners make wonderful gifts for the friends in your life. It's even okay if you decide to not do any gift-giving! If food and/or alcohol are a problem for you, you may want to limit the number of parties you attend. And don't plan to give holiday parties unless you really love to entertain this way. If you find yourself not just stressed out, but actually depressed during the holidays, your depression is probably due to one or more of the following reasons: First of all, you may have a problem with the external clock affecting your internal clock or what is known as "seasonal depression." Scientific research indicates that for some people prolonged darkness affects body chemistry and mental state. Second, you may experience what is called "holiday (or anniversary) grief." There may be sadness that comes from chilhood memories of trauma or from deeply felt longings for a childhood you never had. Or perhaps the holidays remind you of someone special in your life who died. Whether it was one year ago or twenty years ago, the holiday season has a way of bringing back memories. Feelings such as these manifest themselves during this time of year because the season traditionally focuses so strongly on family and home life. Third, loneliness may be a major factor leading to your depression. You may be feeling the lack of a social network of friends or a lack of attachment to another that provides a sense of safety annd security. If you fall into one of these categories, there are some positive steps you can take to help yourself cope with the holidays: *If you're feeling confined by the darkness, then make arrangements to do things during the day. Take a day or a half day off and people- watch at the park. Or drive to the beach. #Fill your life and your physical space with things you enjoy. A bright bouquet of flowers. Pleasant aromas. Have a cup of hot chocolate or a warm bath. #ff you know that certain experiences or situations depress you, then make plans to avoid or limit them. For example, if visiting family is problematic, shorten the time you spend with them. See HOLIDAYS on Page 11