the rules you know."
"Oh please Angel Elizabeth,"
"Ok. But just a little tiny bit.
Athlete dust is getting to be more and
more in demand lately."
Happily Amelia and Radclyffe ran
off to get the dust.
"These young women nowadays, I just
don't know what this heaven's coming
to," said the Angel Joan D'Arc. "But
come on, let's go over to my room. I've
got some swords to polish and we can
watch the Ducks from there."
Just what I've been wanting" to do
all day, I thought.
Radclyffe joined us at Saint
Joan D'Arc's and we turned on the
scanner. The Ducks were beginning a
second game and for a few innings it
looked like a repeat of the previous
game. But, just when things were looking
bad for them, the figure of Angel
Amelia appeared over the ball field.
"Oh, there she is," shouted
Radclyffe. "But what's that she's
carrying? It looks like a big paper
"Oh no, I hope'it's not athlete
dust. A bag full that size would be eno
enough to make every one of them
Olympic Champions in every sport for
It wasn't athlete dust though,
because we soon saw Amelia flying
over the Duck bench, dropping little
bits of athlete dust from a small pouch
she had in her pocket. Her job done,
she disappeared from the viewing screen.
Then the Ducks got up to bat and
it was a glorious sight to behold. They
hit everywhere and their fielding was
flawless. The transformation was
almost unbelievable even though we had
expected it. As we watched the game
Amelia flew back into the room,
triumphantly carrying a huge paper bag.
"Guess what I've got? BEER! I stopped ata U-Rob-Em and picked up a case.
Perfect for watching a ball game."
"But Amelia," wailed Angel Saint
Joan D'Arc. "You know you're not
supposed to bring anything into heaven
from earth, especially not beer!"
"Heck, you only go around once in
heaven, Antjel Joan. Grab a little
qusto, live a little. Pretty catchy
"What? What are you saying? I
don't know what you're-talking about!"
"It doesn't matter," I told Saint
Joan. "Come on, let's watch the Ducks."
The Ducks easily won that game and
in their next game they were just as
impressive, thoroughly trouncing their
opponents. The room rang with our
"Way to go Ducks, way to throw
that ball , Radical."
"Hit em again, harder, harder."
"Wrong game. Saint Joan."1
"Whoops, ok, sock it to em."
And in such a vain we spent a
happy afternoon, drinking beer, polishing swords (for Saint Joan has a largo
supply in case God ever sends her down
to earth again) and cheering for the
Ducks who had already cinched third
place and seemed to be well on their way
to winning the tournament. They had
only two more games to win when suddenly the voice of GOD boomed into the
room! "Just what in heaven's name is
going on in here? Angel Saint Joan
D'Arc, T've never seen you so disarrayed." (Saint Joan had appropriated
Amelia"s helmet and v/as wearing it
rakishly tilted over one eye.)
"Radclyffe and Amelia, you seem to be
drunk! And you Elizabeth Cady Stanton,
I'm ashamed of you. Have you already
forgotten the WCTU? Come to my office
at once! And bring that beer with you-
if there's any left that is!"
It took us quite a while to explain to God exactly what had happened,
what with Amelia's six return trips to
earth for beer and all. (It turns out
that God has a hollow len.) And wc lost
touch with the ducks while all of this
was going on. It was Saint Joan who
reminded us of them.
"Schurn on the s-s-scanner, I v/hant
to shee whasts happen to my Ducks.1
"Oh my gosh, we've forgotten all
about them!" Radclyffe rushed to the
scanner but when we turned it on the
Ducks were nowhere to be seen.