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The Cougar, Vol. 4, No. 10, April 10, 1931
File 002
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The Cougar, Vol. 4, No. 10, April 10, 1931 - File 002. April 10, 1931. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. May 28, 2020. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/94/show/91.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(April 10, 1931). The Cougar, Vol. 4, No. 10, April 10, 1931 - File 002. Daily Cougar. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/94/show/91

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Cougar, Vol. 4, No. 10, April 10, 1931 - File 002, April 10, 1931, Daily Cougar, University of Houston Libraries, accessed May 28, 2020, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/94/show/91.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Cougar, Vol. 4, No. 10, April 10, 1931
Alternative Title The Cougar, Vol. IV, No. 10, April 10, 1931
Contributor
  • Kendall, Everett
Date April 10, 1931
Language English
Description From masthead: "The Cougar of The Houston Junior College, Houston, Texas. Established 1928."
Subject
  • College student newspapers and periodicals
  • University of Houston
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier LH1.H6 C6; OCLC: 10270243
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • University of Houston Archives
Rights In Copyright - Copyright Owner Unlocatable or Unidentifiable
Item Description
Title File 002
Transcript THE COUGAR The Cougar Of The Houston Junior College, Houston, Texas Established 1928 Published semi-monthly during the college year. Subscription, $1.00 per year. Single copies, 10 cents. EDITORIAL BOARD Editor-in-Chief . Everett Kendall Associate Editor Walter Garrett * Associate Editor Kenneth Phillips Associate Editor Margaret Shell Faculty Advisor F. R. Birney Department Editors Society . Maurine Edminstei Sports—Men Milton Moffitt ..Jane Witherspoon Frances Baty Activity Exchange . Feature _ Ethel Mercer Reporters ChapeH Freeman Pauline Ault Beatrice Hamilton Lois Harrison Mont ford Inman A. C. Irwin Fay Laurence Ethel Mercer Rubye Tunnell Llewellyn Ross Prances Baty Opal Beane Lucille Cafcalas Evelyn Cochran Welton Cohen Gordon Davis Ruth Dermody Lois Duff Just Talk The Speaker's Error Just Talk is pleased to print a con tribution by our fellow-student, Har. old Wood, M.S.D. (Master Soda Dispenser), who takes this chance to de fend his honorable profession: The speaker's voice emerged from a conversational pitch to a shout; sweat broke out in beads on his forehead as he haphazardly waved his arms, shrieking and yelling. The rafters of the huge and packed auditorium echoed with the advisory words, "On to school—get your education now before it's too late—don't be a failure in this great battle with life—don't content yourself., with being good-for-nothing, ignorant, aimless, _ ' Boda-jerker—Don't- H'fJ/Ve WUn I Rage had overcon,e rae- X "nhesi- WilU J TV tlU I tantly arose and made for the nearest Houston Junior College is interested' exit l had been P«°licly insulted. My in Houston as it is its home town, and \ occupation had been disgracefully in being interested in Houston we are! sla™*ered by a so-called educational naturally interested in the leading citizens. Houston is able to boast of the large number of sixty-four of its citizens whose names appear in "Who's Who In America" for 1930-31. The standards of admission to "Who's Who In America" divide the eligibles into two classes: (1) those who are selected on account of special prominence in creditable lives of effort, making them the ^subjects of extensive interest, inquiry aiscWSsipn in this country; and (2) those who are~"arlHtL3rilv_ included on account of official position—civil, rmTi- tary, naval, religious, or educational. Among these sixty-four prominent Houston citizens are names of bankers, lawyers, poets, farmers, oil executives, business men, professors and many Other professions. Edgar C. H. Soule, husband of one of Junior College's own teachers, Mrs. Soule, teacher of French and Spanish and also sponsor of the Honorary Society, is in this list of distinguished men. Mr. Soule's profession is that of a lawyer. ACTIVITIES Oratory seems to be flowing nicely at H. J. C. Two students went to Te huacanij and won second places in both boys' and girls' oration contests. When the Cougar comes out, our halls will be echoing to news of the debates with Westminster Junior college. One of the contests will be over, but the other will start at 9:30. A large crowd should invade the music mom to give the orators moral support. Aside from sport activities, extr curricuiar work at our school has beei sadly lacking. The reasons are evident to all. But one unfathomable secret is the reason for failure of students to back activities. It seems to the Cougar that pride for the alma mater would repudiate such negligence. Show a little interest and visit the scene of verbal combat Friday night. Coach Harvey W. Harris has promised that "Junior College students will see some real debating In the auditorium on Wednesday, April 15." He has a friendly grudge against South Park Junior College, saved over from last year. Here's to Jo Ed Winfree and Christine Fitzgerald for their good work in winning second places in the oration contests at Westminster Junior college recently. *B*ack work and baseball practice seem to be coming along smoothly now. Although most of the engagements will be practice meets, the teams deserve a glad hand and good wishes. What's more to the point, they need a live rooting squad to cheer them on. The Cougar needs some live news leader who wouldn't know the first few steps to take were he asked to dispense a lime phosphate. But our vast clan of sodajerkers has always been, and it seems to be fated that it always will be, the group to be so wantonly affronted, so insolently treated, so disrespected, and so abused. To the vast public we are but a tribe of impertinent, unmannerly, rude, saucy, impudent, and corrupt reprobates. Apparently, we embody but two advantages to the men and women of the nation. One is that we are pointed out by the fathers and mothers to show TITftW?. Tfloyy what they don't want him to be when he gYows~"up "ana star's1 to work. I, alone, during my eight years behind the fountain, feel like I have been an influencing factor starting numerous young men down the road to success and happiness. In regard to the second advantage spoken of in the preceding paragraph, I would like to ask a few simple questions. Who would furnish that "bite to eat at 10, 2, and 4," were it not for the soda jerkers? Who would put new vigor into the tired business man witl those sparkling and delicious refreshments, did not the soda dispenser exist? Where would people go to ask where such-and-such a street is, where Mr. Jones is living now, what the score of today's ball game was if the soda profession was wiped out of existence? Who would furnish pedestrians with matches, ice water, conversation and information if we were not at all times at the disposal of our vast public? Still people insult us, condemn us, walk on us, and talk all they can about us. That is, they do to our backs, but across the soda-fountain they smile as sweetly as possible, hoping they cat get a little more whipped cream dumped on top of their ice-cream soda And that's just why I always comply with as little as possible. Literary Forum How about some mean real, live from the Pep Club, activity, girls? We e wish Gordon Jones, Phil Ham- berger, Lucille Cafcalas, and Elizabeth Sinclair the best of luck. On the other hand, we refuse to wish our visitors any bad luck. A new rival of Judd Mortimer Lewis has been discovered roaming the halls of H. J. C. Her style is every bit as good as that of the famous poet—at least, in the following limerick: A boy who had once been a jockey Decided that he'd play some hockey; But he soon changed his mind When he once came to find That the ice was both bumpy and rockey. —G. Pledgi When she was feeling blue, Miss Pledge also wrote the following poem: TRY SMILIN' If somethin' happens to make you Try smilm' just a little. Change your mind if you think you're down. Try smiiin' just a little. It's not the fellow who frowns the Who gets the best results, He'll soon find out that a smile Will save a lot of fuss. So brace your shoulders and grit your teeth, Try smiiin' just a little. You'll soon find out that you're on your feet, Try smiiin' just a little. Don't look for trouble that isn't near— You'll find it twice as bitter; Just wait until you know it's here, and Try smiiin' fust a little. —G. Pledge. This is our view of the situations- Here's to you, Miss Pledge: May your poems never cease, For it's no sacrilege To send us all these. Want an anjid.qyg'"for *an "unrequited love, oTj^ifpam in the neck, or a de- GRINS and GROANS ego? Or maybe you're suffering from just a plain grouch. Anyway, whatever your trouble, a hearty laugh ought to help your feelings. And here's a guaranteed producer of a lot of real blues-chasing laughs if you had a sense (of humor to start with; if not, you're hopeless, anyway): It's a recently published volume of verse, "Hard Lines," by Ogden Nash. Don't jeer, and don't look bored—it isn't poetry. It wasn't even intended for poetry. But for. sheer, cleverness and unadulterated fun, it can't be beat. Without doubt, a number of Junior College students have already adopted this motto: t"Why did the Lord give us agility If not to evade responsibility?" While we do not endorse this one— it's very effective: "A good way to forget today's sorrows Is by thinking hard about tomorrows.' Here's a new angle on the unemploy ment situation: "Possibly the greatest labor-saving device in the history of the nation Is the present administration." Most Junior College boys witl agree with these lines: "A girl whose cheeks are covered with paint Has an advantage with me over one whose ain't." And many of us might be more eagerly welcomed if we heeded the moral in this little observation: "Probably a good deal of supercilious- la based on biliousness, For somehow people seem to be proud as peacocks Of any infirmity, be it hives or dementia praecox." MANY NEW BOOKS— (Continued from Page 1) Medieval History" in five volumes. This is of value to the advanced English students as- well as those taking History. For modern History there is The Constitution and What It Means Today," by Corwin. We now have our first copy of "Who's Who." This gives a list of all of the prominent men and women with their names and present addresses as well as their present occupations. Lady: "I must go. I have to meet Other books received were: "Nature my husband at 5 o'clock." and Meaning of Teaching," by Strebel Hostess: "It is now 6 o'clock." and Morehart; "Chemistry and Food Lady (sitting down again): "Ah, then Nutrition," by Sherman; "Organic] I still have half an hour." Chemistry (revised edition) by Conat; and "Practical Methods of Organic Chemistry," by Gattermann. To bring further suffering to the poor benighted math students there is a copy of Fundamentals of High School Mathematics," by Rugby-Clark. Most of thei-e books have been ordered at the request of students and professors and are being unpacked, indexed, and put on the shelves as rapidly as possible^ There are seven ages of man, and two of woman. One is her right one. Fay'Gene Laurence says: "Speaking of flappers reminds me of girls who, when they were good they were very, vary good, but when they were bad they were hurrahed. No, Mary, a neckerchief is not necessarily the president of the Sop ho- ore Class. Virgil P.: "You sister is spoiled, isn't she?" Maurine E.: "No, that's the kind of perfume she uses." "Hey, don't spit on the floor' Jo Ed W.: "What's the matter, does the floor leak?" Book Agent: ''I wonder if I can't se< your mother? Is she engaged?" Lucille C: "Heck, no, she's marled." Jack Thurman: "Say, Lou, what does I mean when they say, 'they rent their clothes'?" Lou__BukQatskA-''OV*, •*-Suppose finej couldn't afford to buy them." Johnny R.: "Nora, what would you do if I asked you to marry me? N. L. C: "Nothing, I can't talk and laugh at the same time." Where art thou going, my pretty maid? To milk a cow, sir, she said. In that pretty dress, my maid? No, in the bucket, sir, she said. Little dabs of powder, Little dabs of paint Make Magda Sohle's freckles Appear as if they ain't. "Doc" Addison: "Do you walk home from rides?" Frances Willard: "No, I ride home from walks." 'You drunken beast! If I were in, your condition, I'd shoot myself," "Lady, if you wush in my condition, you'd mish yourself." Maurine: "Terry said he'd kiss me or die in the attempt" Gladys: "Gracious! and did you let him?" Maurine: "You haven't seen any funeral notices, have you?" Gordon Jones: "Waiter, what on earth is this concoction?" Waiter: "Why, that's bean soup, sir." G. J.: "Never mind what it's been! What is it now?" Warren Lemmon (angrily): "Do you believe every fool tells you?" Phyllis Workman: "Oh, no darling. But sometimes you do sound plaus- 'ble." Charlie W.: "Last night I dreamed you loved me. What does that mean?" Mildred L.: "That you were dream- Someone has said that the reason they say 'amen' instead of 'awoman' is because they sing hymns and not hers. 'Do your hens sit or set?" asked the summer tourist of the farmer's 'm not concerned with that," said she," when the hens cackle what I want to know is, are they laying or lying." Politics and love go hand in hand; two opposing parties, the one trying to overwhelm the other. Albert K.: "Nobody ever made a fool of me." Gladys J.: "Who did, then?" Kate M.: "Your car is at the door." Jane W.: "Yes, I heap- it knocking." Nurse: "Good morning; I'm the new Grouchy Patient: "Are you a trained nurse?" Nurse: "Yes, of course I'm a trained G. P.: "Then do some tricks." Some people are so slow it is doubtful if they ever fall fast asleep. Census Taker: "What is your husband's name?" Mrs. Murphy: "Pat." C. T.: "I want his full name." Mrs. M.: "When he's full he thinkrt he's Gene Tunney." Mary Lennox says some girls let a fool kiss them, And others let a kiss fool them. Old Gent: 'Why does your dog scratch so much, sonny?" Sonny: " 'Cause he's the only one that knows where it itches." VTisitor in Insane Ward: "Is that clock right?" Patient in Insane Ward: "If it was right it wouldn't be here." Officer: "What's the idea, going 70 iles an hour?" Wayne Livergood: "You see, officer, I have bad brakes on my ear. I'm try- ng to get home before I have an accident." Kind-hearted Lady (to student under pile of wreckage'; ;■ "Have an accident, young man?" Student: "No thanks, I just had one." His Mistake Two gentlemen were driving home from a party. The party had been more than ordinarily convivial. "Bill," said Henry, "I wancha be ver' careful. Firs' thing ya know we'll be in a ditch." "Me?" said Bill, astonished, "I thought you wuz driving." Mary had a iittle lamb, Given by a friend to keep; It followed her around until— It died from loss of sleep. As Bum to Bum "I walked a mile and a half for that Camel—I thought the guy would never throw it away." 'Have you heard about the meanest man in the world?" "Yea, he throws chewing gum in the streets for Austins to get stuck on." Passenger (in elevator): "Fourth floor, please." Operator: "Here you are, son." Passenger: "How dare you call me son, you're not my father," Operator: "Well, 1 brought you up." And then, of course, there's the musical carpenter. He plays the tuba four. First Nut: "Have yuh gotta match?" Second College Boy: "Have I? Say, I've got, matches to burn." Famous Sayings "This sours me against the world," said the cucumber as it was dipped into the brine. The difference in effect of the stuff Rip drank and what some people drink is that Rip woke up. Answer That Wife (at head of stairs, 2 a.m.): "Is that you, John?" John (ominously): "Who were you expecting?" Up to the Guide First Drunk: "Shay, quit follering Second Drunk: "I can't. I'm going shame place you are." First; "Where?" Second: "I dunno, Thash why I am follering you."
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