Of The Houston Junior College,
Published semi-monthly during the
college year. Subscription, $1.00 per
year. Single copies, 10 cents.
Editor-in-Chief . Everett Kendall
Associate Editor Walter Garrett
* Associate Editor Kenneth Phillips
Associate Editor Margaret Shell
Faculty Advisor F. R. Birney
Society . Maurine Edminstei
Sports—Men Milton Moffitt
Feature _ Ethel Mercer
ChapeH Freeman Pauline Ault
Mont ford Inman
A. C. Irwin
The Speaker's Error
Just Talk is pleased to print a con
tribution by our fellow-student, Har.
old Wood, M.S.D. (Master Soda Dispenser), who takes this chance to de
fend his honorable profession:
The speaker's voice emerged from a
conversational pitch to a shout; sweat
broke out in beads on his forehead as
he haphazardly waved his arms,
shrieking and yelling.
The rafters of the huge and packed
auditorium echoed with the advisory
words, "On to school—get your education now before it's too late—don't
be a failure in this great battle with
life—don't content yourself., with being
good-for-nothing, ignorant, aimless,
_ ' Boda-jerker—Don't-
H'fJ/Ve WUn I Rage had overcon,e rae- X "nhesi-
WilU J TV tlU I tantly arose and made for the nearest
Houston Junior College is interested' exit l had been P«°licly insulted. My
in Houston as it is its home town, and \ occupation had been disgracefully
in being interested in Houston we are! sla™*ered by a so-called educational
naturally interested in the leading
Houston is able to boast of the large
number of sixty-four of its citizens
whose names appear in "Who's Who In
America" for 1930-31. The standards
of admission to "Who's Who In America" divide the eligibles into two
classes: (1) those who are selected on
account of special prominence in creditable lives of effort, making them the
^subjects of extensive interest, inquiry
aiscWSsipn in this country; and (2)
those who are~"arlHtL3rilv_ included on
account of official position—civil, rmTi-
tary, naval, religious, or educational.
Among these sixty-four prominent
Houston citizens are names of bankers,
lawyers, poets, farmers, oil executives,
business men, professors and many
Edgar C. H. Soule, husband of one of
Junior College's own teachers, Mrs.
Soule, teacher of French and Spanish
and also sponsor of the Honorary Society, is in this list of distinguished
men. Mr. Soule's profession is that of
Oratory seems to be flowing nicely
at H. J. C. Two students went to Te
huacanij and won second places in both
boys' and girls' oration contests.
When the Cougar comes out, our
halls will be echoing to news of the
debates with Westminster Junior college.
One of the contests will be over, but
the other will start at 9:30. A large
crowd should invade the music mom
to give the orators moral support.
Aside from sport activities, extr
curricuiar work at our school has beei
sadly lacking. The reasons are evident
But one unfathomable secret is the
reason for failure of students to back
activities. It seems to the Cougar that
pride for the alma mater would repudiate such negligence.
Show a little interest and visit the
scene of verbal combat Friday night.
Coach Harvey W. Harris has promised that "Junior College students will
see some real debating In the auditorium on Wednesday, April 15." He has
a friendly grudge against South Park
Junior College, saved over from last
Here's to Jo Ed Winfree and Christine Fitzgerald for their good work in
winning second places in the oration
contests at Westminster Junior college
*B*ack work and baseball practice
seem to be coming along smoothly now.
Although most of the engagements will
be practice meets, the teams deserve
a glad hand and good wishes. What's
more to the point, they need a live
rooting squad to cheer them on.
The Cougar needs some live news
leader who wouldn't know the first
few steps to take were he asked to dispense a lime phosphate.
But our vast clan of sodajerkers has
always been, and it seems to be fated
that it always will be, the group to be
so wantonly affronted, so insolently
treated, so disrespected, and so abused.
To the vast public we are but a tribe of
impertinent, unmannerly, rude, saucy,
impudent, and corrupt reprobates.
Apparently, we embody but two advantages to the men and women of the
nation. One is that we are pointed out
by the fathers and mothers to show
TITftW?. Tfloyy what they don't want him
to be when he gYows~"up "ana star's1
to work. I, alone, during my eight
years behind the fountain, feel like I
have been an influencing factor
starting numerous young men down
the road to success and happiness.
In regard to the second advantage
spoken of in the preceding paragraph,
I would like to ask a few simple questions. Who would furnish that "bite
to eat at 10, 2, and 4," were it not for
the soda jerkers? Who would put new
vigor into the tired business man witl
those sparkling and delicious refreshments, did not the soda dispenser exist? Where would people go to ask
where such-and-such a street is,
where Mr. Jones is living now,
what the score of today's ball game
was if the soda profession was wiped
out of existence? Who would furnish
pedestrians with matches, ice water,
conversation and information if we
were not at all times at the disposal
of our vast public?
Still people insult us, condemn us,
walk on us, and talk all they can about
us. That is, they do to our backs, but
across the soda-fountain they smile as
sweetly as possible, hoping they cat
get a little more whipped cream dumped on top of their ice-cream soda
And that's just why I always comply
with as little as possible.
How about some
mean real, live
from the Pep Club,
activity, girls? We
e wish Gordon Jones, Phil Ham-
berger, Lucille Cafcalas, and Elizabeth
Sinclair the best of luck. On the other
hand, we refuse to wish our visitors
any bad luck.
A new rival of Judd Mortimer Lewis has been discovered roaming the
halls of H. J. C. Her style is every bit
as good as that of the famous poet—at
least, in the following limerick:
A boy who had once been a jockey
Decided that he'd play some hockey;
But he soon changed his mind
When he once came to find
That the ice was both bumpy and
When she was feeling blue, Miss
Pledge also wrote the following poem:
If somethin' happens to make you
Try smilm' just a little.
Change your mind if you think you're
Try smiiin' just a little.
It's not the fellow who frowns the
Who gets the best results,
He'll soon find out that a smile
Will save a lot of fuss.
So brace your shoulders and grit your
Try smiiin' just a little.
You'll soon find out that you're on
Try smiiin' just a little.
Don't look for trouble that isn't near—
You'll find it twice as bitter;
Just wait until you know it's here, and
Try smiiin' fust a little.
This is our view of the situations-
Here's to you, Miss Pledge:
May your poems never cease,
For it's no sacrilege
To send us all these.
Want an anjid.qyg'"for *an "unrequited
love, oTj^ifpam in the neck, or a de-
GRINS and GROANS
ego? Or maybe you're suffering
from just a plain grouch. Anyway,
whatever your trouble, a hearty laugh
ought to help your feelings. And here's
a guaranteed producer of a lot of real
blues-chasing laughs if you had a sense
(of humor to start with; if not, you're
It's a recently published volume of
verse, "Hard Lines," by Ogden Nash.
Don't jeer, and don't look bored—it
isn't poetry. It wasn't even intended
for poetry. But for. sheer, cleverness
and unadulterated fun, it can't be beat.
Without doubt, a number of Junior
College students have already adopted
t"Why did the Lord give us agility
If not to evade responsibility?"
While we do not endorse this one—
it's very effective:
"A good way to forget today's sorrows
Is by thinking hard about tomorrows.'
Here's a new angle on the unemploy
"Possibly the greatest labor-saving device in the history of the nation
Is the present administration."
Most Junior College boys witl agree
with these lines:
"A girl whose cheeks are covered with
Has an advantage with me over one
And many of us might be more
eagerly welcomed if we heeded the
moral in this little observation:
"Probably a good deal of supercilious-
la based on biliousness,
For somehow people seem to be proud
Of any infirmity, be it hives or dementia praecox."
MANY NEW BOOKS—
(Continued from Page 1)
Medieval History" in five volumes.
This is of value to the advanced English students as- well as those taking
History. For modern History there is
The Constitution and What It Means
Today," by Corwin.
We now have our first copy of
"Who's Who." This gives a list of all
of the prominent men and women with
their names and present addresses as
well as their present occupations. Lady: "I must go. I have to meet
Other books received were: "Nature my husband at 5 o'clock."
and Meaning of Teaching," by Strebel Hostess: "It is now 6 o'clock."
and Morehart; "Chemistry and Food Lady (sitting down again): "Ah, then
Nutrition," by Sherman; "Organic] I still have half an hour."
Chemistry (revised edition) by Conat;
and "Practical Methods of Organic
Chemistry," by Gattermann. To bring
further suffering to the poor benighted math students there is a copy of
Fundamentals of High School Mathematics," by Rugby-Clark.
Most of thei-e books have been ordered at the request of students and
professors and are being unpacked, indexed, and put on the shelves as rapidly as possible^
There are seven ages of man, and
two of woman. One is her right one.
Fay'Gene Laurence says: "Speaking
of flappers reminds me of girls who,
when they were good they were very,
vary good, but when they were bad
they were hurrahed.
No, Mary, a neckerchief is not necessarily the president of the Sop ho-
Virgil P.: "You sister is spoiled, isn't
Maurine E.: "No, that's the kind of
perfume she uses."
"Hey, don't spit on the floor'
Jo Ed W.: "What's the matter, does
the floor leak?"
Book Agent: ''I wonder if I can't se<
your mother? Is she engaged?"
Lucille C: "Heck, no, she's marled."
Jack Thurman: "Say, Lou, what does
I mean when they say, 'they rent
Lou__BukQatskA-''OV*, •*-Suppose finej
couldn't afford to buy them."
Johnny R.: "Nora, what would you
do if I asked you to marry me?
N. L. C: "Nothing, I can't talk and
laugh at the same time."
Where art thou going, my pretty maid?
To milk a cow, sir, she said.
In that pretty dress, my maid?
No, in the bucket, sir, she said.
Little dabs of powder,
Little dabs of paint
Make Magda Sohle's freckles
Appear as if they ain't.
"Doc" Addison: "Do you walk home
Frances Willard: "No, I ride home
'You drunken beast! If I were in,
your condition, I'd shoot myself,"
"Lady, if you wush in my condition,
you'd mish yourself."
Maurine: "Terry said he'd kiss me
or die in the attempt"
Gladys: "Gracious! and did you let
Maurine: "You haven't seen any funeral notices, have you?"
Gordon Jones: "Waiter, what on
earth is this concoction?"
Waiter: "Why, that's bean soup, sir."
G. J.: "Never mind what it's been!
What is it now?"
Warren Lemmon (angrily): "Do you
believe every fool tells you?"
Phyllis Workman: "Oh, no darling.
But sometimes you do sound plaus-
Charlie W.: "Last night I dreamed
you loved me. What does that mean?"
Mildred L.: "That you were dream-
Someone has said that the reason
they say 'amen' instead of 'awoman' is
because they sing hymns and not hers.
'Do your hens sit or set?" asked
the summer tourist of the farmer's
'm not concerned with that," said
she," when the hens cackle what I
want to know is, are they laying or
Politics and love go hand in hand;
two opposing parties, the one trying to
overwhelm the other.
Albert K.: "Nobody ever made a fool
Gladys J.: "Who did, then?"
Kate M.: "Your car is at the door."
Jane W.: "Yes, I heap- it knocking."
Nurse: "Good morning; I'm the new
Grouchy Patient: "Are you a trained
Nurse: "Yes, of course I'm a trained
G. P.: "Then do some tricks."
Some people are so slow it is doubtful if they ever fall fast asleep.
Census Taker: "What is your husband's name?"
Mrs. Murphy: "Pat."
C. T.: "I want his full name."
Mrs. M.: "When he's full he thinkrt
he's Gene Tunney."
Mary Lennox says some girls let a
fool kiss them, And others let a kiss
Old Gent: 'Why does your dog
scratch so much, sonny?"
Sonny: " 'Cause he's the only one
that knows where it itches."
VTisitor in Insane Ward: "Is that
Patient in Insane Ward: "If it was
right it wouldn't be here."
Officer: "What's the idea, going 70
iles an hour?"
Wayne Livergood: "You see, officer,
I have bad brakes on my ear. I'm try-
ng to get home before I have an accident."
Kind-hearted Lady (to student under pile of wreckage'; ;■ "Have an accident, young man?"
Student: "No thanks, I just had one."
Two gentlemen were driving home
from a party. The party had been
more than ordinarily convivial.
"Bill," said Henry, "I wancha be ver'
careful. Firs' thing ya know we'll be
in a ditch."
"Me?" said Bill, astonished, "I
thought you wuz driving."
Mary had a iittle lamb,
Given by a friend to keep;
It followed her around until—
It died from loss of sleep.
As Bum to Bum
"I walked a mile and a half for that
Camel—I thought the guy would never
throw it away."
'Have you heard about the meanest man in the world?"
"Yea, he throws chewing gum in the
streets for Austins to get stuck on."
Passenger (in elevator): "Fourth
Operator: "Here you are, son."
Passenger: "How dare you call me
son, you're not my father,"
Operator: "Well, 1 brought you up."
And then, of course, there's the musical carpenter. He plays the tuba
First Nut: "Have yuh gotta match?"
Second College Boy: "Have I? Say,
I've got, matches to burn."
"This sours me against the world,"
said the cucumber as it was dipped
into the brine.
The difference in effect of the stuff
Rip drank and what some people drink
is that Rip woke up.
Wife (at head of stairs, 2 a.m.): "Is
that you, John?"
John (ominously): "Who were you
Up to the Guide
First Drunk: "Shay, quit follering
Second Drunk: "I can't. I'm going
shame place you are."
Second: "I dunno, Thash why I am