. Mary Esther Waggoner
Hope McCutcheon, L. P. Marshall
— .Fred R. Birney
News Editor ...
Ruth Depperman, Elmer Hamilton
Milton Gregory, John Hill
Advertising Manager _
__ Minnie Topek
. C. W. Skipper
Ovide Boulet, Mack Douglas, Florence Kendrick. Louise Heydrick, Tommie Cooksey, Harry Flavin.
I reckon things have begun to pep
up around our school—or at least the
papers say so. But the funny part
that you can't always believe what
you read in the papers, because the
only time a reporter is on the level i:
when he is dead.
The papers say we staged a "riot"—
I don't know because I was just or
the bottom of a medley of arms, legs,
and other, parts of the human anatomy. But I betcha the reporter that
wrote that story wasn't even no where
near when it happened. He was probably over at the old folks home
watchin' a game of bridge; and when
he got back to his office he wrote
"War Declared By Old Folks: Thousands Hurt" and I betcha he did.
Please don't get me wrong. I'm- not
incinerating that a reporter would e
aggerate, but doggone it, we all kn
that by hitting a few keys on t
typewriter, anything can possibly
As for the "riot" itself—it was just
one of those affairs where everybody
has a rang-tang, toot in', good time.
You know, something like the other
nit- whi n we had them old time fiddlers. It wasn't one of those pink-tea
affairs where everybody throws something soft, like cream puffs. In fact,
it was a very unsissified get-together.
But when some newspaperman, who
is good at slinging the cow's husband,
writes it up so tad that even Al Jol-
son killing little Sonny Eoy or his
Mother would seem kinda funny, then
it's time for comment.
Us frosh and slimes are really sorry
if we caused the school any undue
trouble- We all love Junior College
and would die for her, but the only
trouble is that J. C. doesn't need
students to die for her—she needs
them to keep alive and help her grow.
In the first plrce what we staged was
not a "riot". We staged a rush. There
is nothing like a pood, old-fashioned
rush to keep a man in good physical
health. Rushes, when taken with dua
care and consideration, will tone up
the system, add to your general
health, and make hair grow on your
chest. So if anyone thirks our deportment is tad just because we engaged ourselves in that little tussle—
they are wrong.
Let's get back to what the paper
says: First, it said the glass was
broken out of three windows. Everyone connected with the H. J. C. knows
that there is no more truth in what a
politician says. And there ain't none.
However, there were two doors torn
off their hinges. Now, those stately
old doors have not known strength
since they have known splendor. In
other words they were just "resting"
on their hinges. Some hard-thinking
and provident freshman started slamming the doors while his classmates
were trying to lower the colors of the
upperclassmen. With much malice
and forethought he slammed and
slammed till the doors dropped off.
What he did was a classic performance. As for raiding his fellow classmen, he might just as well have run
around the block holler in "Oowah",
or butted his head against the sidewalk. Anyway he didn't have nerve
enough to get in the melee, but he
wanted to do some damage—and hi
did. Shame on you freshman, whoever you are.
The frosh might have gained
trance even at that, but they are
any good till they get warmed up—
and when they get warmed up, they
aro all pooped out. Fearlessness combined with recklessness made thi
slimes shout, "Come on, gang. We can
get in. They" are wide open." The
sophs were wide open—just like a
buzz saw. One frosh ducked not
soon enough nad got a little halo
around h is eye. I don't remember
whether "Suitcase" Aitken was in that
mass of students that were entangled
like a carload of pretzels or not. But
he probably wasn't, because anybody
with feet the size of Aitken's would
be too hard to push over.
Readin* poetry might have had
something to do with this little hap;-
pening. You know, the two classes
wore probably insoired by some ancient war god. Like in the old Norse
mythology he was called Lokj, or the
rpirit of Sock-'E-n-On-The-Chin. In
Greece he was called Parnassus among
other things. In Junior College he is
Will-Be-A-Prof. Anyway the whole
t':ing would have been more effective
if the frosh had been dressed in leopard skins to look like satyrs, and a
brass band had been on hand to play
The whole thing was done in the
spirit of fun, and there is no hard
feelings. Eut those engaged protest
when it is called a "riot". We prefer
the term "rush". This choice is because "rush" is a gracious, solemn,
and graceful ceremony, while "riot" is
more acrobatic term.
(Continued from Page 1)
ith Messrs. Harris and French as his
The object of the club is to find out
ays of improving college teaching,
and what subject matter should be
The club meets on the second and
dnesdays of each month at
the Bluebell for luncheon.
A program follows.
Kitty Hurlock should have realized
that her attempt to bring out the fad
of using "blue lipstick" would never
be a big success. The males have
something to say about that. Red lipstick is hard enough for a boy to wipe
from his lips, but BLUE! Why, don't
they use spotted lipstick and then
every time a boy was kissed on the
cheek (do they kiss on the cheek any
e) it would look like he had the
Were we amused at the "jungli
party" two Sundays ago? Donald
Suitcase" Aitken, soph president, has
exceptionally large feet, size 12 to be
exact, so he was appointed to stomp
the paths down to the bayou. Oh boy!
You should have seen some of those
paths. One path was at least two feet
Don't you sophs miss Jean Weath-
erall, Lee Stone, "Windy" Smith,
Marion Adams and Harry Matthaws.
They are all making good at the colleges they are attending. ,
John Hill, "Doggie" to you, tells us
of a ranch where he spent part of his
summer. It's called Buck's and
lere is what it's liks. Clear cold
tream of fresh water for swimming,
.large mountain in the distance. Good
horseback riding. Excellent hunting.
Fine fishing. Good-looking waitress at
the ranch. All one can eat. Good
vd goes there Guess some of the
J. C. lads will have to look into this.
Sounds like heaven to us.
We firmly believe that Adolph Marks
ts a secret passion for Ruth Depper
an, school beauty. Adolph has taken
Ruth to several shows and soon
strut with her out to the night clubs.
Oh, guurrls, don't you just know that
Adolph shakes a wicked hoof and
looks divine in a tux. Yoo hoo, "Ady".
And now for the grand finale. We
we asked five popular students in
school how they voted yesterday and
here are the answers:
Harold Renfro: "I voted for Roosevelt
'cause he is a prohibitionist, believes in
the 15-hour-a-day working schedule
and believes in the reduction of wages
for the poor and increase of the wages
of the rich."
Vernon Scott: "Andy Gump was my
choice for the presidency because he
wears a no mans' collar and is kin to
the rich Uncle Bim."
Nelda Smith: "I voted for Ma Ferguson because I did not' like the way
Sterling handled the Word War situation."
Mary B. Anderson: "Will Rogers got
my vote for president as he will probably stage a big rodeo on the White
House lawn and I will get a chance to
show off my horse." (For the benefit
of the unlaarned, M. B. is a personal
frieod of Will Rogers, bavin* been
introduced by Hamp Eob.n&cn at a
Fairfax Moody: "I cast my vote for
Clark Gable because he has such beautiful toenails."
Editor's Note: Thank the Lord this
column is ended.
(Continued from Page 1)
women and conceited;, well possibly
th; last part any way.
-Christine Flanagan a blushing bride
and so sweet she could kiss herself.
We'll do our own kissing, if you
—Evelyn Cochran getting her man
without a shotgun.
-Frances Bates with a very innocent
daughter of 16.
—Alexander Gardener trying to be
more like George Adams LeFevers
than tho original.
—Bob Stalling a crook Our suspicions
ares now confirmed.
—Lou Johnson mahogany colored and
' officious ;yes officious.
—Israel Robinowitz dignified, dumb,
and helpless; th; second is a fact.
—Ariel Is Kit ridge, Innocent, in love
for the first time, sweet sixteen and
never bean kissed (up our sleeve),
—Dorothy Golden an extortionist—No,
we know how she got that big fur
—Minnie Topek an old maid school
teacher. We have also heard of
Minnie the Moocher.
—Naedell Mills a maid and flirting
with anything that wears pants.
—Bill Stanford a maid hustler.
WORLD HIKER HAS
NOT SLEPT IN BED
FOR SEVERAL YEARS
By Hope McCutcheon
Around the world in six years—that's
the record Jack Lavich is out to make,
and from, all indications he's well on
the way, for he has just four more
years to go.
Mr. Lavich, a native of'Russia and
a naturalized American, paid the
Houston Junior College a visit Monday to study the attitude of the students. He's been on his hike for two
years and intends to be back in New
York about 1936.
"I've already been half-way around
the world," he explained, "and have
visited Russia, the Baltic States, Germany, and Poland.
"The next lap of my journey will include Mexico, Central America, and
some parts of Asia and Africa."
Mr. Lavich is a social research worker and is making this around-the-
world hike to study the attitudes of
the different countries.
In comparing the attitudes of the
various countries, Mr. Lavich said that
out of every five automobiles on the
highways in Germany he was asked if
he wanted a ride.
In America, out of every 400 automobiles that pass him on the highways,
he is asked by the driver if he wants
a ride. "This might seem like a reflection on the American," he said,
"but sometimes traveling on the German highways not five cars are j
during the entire day."
When asked about some of his experiences while hiking, Mr. Lavich .
that during the entire two years that
he has been on this tour he hasn't
slept in a bed.
"I probably wouldn't know what a
bed is," he laughed. "I haven't slept
in one since I started hiking, I usually
sleep in barns or under the trees at
"One of my most thrilling experiences, however, was the trip from St.
Louis to New Orleans. I traveled 47
days down the Mississippi River in
a row boat from St. Louis to New Orleans.
'From New Orleans I hiked to Beaumont and then to Houston," he said.
"After I leave Houston I'm hiking to
San Antonio and from there to
Mr. Lavich has made a study of the
Russian five-y;ar plan and declared
that in that country it is a complete
success, but he believes that other
countries think it a failure.
'The power that the Communists
have ovar the people in Russia is disgusting," he said, "unless a man is a
ember of the Communist party hs
is no chance of ever holding any sort
"However, the way things stand now,
Russians have more personal freedom
than before the revolution, but they
work much harder.
"The young people are real democrats and their ideals and attitudes
ill be the salvation of the country."
According to Mr. Lavish, Roosevelt
will be our next president, if the reports he has heard are interpreted
Everyone believes that this country
needs a cbsmge in government and
many Republicans plan to vote for the
Democratic nominee,' 'he said.
Mr. Lavich came to New York from
Russia when he was eight years old
:th his parents. He has attended
Northw3stern University in Evanston,
ois. While in Houston he spoke
to several grouos of students at the
Sam Houston High School and members of the Y. M. C. A.
(Continued from Page 1)
buvs a dozen bars of Life Net soap.
John has been taking two baths a
day, and has a reputation of being the
neatest man in his community, but he
now takes five baths daily, scrubbing
thoroughly each time with Life Net
The soap manufacturing company,
hv a cp"cial process, make thsir soap
deodorizing, but forget to deodorize the
soap. John now smells like a mixture
of creosote and horse-hoof glue, but
he feels perfectly secure. He is now
using Life Net soap.
By Kitty Hurlock
Papers were received in exchange
during the past week from many sections of the United States. Probably
the most distant was received from St.
Benedict, Oregon. The Pacific Star is
the name of their interesting paper. It
is a six-column paper, and the JArst
school papar we have ever seen that
has an editorial policy. There was an
interesting feature story on the college
as it was 50 years ago.
—H. J. C—
Pat Foley: I was hit by an automobile last week and knocked senseless.
Johnny Nicholson: When do you expect to get better?
—H. J. C—
Hamp Robinson: What Mormon has
"Woozy": Bring 'em Young.
—h. j. a—
A dear old lady seeing a little boy
playing in a mud puddle hastens to reprove him. "My dear child," she exclaimed, "get out of that puddle at
"Go find a puddle for yourself," retorted the indignant rascal, "I saw this
—H. j. c—
From Memphis, Tenn., comes the
Humes High Herald. It is an attractive journal printed on slick paper.
There seems to be a vogue there to
see who can grow the longest fingernails.
—H. J. C—
When the roll is called up yonder,
wp wonder who will be the first to
Sunny California sends us the Muh-
sette from the city of Marysville. The
school recently took a straw vote on
the presidential election. The results
were not tabulated in time to gat into
their last issue, but the pre-election
interest was keen. Their paper con-,
ains no jokes, but it has several well-
written columns. An attractive sport
page occupies page four.
—h. j. a—
LeRoy Melcher: Loan me a nickel to
go see the sea serpent.
Richard MacFcc: Such wastefulness;
here is a magnifying glass. Go look at
—H. J. C—
The only daily high school newspaper
in the world is published by the Short-
ridge High School of Indianapolis, Ind.
They claim to be not only the only
school to put out a daily, but also the
first school to attempt the task.
—H. J. C—
Don't worry if your job is small
And your rewards are few,
Remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like you.
—H. J. C.—
The Pilot from Port Arthur, Texas,
issues a six-column paper with two of
the six pages being devoted to sports.
Alumni news is particularly featured.
The girl pep squad, the "Red Hussars,"
have been furnished with new uniforms for the ensuing year.
—h. j. a—
Jessie Darling: You should have s^en
Wilma run the quarter mile.
Mac Douglas: What did she run it in?
J. Darling: I forget what you call the
—H. J, C.—
H. E. Blalock says some of the greatest discoveries have baen made by accident. For example he says he discovered that by keeping a bottle of
k handy he can use his fountain psn
just like any other pen without going
to the trouble to fill it.
The Alcee Fortier High School of
New Orleans sends us a copy of their
eight-pags, slick-paper publication. A
feature on Huey Long's son merits the
attention of the readers of this paper.
The Kingfish's son favors crumbling in
preference to his father's choice of
dunking cornbred in pot-liquor.
Student government seems to be in
evidence, for a heated presidential
campaign is in full progress. The No-
Home-Work party is the favorite in
the coming election, however the
Communist party is considered as a
possible dark horse as they plan to denounce all faculty rule if elected.