Associate Editor _
Assistant Editor ..
Managing Editor .
Faculty Advisor ..
- L. P. Marshall
Feature Editors Elmer Hamilton, C. W. Skipper
Sports Editor - — Milton Gregory
Exchange Editor Frances Nesmith
Humor Editor Bob Stallings
Ovide Boulet, Harry Flavin, Elizabeth King, Cortis Lawrence, Tom-
mie Cooksey, Jesse Darling, Jill Jenkins, and Isabel McDaniel.
STUDENT ASSOCIATION DANCES
The Student Association dance scheduled for Friday night has
paved the way for bigger and better Junior College dances—dances
where everyone will feel that it is really their dance—dances where
the alumni will be as welcome as the active student body itself.
The Student Association representatives have been asked innumerable times, "When are we going to have a dance?" If everyone who has asked such a question will attend this dance at the
University Club, we feel sure that they will be repaid for their
trouble and will help to make the dance a success.
To that group of people who are continually complaining about
our lack of spirit, we say, "Here is your chance to show that you
have a spirit of loyalty yourself." If they fail to turn out for this
dance, then it's up to them to keep quiet about social activities. Our
dances will be only what we make them.
The Student Association has done its part. The rest is up to me
students themselves. Are we going to make this dance go over as
it should and as we are capable of doing, or will we allow it to fai
as we have done so many times in the past? Think it over! It's en
tirely up to us!
THAT NEW ORGANIZATION
With the beginning of a new term next month, a new organization will take its place as one of the regular activities of the Houston Junior College. We are referring to that new 'Men's club' you
have heard so much about, and seen so little of.
To date the club has chosen a name, elected officers and held
Harvey W. Harris is sponsor, and as his democratic school spirit
is well known over the entire campus, there is no question about his
merit as a leader. The club has the entire sanction and support oi
Dean Dupre and the faculty.
Made up of fifteen charter members, and limiting its entire membership to twenty-eight, with a membership requirement that all
prospective members have a scholastic average of at least "C", there
can be no question as to the calibre of those gaining admission.
The purpose of the club is to establish a better relationship be
tween faculty and student body, to promote interest in the college
activities, and to formulate standards of ethics and fellowship among
its members. . . . Give it your wholehearted support and cooperation. It will set a precedent in the institution.
At the beginning of each new term, the officials of the Junior
College are faced with the problem of increasing the size of the
student body by advertising the school to the people of Houston and
We feel that the student body can greatly assist in the present
campaign for new students by explaining the merits of the Junior
College to their friends and prospective college students. The best
recommendation any college can have lies in the satisfaction and
pride of its students for their school. In this respect the Junior
College can hold its own with any other college in the country, for
who can say that we are not proud to attend this institution?
In order for H. J. C. to continue to grow it is necessary to add new
students to its rolls. We should feel that it is our duty to show
people the advantages of our college and convince them that they
should attend themselves. By increasing our student body we will
be ablq to have more school activities, larger classes, and greater
athletic activity. All of these qualities are to be desired, but they
come only witb a large and active student body.
In future years we will be able to look back on our days in the
Junior College and see where we helped to make the school successful and how we aided in bringing about the University of
Professor Z. Q. Whizboum, Archaeologist,
American Museum of Natural History,
New York City.
As per your orders, we have been
digging for six months in Pyramid No.
14%, three miles north of camel trail
A, near Cairo. Undoubtedly, this was
the resting place of that great little
vamp, Queen Aphrexompuptolx, otherwise known as Cleopatra, the man-
hater. All we have been able to find
far, after digging through fifty feet
cf solid rock, is four bunches of love
letters, all tied with pink ribbons,
most of them with Roman postage
stamps, and postmarked from August
14, 3 a.m. 56 B.C. to July 4, 49 B.C.
Had these letters been found two
thousand years earlier, it would have
caused a national scandal. We are
quoting below from some of the letters, and sending all of them to you
by the next air mail, which leaves five
months and two minutes from today.
Most beautiful Cleopatra:
I almoet didn't get away the last
time I cams to see you, because 300
Roman soldiers tried to capture me as
I came out the door. It took fast work
my part to kill 132 of them with
my dagger, and the rest ol them
caught air. Can't I meet you some-
te beside in the palace? If old
Julius knew that I have been coming
to see you every Saturday night, he
would beat the (Dear Prof, the papy-
was undecipherable at this place)
out of me.
I am bringing over my fleet of nine
galleys, so we can go canoe riding
nsxt week when the moon is full.
Here's the last one, Professor:
Dear Miss Cleopatra:
We have submitted the architect's
drawing to the contractor, and he says
that a pyramid, built to government
specifications, can be finished in 14
years, and will cost only 40,000 black
slaves, $100.. in gold, seven camels and
4 cases of pre-war Mesopotamian fire
May w^ enter your order for one of
our finest pyramids?
Great International Egypt and
Algiers Contracting Co.
P. S. Dear Prof.:
Please don't forget our expense
money—and wish us good luck on our
Shorts and Spats
Mr. Kerbow's education certainly
ruined a good farmer.
Ask anybody who had a weak imag-
nastiion, how Mr. Birney looked in
Don't stop me," gasped the boy
running from the group of dull debutants, "I'm a fugitive from a Jane
We received information that the
school board doesn't need Mr. Rees
any longer. He's long enough now.
Mr. Rote would be in b bad fix if
he had a sensitive sense of smell.
"'Shorty" Wilke said that she was
out skating. I'll bet the boy friend
■an out of gas and she wouldn't lend
lim her skates.
Mr. Dupre can put one over on the
doctors at least. They can't tell him
to have his teeth taken out.
What would Mr. Hooker look like in
some very baggy nickers?
The radio announcer professor repeated the pronoun "I" 75 times in one
If some one would only put a cross
«rk on that patch that "Shorty"
Sparks had on her face recently.
All those who want a group photo
of Lucy G. please form a line on the
left or any other place.
I went through a boy friends mail
the other day I found this in a letter
addressed to Alma Stewart who had a
The past week has brought us sev-
al exchange papers from different
parts of the state and from points outside of Texas.
"The Tiger" a weekly news magazine published by members of the
student body of Colorado College,
Colorado Springs, Colorado, is a very
nifty number and immediately attract!
seems that Colorado College fairly reeks with clever column writers.
Why do all of the schools get all of
Whats that screaming—? Its the
editor. Hit him with this club.
Students of Colorado College go in
for fraternities and sororities in a big
From Iraan, Texas, comes the
"Broadcaster," breadcasting Iraan
school news. This paper is published
in a convenient size, one that will enable you to read it anywhere behind
text books, in a crowded bus or
wherever you take the notion.
This paper was given the third
highest rating for a class B paper in
the recent Texas High School Press
It is needless for me to offer my
lowly criticisms of so good a paper.
"The Dial," from San Antonio, issued twice each month by students of
Westmoreland College in San Antonio.
Apparently students in Westmoreland despise dishonesty in any form.
In a recent questionnaire submitted
to the students, asking for the worst
possible fault of a student—cheating,
dishonesty, lying and stealing lead the
Some day, boys and girls, one of
those students will be president of
these United States.
"The Dial's" reading public is evidently proud of the diary type of columns, imitating the immortal Pepy's,
Students at Hillsboro Junior College,
i Hillsboro, Texas, call this paper
One especially good column "I only
Heard," appears as if it might keep
the authof of it busy—as busy, maybe,
as Mahatma Ghandi In a wind storm.
An excerpt from their paper follows:
Wanted—Some invention to keep me
from snappng my fingers in French's
governmental class.—Jessie Darling.
Will Swap — Twelve pairs of long
handles for one good suit of shorts,
suitable for P.-T. wear—Donald Aitken. Call S-C-O-T-C-H, 120.
Wanted—Information concerning Elmer Hamilton. Last seen, at my house
Friday night. Loretta Eslinger.
From Baylor University comes the
"Daily Clariot," a small paper and
quite intellectually inclined. There is
only one objection, the front page
make up is chopped up. This paper
also lacks humor.
Maybe they don't go in for columns
and features like we do. But I managed to find a short joke among its
few pages—one that goes something
"Last night Mack Douglas was late
of psychology class. Kerbow called
out his name and then said, "Miss
Kendrick, perhaps you can tell ua
where Mr. Douglas is. I believe I saw
you with him last night." Everyone
laughed, Miss Kendrick blushed, and
in walked Mack—they laughed again.
What a life!"
From San Antonio comes "El Na-
pal," published by students of Sidney
Lanier Junior-Senior High School, in
Most of the members of the staff are
Mexican and they take a great interest in theri excellent little paper.
Students of their school are conduct-
ing an English speaking contest. Each
member has to sign a pledge to use
only English at school.
From their "Just For Fun" column
comes the following:
"The gum chewing girl and the cud
Are somewhat alike, but different
What is the difference? Oh, I see
Tis the thoughtful expression on the
face of the cow!"
Heard This One
By Milton Gregory
Picked up at random;
Things are tightening up all along
the line. Richard Barthlemess, we have
read has taken a 33 1-3 percent pay
Barthlemess used to make two
pictures a year and get $150,000 for *
each. This year he is going to make
three pictures, and get only $100,000
for each. It's the white-collar fel- *
lows like that who have our sympathy
—the fellows who have to do more
work in order to live at all. »
Mammals You ought to know — attention future biologists. The Polar
bear has a very low freezing point.
His favorite seat is a cake of ice and
though he never has chiliblains he has
crazy spells. Polar Bears live mostly
upon Seals. It is a good thing to
keep out of the Arctic if you look like *
a Seal. Polar Bears mature much later
than animals near the Equator. Some
polar bears live so far North that they
never mature. The best ones are
mad* into rugs for people to trip
over. Some polar bears do not wish *
to be rugs. They never amount to
Tigers are very beautiful, but when "
they are bad they are horrid. They
commit rapine and pillage and have
two or more cubs at a time. Tigers
seldom climb trees, but don't count on
that. The Man-Eating Tiger is old
and decrepit He has lost his strength f
and vigor and we should feel sorry for
him. Young normal tigers do not eat
people. If eaten by a tiger you may *
rest assured that he was abnormal.
Read this sentence: Federal fuses
are the result of years of scientific
study combined with the experience
How mony F's are there in that ,
Sentence? Count them only once —
don't go back and count them again.
A real fish story: Jack Bryant, of
Dry Fork, Virginia, and his pa started *
down to the creek to go fishing. They
arrived at the creek and discovered
they had no bait. They saw an old
Water moccasin lying beside a log with
a frog in his mouth. Mr. Moccasin
had a happy look on his face and was
just ready to swallow the frog. Jack
took a forked stick, clamped it over «
the snake's head, and took the frog
away to use it for bait. The
old watsr moccasin had such a sad
look on his face at having the frog
taken right out of his mouth, that the
two fishermen were sorry for him. So
they gave the reptile a drink of old
white oak moonshine — and that's ,
noonshine what is. The moccasin went
wriggling away, and Jack and his pa
cut up the frog and began to fish.
In a few minutes they heard a strange -
thumping sound, and looking down,
they saw that some water moccasin
looking up at them with another frog
in his mouth.
A monkey sits on top of a pole, and
a man walks around the pole in a 4
circle for the purpose, let us say, of
taking a good look at his ancestor. As
the man moves on his chosen path the
monkey turns on top of the pole so .
as to always keep his face to the man.
The question is, when the man has
gone completely round the pole has _
he or has he not gone round the
A railroad train had a crew of three,
and three passengers, traveling be- «
tween Chicago and New York. The
train crew is made up of an engineer,
fireman and a guard. Their names
are Smith, Jones and Robinson, but
not necessarily in that order. The pas- %
sengers arr- Smith, Jones and Robinson, but will be referred to as Mr.
Smith, Mr. Jones, etc.
Mr. Robinson lives in New York. Mr. •
Jones' annual salary is $5000. The
guard lives halfway between New
York and Chicago, and his namesake
among the passengers lives in Chicago.*
The guards closest neighbor is one of
the passengers and his annual salary
is exactly three times that of the guard. ^
Smith beat the fireman at billiards.
The problem is: What is the name
of the engineer?