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The Cougar, Vol. 5, No. 5, January 27, 1932
File 003
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The Cougar, Vol. 5, No. 5, January 27, 1932 - File 003. January 27, 1932. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. June 1, 2020. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/64/show/62.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(January 27, 1932). The Cougar, Vol. 5, No. 5, January 27, 1932 - File 003. Daily Cougar. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/64/show/62

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Cougar, Vol. 5, No. 5, January 27, 1932 - File 003, January 27, 1932, Daily Cougar, University of Houston Libraries, accessed June 1, 2020, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/64/show/62.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Cougar, Vol. 5, No. 5, January 27, 1932
Alternative Title The Cougar, Vol. V, No. 5, January 27, 1932
Contributor
  • Marks, A.
Date January 27, 1932
Language English
Description From masthead: "The Cougar of The Houston Junior College, Houston, Texas. Established 1928."
Subject
  • College student newspapers and periodicals
  • University of Houston
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier LH1.H6 C6; OCLC: 10270243
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • University of Houston Archives
Rights In Copyright - Copyright Owner Unlocatable or Unidentifiable
Item Description
Title File 003
Transcript THE COUGAR Don't Be a Wallflower! Do you go about your daily routine at home, in school or at the dance in a self-conscious mood? Do you possess an inferiority complex which is retarding your success in many endeavors? Do you find it difficult to express yourself in speech and are you embarrassed when asked to say a few words before your classmates or club members? If so, life to you is not filled with as much joy and happiness as it should be. But don't give up hope, as these weaknesses can be overcome. It is not a great magnetic power which enables men to speak fluently and with ease. Their poise has been developed by constant practice and intensive work. You can gain this power and command of speech, also you, too, can learn to express your thoughts with ease and confidence. You, too, can learn to make social adjustments, and gain a wider circle of friends. Here is.the solution. The Houston Junior college offers a course which has for its purpose, primarily the developing of one's personality. A course based on plain common sense and psychology which makes backward students forward and leaders out of mediocre men. This course is public speaking. It is one that offers an opportunity to students in developing themselves in the science of making personal contact; the knack of which must be learned before anyone can make a success of himself, whether he intends lo be a doctor, lawyer, shoe salesman, or barber. So if you possess an Inferiority complex or if you are not making the progress that you would like to, why not investigate this course in public speaking? You will be astonished with its results. LEAP YEAR IS HEAH! BY MAGGIE SQIMP (Our Household Editor) It's leap year girls, and you all know the old saying about now is the time to come to the aid of your bashful beaus or something like tnatT~But I, as household editor of the Cougar, make the following predictions for the year 1932, A. D.; that WIILMA LINDSEY will have roped in SILAS PRY . . . JEANNE WETHERALL will probably get hooked up with HAROLD (What-a-woman) RENFRO ... and even the bashful ALMER CHILDERS will have a splendid wife in the radiant VIOLET HERBERT, and please don't be surprised if HULDA ALEXANDER (one of our old maids) moves to Salt Lake City so she can tie the matrimonial knot with both BILL SPITLER and JOHN B. HILL, NORA LOUISE CALHOUN is planning to propose to her what-a-man named O. D. BROWN . . . then, too, if RENA MAI BUTLER can sum up enough courage to pop the vital question, she may become Mrs. CLYDE SMALLEY. LEE STONE, the Goose Creek sheik, has already been asked for his hand in marriage by several ambitious co-eds . . . MURRAY HARTT should avoid the advances made by ALICE CLARE LUCKEL, unless he to wants to enjoy the pangs of married life - . . boys, be careful, HELEN HIGGINS is running loose and proposes to every boy she sees, i to A. GORDON JONES . . . ALLYNE ALLEN and OSCAR CONRO may take a fling in the sea of matrimony CHRISTINE FITZGERALD could probably get BOB BRANHAM if she wished him (girls usually wish him- dead). ATTENTION! If something has been, stolen from your car while you were attending classes at Houston Junior College, please see Mr. Dupre, as there is a chance of your missing articles being recovered. Ith That Tho? The editor of a small town newspaper explains the loss of the letter "S" from his composing room as follows: "Lath night thorne thneaking thcoun- drel thtole into our composing room and pilfered the cabinetth of all the eththeth! Therefore, we would like to take advantage of thith opportunity to apologize to our readerth for the gem e rally inthipid appearance of your paper. We would altho like to thtate that if at any time in the yearth to come we would thee thith dirty thnake-in-^he-grathth about the prem- itheth, it would be our complete and thorough thatithfaction to thoot him full of holeth. Thank you." Verse and Verse TO BE A FRESHMAN You're a good boy; you mind your mother, Your father, teacher, baby brother; You put your pennies in the bankie, And wipe your nosie on a hankie. You don't go fighting, stealing, swearing— You help your mother chop the herring. Well, you grow up, and you continue To show the kind of stuff that's i; you: You do not steal the boss's nickels; You live on sour cream and pickles; You take what comes and don't g{ sore, Unless it's from a Sophomore. —Samuel Hoffenstein. THE VACANT SMILE Some men smile in the evening; Some men smile at dawn; But the man worth while Is the man who can smile When his two front teeth are gone. When I consider how we fret About a woman or a debt, And strive and strain and cark and And work and want and sweat and fuss, And then observe the monkey swing A casual tail at everything, I am inclined to think that he Evolved from apes like you and me. —Samuel Hoffenstein. Cougar Sextet Defeats Independent Girls 25-17 With Cisco Kellogg, versatile captain, leading the way, H. J. C. girls basketball sextet turned back the Independent girls, 25-17, in a rough battle at the school gym, Friday night- Playing for their first time the two divisioned type of basketball, the Cougars turned in a creditable performance, and by defeating the Independents increased their rating greatly. During the first half, two-division, basketball was played in deference to the Independent cage team. Both Freshman and Sophomore players saw service during the game and will book more games in the future with outside teams. Lineup as follows: H. J. C. vs. Independent girls. Independents H. J. C. Middleton Parks Paul . Forward . Morgan Jump Center Smokensky _ __ . Kellogg Nathan - Guard . Rummell YOU CAN'T GET MILK FROM A COW NAMED JAKE! OR Little Boy Blue Come Blow Your Nose! PRESENTED BY THE H. J. C. CRA8MATIC CLASS Act I—An alley. Act II.—Under a bridge. Act HI.—A hay loft. Time: One hour after scheduled time. Place: College—where ignorance has an excuse for being, Characters: Watt A. Map, a lop-eared Peruvian cream-puff puffer James Page Hutto Flem, alias Noskah Nefoo, a one armed stone cutter. He holds the chisel in his mouth and hits himself on the back of his head. _ __ Ray L. Pell Oscar McSpoof, an abnormal person who likes college professors — Harry Phillips Desdemoriia McMugg, a chaperone who is deaf, dumb and blind. Anna Sloan STUDENTS URGED— (Continued from page 1) as he calls them. Why don't you each * one tear out the ballot at the bottom, mark an "X" by your choice, and stick it in The Cougar box in Dupre's office. Bet a million dollars that there are not ten among you readers that know that The Cougar has a box, furthermore, that Mr. Dupre has an office, and even after that, one could bet that half of the students in he Houson Junior college don't even know Mr. Dupre! He is the assistant dean of the institution, and what he says, goes. He says for all of you to cast a vote in the Beauty contest. He wants each of you to sign your name to the ballot when you vote so that he can check up on those who don't vote. The Cougar doesnt' care whether or not you write your name on the bal- Guard Substitutions for Independent girls included Lasky, Brier and Garfuikel for running center, and Danziger guard. Substitutions for H. J. C. included McVicker for forward, Eslinger and Kendrick for jump center, and Grant for guard. lot, but we do want you to vote. If your name is not on the ballot, it's immaterial to us. Do us a favor though, and check this ballot., Mr. Birney, Mr. Dupre, Mr. Miner, the whole faculty and The Cougar don't think theres' a one of the stu- den body that has not enough initiative to cast his vote in this contest. Will you fight back? If so, vote! Pay your poll tax now! Don't be a slacker! If you are a loyal citizen, pay your poll tax. Joey van Dam, the fun-loving lover who loves to love - H. Bell Renfro Hester Pilcher, goddess of licorice, aunt to the god of applejack Rosemary Lawrence Ruben Belch, of. the H. J. C. Belches Cyrus Huffsmith Shaw Maggie Squimp, his bethrothed Rena Mai Butler Blotto Barto who never gambles, hut will shoot craps with his own dice Meyer Hirsch Lurie Bibibibibi Bash who sells root beer without the root ..A. Gordon Jones Hanque (same as Hank) Tilch who is dressed like a fairy and dances acrois the stage from time to time _1 __. Fred Aebi A group of stew-dents who applaud or make lingual noises that signify the raspberry. Scenery furnished through the courtesy of the Fragrant Lily Co. Furniture furnished by Phooey Furniture Factory. A poll tax only costs $1.50, but it may save you $100.00's. Florence K.: ''Why did you break your engagement to Alice?" Ward: "She wanted to get married." "Now," said the college man to his dad at the football game, "you'll see more excitement for two dollars than you ever saw before." "I don't know," replied the old gent, "that's what my marriage license cost A college publication is a great inven- The college gets all the fame, * The printer gets all"the money, The staff gets all the blame. ^ '30: "Did you hear about the big mis take our president made at commencement?" * '31: "No, what was that?" '30: "Just after he had conferred degrees on the medical students some- ^ body fainted and he asked if there was a doctor in the house." Steward: 'How would you like your breakfast, sir?" Sea-sick Passenger: "With an anchor on it, if you don't mind." "Everyone is crazy over me," said •. the inmate of the first floor of the insane asylum. John H.: "Why doesn't someone start * a frat and call it Tappa Keg." Roger B.: "That would be too realis- tic." Silas F.: "How do you like dancing with me?" Wilma L.: "Fine, let me know when you start." CAMPUS CUT UPS Lula Grace K.: "I'm going to speak my mind." Curtes D.: "Silence at last." Richard A.: "I've waited an hour for you." ebaled W.: "Darling, didn't I tell you I might be five minutes late?" Jimmie B.: "Where have I seen your face before?" Lula Mae: "Right where it is." Harold R.: 'That was a nice kiss." Lolita W.: "You said a mouthful." Kenneth I.: "My girl's a brick." Lou J.: "Mine's a hard baby, too." Donald A.: "I thought you had a date with her tonight." Arthur B.: "Yes, but when I saw her leave her house at a quarter to eight with someone else I got sore and called it off." Margaret M.: "I hear Jim has lots of money." Pat I.: "Sorry, I heard it first." James P.: "Tomorrow I'm going out to the suburbs to see a model home." Flossie W.: "Listen here, big hoy, if there's any model to see home you let somebody else do it." Hick, as train nears depot: At which end of the car shall I get off? Conductor: Either end. They both stop. Irvin W.: "I hear that your girl has athlete's foot." Harry M. (rubbing trouser-seat): "No, but her old man sure has." "Cy" S.: "It doesn't take much to turn a woman's head." Grace S.: "You're right. That one just turned and looked at you." Mildred B.: "How do you look in a bathing suit?" Harvey R.: "I never had the nerve." Violet H.: "What are you doing with that letter on your sweater, don't you know you're not supposed to wear that unless you make the team?" Hulda A.: "Well?" Brother: "You can sit down now." New Initiated Pledge: "Liar!" Fred A.: "What's the difference between having a date with a high school girl and a Junior college girl?" Marion A,: "About ten dollars" Warm L.: "You're the only girl I "Happy": "That's all right, I don't mind beginners.' Milford S.: "Did you sleep tight last night?" Mary Jane F.: 'I'll have you know 1 never drink." Wilbur D.: "What's your ni Pie be?" Frosh: "Quitz Jones, sir." Wilber: "Where'd you get that n; Quitz?" Frosh: "When I was born my father came in and saw me. He said to mother, 'Mary, let's call it Quitz'!" LeRoy D.: "I hear that when Mrs. Smythe died she left $70,000 in her bustle." Curtis D.: "My, that's a lot of money to leave behind-" "Love fifteen," "Love thirty." "Love forty." Hudson E.: "Ah, a tennis game, I presume." Harry H.: "No. It's not a tennis game, and you better get the hell away from this harem." Leon G.: "Can you cook?" ■ Nora Louise C: "Yes." Leon G.: "Can you darn socks, sew on buttons and press neckties?" N. L.: "Yes." Leon: "Play an intelligent game of bridge?" N. L.: "Yes." Leon: "Wear conservative clothes, never ask for an ermine-" N. L.: 'Yes are you going to marry Leon: "No; I'm going to put you in a museum." Jack: "I lost all my friends last night." Jim: "How come?" Jack: "I sold my car." Nit: "What are you writing?" Wit: "A joke." Nit: "Send her my love." Loraine R.; "Is that a Jersey cow?" Portia G.: "I didn't see the license." Mr. Smith: "Don't think for a moment you're going to marry my daughter." Sookie C: "Fine; get me out of this mess and I'm your friend for life." Gladys K.: "I think I'll take up horseback riding; it will increase my social standing." Frances B.: "I don't know about the social standing but it will increase your standing." Billie W.: "Well, I guess I had better go up and study "_ Earl S.: '!Yes, I've got to write my girl a letter, too." Evelyn G.; "I heard something terrible about Alice last night." Lillie H.: "I thought you looked happy." V. F. H.: "This liniment makes my arm smart." Harry P.: "Why not rub some on your head." B. W. Payne: "You say you never borrow from friends." Murry H.: "I don't, but I still keep trying." Edward B.: "I can say this—I'm a self-made man." William J.: "Are you boasting or apologizing?" Evelyn H: "She's quite a social success, isn't she?" Lucy T.: "Yes; she can always say the wrong thing at the right time."
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