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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933
File 004
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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933 - File 004. March 31, 1933. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. September 20, 2019. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/59/show/58.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(March 31, 1933). The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933 - File 004. Daily Cougar. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/59/show/58

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933 - File 004, March 31, 1933, Daily Cougar, University of Houston Libraries, accessed September 20, 2019, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/59/show/58.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933
Alternative Title The Boogar, Vol. VI, No. 10, March 31, 1933
Date March 31, 1933
Language English
Description From title page: "Published by the journalism students of the Houston Junior College."
Subject
  • College student newspapers and periodicals
  • University of Houston
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier LH1.H6 C6; OCLC: 10270243
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • University of Houston Archives
Rights In Copyright - Copyright Owner Unlocatable or Unidentifiable
Note This is an April Fools' Day issue of The Cougar.
Item Description
Title File 004
Transcript THE COUGAR won! The strength of Googoobacofita, the germ which causes fallen arches, is put at one fuzzle. It takes 10 fuzzles to make a fizzle, 1,000 fizzles to make a buzzle, 6 buzzles to compose !4 a bip, and 9 bips to make up an erg. And just what the hell an erg is—nobody knows. Professor Ignatz Jerywitz has dis Covered that ordinary grub worms have a high nutrition value when eaten with limberger cheese. These worms, if eaten with due care and consideration, have a tendency to prolong life since they are rich in vitamines J and K. A Harvard prof astonishes the scientific world by discovering that an ordinary housefly has 6 character genes to every body cell, and each parathyroid gland has at least 2 METROPOLITAN STARTS SATURDAY 42ND STREET 14 Stars, 200 Glorious Stars WHITE CAFE FAMOUS FOR SIZZLING STEAKS "Tender as a Mother's Love" 814 Travis F-9440 nuclei in every cell. Wonderful stuff this—and has a great value toward bettering the human race. Clear pure diamonds can be made in the H?J?C? chem lab by melting a pound of butter in a quart of boiled juuz oil. Everyone can even make diamonds in their own home for a small cost if they have the butter and juzz oil. But the trouble is that there is no such thing as juzz oil. A Chicago mathematics fanatic .- cently issued the following statement to the press: '"If a car sets out from Houston traveling at a speed of miles per hour—then at the end of an hour's time the car will be a di: tance of ten miles from Houston. It took the math shark 10 years to complete that research. estimated that the average goldfish can draw in and spurt out 6 fluid ounces of water every hours. A recent scientific survey showed that out of every hundred matches that are made, they have the following uses. 28 light cigarettes, 6 serve as toothpicks, 4 light fires, 12 chewed up and thrown away, 5 get and become useless, 15 are wasted because the wind blows them out before they become well-lighted. 12 are used as toy soldiers in children's minature wars, and 18 serve the function of cleaning out peoples CUTTITTE'S Super Service TIRES and BATTERIES TEXACO PRODUCTS Washing. Greasing and Polishing is our specialty ROAD SERVICE C-OfiSO 1901 Leeland STOCK MARKET IN GREAT SHAPE SAY BUTTER 'N EGGERS One of the bloodiest battles ever staged between a faculty member and a student was witnessed last week in Holman Square Gardens when Pat (Patsy Watsy) Foley and H. W. (Snookums) Henderson fought a ten round draw. Henderson drew blood severly injuring Patsy Watsy by slapping hin squarely on his square head with a paperbag filled with garbage refuse Holbdie Katz, biological research- for Harvard, spent 26 years studying the Planaria or flatworm. Ht reports that the Planaria, in arder to travel one inch, expends enough ergy to run a steam engine for one ten-millionth of a second. Your Spring and EASTER CLOTHES Can Be Purchased on Mosk's BUDGET PLAN 3 MONTHS TO PAY SPRING SUITS NEW STYLES NEW WEAVES GREATER VALUES Beverly Hills $14.50 Hollywood $18.50 $24.50 Groshire $27.50 LEROY MELCHER College Representative WALK UP-STAIRS and SAVE $10.00 MOSK'S CLOTHES SHOP Inc. 419'/2 MAIN STREET The bag broke, leaving a bunch of carrot tops around Foley's neck like a garland wrath. Foley retaliated by tickling Snookums in the short ribs wif a lil bitsy witsy feather. O doodness gwacious! The Murdock-Bishkin scrap was a willie dillie'. It came about as a grudge which started in Bish's chem lab. The two contestants decided to meet on the field of honor in the prize ring and settle their differences like gentleman—by trying to kill each other. Those birds are real gents and the top 'o the morning to them both. Darn their hides! One of the most grueling tiddley- wink contests ever staged in the annals of H. J. C. was between John MUSCLE-BOUND Hill and Ed PUNY Smartt. Shartt had the weight advantage but Hill was the uglier. "You ole nasty thing,"-accused Hill, "I shall be forced to chastize your And a good time was had by all. Birney Buys— Continued from page 1 every girl in the audience will have lots of company. Ten thousand dollars in cash will be given as prizes. Admission will be 15c for each person, and only four hundred tickets will be sold. This company of stars have been gathered especially for the one showing in the Houston Junior College. The program, offering hundreds of delightful skits, comedies, radio programs and orchestral music will last five hours. If present plans materialize, many other famous names will be on the program. H. R. H, the Prince of Wales is planning to join Eddie Cantor and arrive in Houston in time to go before the footlights. Benito Mussolini will give a short pep talk and do a song and dance j act with Jean Harlow. WHO CARES? Hello, gang! Station N U T T about to give the correct time. When you hear the sound of the gong it will be exactly 8 p. m. providing you are listening in between 7:59 and 8:01. Please stand by for a ram. Next on the program will be a baritone sole: "He Wouldn't Pay Me For That Tattoo So I Took It Out Of His Hide." Hey, hey. played by C. W. Skipper and his melody boys. This will be followed by the Sands Street Sextette singing a song of their own composition dedicated to Milton Gregory entitled, "You Were A Mint For Me." The next number will be a trumpet solo by Budlar Birney entitled "At Dawning." Mountain Lion Mill will play the accompaniment on the under side of your hammock with a baseball bat. That's all this time, folks, if you ked us send in your requests to Station N U T T, if you did't like us, address all mail to the deep blue sea—don't forget to put the cork on the bottle! Burglar Caught— Continued from page 1 smoke belched forth, they cautiously slipped. Off came each hero's coat to beat out the flames. Nearer they came. ' great tongues of fire leaped at them. All coats were quickly raised to whip out the red tongues of flame, when they discovered the fire was a fire, but Kitty Hurlock was giving her version of the Charleston. keen person La Verne Lathrop is ; we ever saw one. If yau are going to San Antonio, don't fail to see John (Know 'em All) Hill's diagram on the best places to get liquid refreshments. Fred Aebi, an infinite nu years on the campus and : cent old ruin! iber of lagnifi- Graff Zepplin— Continued from page 1 A second statement issued by Doc Cantor says: "John D. ain't no great benefactor of humanity after all. De tightwad only give us a dime an' it looks like us school boids is gotta EARN a livin." Other members of the executive board also razzed Rockafelled for his cheap donation. Well anyway a dime' a dime these days! Buy American— Continued from page 1 manager, a great promotion from the Junior College paper ... Oh yes, I found out the truth about the phoney letters, they're all a lot of hooey and written by none other than J. J. Mooney and Ben Young. Well, don't believe a word 1 told you, but just the same if s in print. I will be seeing you next April fool's day. 10 Class Lessons $1.00 6 Private Lessons $5.00 NEW BEGINNERS' CLASSES Starting every Monday and Thursday for Babies, Children and Adults in Ballroom, Tango, Ballet, Acrobatic, Personality Singing and Tap Dancing ABEL SCHOOL OF DANCING "The Foremost Ballet School in the South" Imitated But Not Duplicated 614*4 Fannin St F-5500 ALMEDA PHARMACY, Inc. "Your Drug Store" Holman and LaBranch H-8194 : You SHOE REPAIRING Expert Shoe Repairing Whili Wait—Work Guaranteed. TERRY SHOE SHOP H-0346 1609 ■£ Richmond CAFE You Can't be April Fooled by Pa- tronizing the Richmond Cafe ami Bakery. What is the ex- tent of a president's power ? Who in particular ■is defending the 18th Amendment? What woman was back of a president? Gabriel s Over the White House LOEWS STATE Krupp Sl Tuffly's "FRIENDLY FIVE" Shoes for Men $ 5 —Dress Shoes! —Street Shoes! —Sport Shoes! —Golf Shoes! —Ventilated Shoes! —Calf Riding Boots! —Calf Lace Boots! Krupp & Tuff ly, Inc. 901 MAIN AT WALKER
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