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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933
File 002
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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933 - File 002. March 31, 1933. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. September 16, 2019. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/59/show/56.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(March 31, 1933). The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933 - File 002. Daily Cougar. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/59/show/56

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933 - File 002, March 31, 1933, Daily Cougar, University of Houston Libraries, accessed September 16, 2019, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/59/show/56.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 10, March 31, 1933
Alternative Title The Boogar, Vol. VI, No. 10, March 31, 1933
Date March 31, 1933
Language English
Description From title page: "Published by the journalism students of the Houston Junior College."
Subject
  • College student newspapers and periodicals
  • University of Houston
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier LH1.H6 C6; OCLC: 10270243
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • University of Houston Archives
Rights In Copyright - Copyright Owner Unlocatable or Unidentifiable
Note This is an April Fools' Day issue of The Cougar.
Item Description
Title File 002
Transcript THE COUGAR JUNIOR COLLEGE CREW TEAM Pictured above is H. J. C.'s rowing team in action! Fred R. Birney, notorious instructure, tis seen at the helm of the good ship "Greased Lightning." Birney's picture was snapped just as he was crossing the finishing line of,a round-the-world tour. Note Bime's lithe, graceful form asl he forces the craft thru the water at break-neck speed. Observe the powerful, sinuous muckles of Fredrick's ears as he holds them to the wind—hoping to catch enough wind to drive the lil boatsy-woatsy fru the wava.. (He ought to. The ears are big enough) Birney is seen with a piece of stick candy in his HI mouthie (it must be explained that he usually has his bottle and nipple, but the dry crusaders thought it might resemble beer instead of baby's milk—so tlie candy was substituted.) Note the sardine ant has left his haunts of the briney deep to welcome Frederick with that well known high-sign. Or maybe the fish is hitchhiking. Who knows? THRU THE KAMPUS KEYHOLE BY SEYMOUR SCANDAL Ethel Margaret Falk, the gal who is now giving the H. J. C. lads a whirl, was once upon a time in the air" about a boy who came to Houston from Arkansas. In fact, she was so far up air that she accepted his invitation for an airplane spin. Before the couple could ascend, however, little Ethel's parents arrived at the scene and prevented the aerial adventure. Miss Falk used to drive by the place George worked, and almost cost Mi Hudson his job. Now, however, Ethel has been pulling ears with Andrew Shebay. It might be a variation of tbe ancient game of "Postoffice." And it is the opinion of this scribe that she should at least stay within calling distance of the group when she skates with a youth on MacGregor Drive. The pair were at least a half-mile from the rest when spotted by Seymour Scandal. Orlo McGeath's nerves were in a bad shape after he played a recent game of "scavanger." Orlo was told to bring in a pair of unmentionables —one af the scantier of female undergarments. He succeeded in producing them, but ask him where he got 'em. Don't believe him. Pat (Toothpick) Foley, has about decided that no women are true. Pat had a date for the Soph dance, and lo and behold, if Mr. Foley didn't come out of Ye Old College Inn and find Miss Owen, his date, casting her affections on a handsomer brute. It was also Mr. Foley who thought he knew just about every parking spot in Houston, but a recent offered to show Patrick a new place that would beat his old haunts. She did, and he admits that it is even dark and secluded enough to satisfy HIM! A blessed event is expected by the wolf at our door. We are told that Chile Spencer was very stingy at the Junior League dance recently. People say he was certainly tight. If you enjoy getting rises out of people, try mentioning the word "Trees' to Harold Renfro. SWEETHEARTS SIP SODA, PHONING SWEETS WITH SINGLE STRAW! M. E. Horan invited herself to share George Hedrick's Chawklet ice cream soda in the Almeda Pharmacy. Need we say that Mary Elizabeth got the most soda? Miss Horan also broke the spring on the scales at the same pharmacy. Seymour Scandal is not sure whether she was weighing or doing a jig on them. A miss is as good as a smile. We think that Duncan Neblett and Elamey Fisher could select a more table place than an Analytical Geometry class to carry on their Hall of Flame Laureene Bettencourt and Stillman Taylor. Minnie Topek and any boy she can catch. H. A. Willrich and Jean Harlow. Laura Munson and Jesse Darling. Nell Wade and Jesse Darling. Any old girl and Jesse Darling. Robert Piehl and himself. -TNX. Ojr CortegeCuheoa^s (By Evelyn Coffey) My Favorite Liars Without any blush of false modesty I may say that I am now one of the world's foremost authorities on subject of fibs, whoppers and just plain darn lies. Eddie Mavasek, who for time, has had the honor of serving as Exalted Giraffe of the Tall Story Club (the genial brotherhood devoted to the glorification of the Great American Whopper) is the most shameless prevaricator of the year. ere's Long's credentials: "A friend an I were fishing in a trout stream when we came upon deep hole which was full of fish—that is, it was practically full f one particular fish. "We observed that fish carefully, and noticed that he had one red eye and one green eye. Presently we dis- d how the big fish managed to get something to eat. He would lie there and close his green eye and keep his red eye open. The smaller fish traveling downstream, upon seeing the red eye, would stop and wait for the lights to change. Pretty soon ther* would hole swarm of fish crowded together, obeying the traffic rules. "Then the big fish would close his red eye and open his green eye. The moment the swarm of smaller fish saw the lights change they would dart forward in a wild rush. And the big fish would open his mouth and swallow hundreds of them." I'm a lover of dogs, and was deeply touched when Mary Stephenson told me of the strange fate that fell her faithful hound. A neighbor killed the dog and had a vest made of poor Fido's skin. Mary knew this because the neighbor showed up with dog skin vest. On the vest was the stump of a tail, and every time Stevie approached, the tail started to wag. And I dare say this was the same faithful animal that learned to wigwag his tail. One day, George Snider went quail hunting with this dog. Presently, Fido's tail began making apid movements—wigwaging the following code message: KGeorge—have you got any buckshot?—If you haven't—you better— git—to h out—of here. There's a big brown bear up—ahead—and he's coming—your way. Signed Fido." Being the grandfather of a surgeon and having inherited a special scientific interest in all surgical matters, I was particularly interested the story told by Paul Spanks ch concerns a peculiar accident. nan had his nose cut off and also his big toe. Both the nose and the toe were sliced off as neatly as you please. A surgeon of great skill sewed the severed members back into place. The only trouble was that put them back in the wrong plac- He grafted the big toe on the man's face and grafted the nose on mans foot. The operation was a success," says Mr. Spanks, "exxcept for a few GUTTER STUFF We would like to know why Mary Elizabeth Horan gave up Charles Puse for her bright Spark Paul. There is a little scandal out about Bill Holt and Margie Wilkie were seen parking on Main St. recently. They were getting along very fine together. Jimmey Waite had a falling out with Homer Holcomb at a dance. She was eating a sandwich while dancing and he asked her if she wanted to dance with him or eat her sandwich and she replied that she would rather eat her sandwich. What a woman! Melvin Feeney has been going with three nice girls but if he want' keep them he had better stop going ound with these Taxi Dancers, When Ed Smartt and Ruth Sparks want to neck they better find a better place than the drive-way at the end of school. If Mack Douglas knows what good for him he'd better keep his 'Uth shut and keep away from a girl who's middle name is Elizabeth. AEBI TO GRADUATE peculiar results. Everytime the man has to blow his nose he has to take off his shoes, and whenever anyone steps on his toe he is really being kicked in the face." Newest Heart Throbs All the H. J. C. femmes are a-jit- ter and a-flitter just now in respect to the charms of one Elmer Hamilton. Most any fair damsel of this student-body can vouch for the fact that Elmer is a swelegant dancer- and, as for his personality, I'll wager i sea-green pajamas that he will continue to take femine H. J. C. by storm. Depression Rates Ed Smart, who colletcs garbage in one of the residential districts in which a great many H. J. C. students live, reports that this depression is simply terrible. He says his profits on the sale of empty ginger ale bottles has fallen off more than half. CUPID SAYS— Boy, bring Dan Cupid an Asprinl H. J. C.'s romances have given him a severe case of the "jitters." Fax Moody is hitting the high Working on the theory that all things come to him who waits, Fred Aebi, man about town of the H. J. C. is finally about to be graduated. Mrs. Bender disclosed late Thursday. A consultation was held between the members of the "We Like Pie Betta" fraternity and they consented to let Fred go. Fred has no plans for the future as yet... After he gets a shave he will disclose them. HomerReilley is still wondering how he can win an argument with a woman. Anyone who can supply the desired information will please get in touch with Mr. Reilley. Mr. did you get that! Mrs. Ebaugh read her class a story last week, and after it was finished she asked if anyone noticed an unusual simile in the story. Lucille Holland remarked that she knew what it was and stated that it was something about "worms." . Ebaugh quickly corrected her by saying it was not about worms, but about fishes. Someone spoke up and said. "Well, what's the difference, you catch fishes with worms." Wonder if Mrs. Ebaugh heard it? Everyone else did! spots with Israel Raboniwitz. Melvin Feeny and Woozy Ander- n are flitter-fluttering all over every place. Feeny has completely left Hamp in the shade even tho- Woozy and Hamp were at fever heat before the advent of Melvin. John Hill and Evelyn Bashara are now purring. They battle ever now and then 'cause it's so much fun patching up a scrap. Technocracy, war debts, unemployment and prohibition repeal are le and trivial questions when compared with such a. tremendous issue the effect Jesse Darling's kisses ve on Virginia Cotten. Ain't it good ! ! !
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