JUNIOR COLLEGE CREW TEAM
Pictured above is H. J. C.'s rowing team in action! Fred R. Birney,
notorious instructure, tis seen at the helm of the good ship "Greased Lightning." Birney's picture was snapped just as he was crossing the finishing
line of,a round-the-world tour.
Note Bime's lithe, graceful form asl he forces the craft thru the water
at break-neck speed. Observe the powerful, sinuous muckles of Fredrick's
ears as he holds them to the wind—hoping to catch enough wind to drive
the lil boatsy-woatsy fru the wava.. (He ought to. The ears are big
enough) Birney is seen with a piece of stick candy in his HI mouthie (it
must be explained that he usually has his bottle and nipple, but the dry
crusaders thought it might resemble beer instead of baby's milk—so tlie
candy was substituted.)
Note the sardine ant has left his haunts of the briney deep to welcome
Frederick with that well known high-sign. Or maybe the fish is hitchhiking. Who knows?
BY SEYMOUR SCANDAL
Ethel Margaret Falk, the gal who
is now giving the H. J. C. lads a
whirl, was once upon a time
in the air" about a boy who came
to Houston from Arkansas.
In fact, she was so far up
air that she accepted his invitation
for an airplane spin. Before the
couple could ascend, however, little
Ethel's parents arrived at the scene
and prevented the aerial adventure.
Miss Falk used to drive by the place
George worked, and almost cost Mi
Hudson his job.
Now, however, Ethel has been
pulling ears with Andrew Shebay. It
might be a variation of tbe ancient
game of "Postoffice."
And it is the opinion of this
scribe that she should at least stay
within calling distance of the group
when she skates with a youth on
MacGregor Drive. The pair were at
least a half-mile from the rest when
spotted by Seymour Scandal.
Orlo McGeath's nerves were in a
bad shape after he played a recent
game of "scavanger." Orlo was told
to bring in a pair of unmentionables
—one af the scantier of female undergarments. He succeeded in producing them, but ask him where he
got 'em. Don't believe him.
Pat (Toothpick) Foley, has about
decided that no women are true. Pat
had a date for the Soph dance, and
lo and behold, if Mr. Foley didn't
come out of Ye Old College Inn and
find Miss Owen, his date, casting her
affections on a handsomer brute.
It was also Mr. Foley who
thought he knew just about every
parking spot in Houston, but a recent
offered to show Patrick a new place
that would beat his old haunts. She
did, and he admits that it is even
dark and secluded enough to satisfy HIM!
A blessed event is expected by
the wolf at our door.
We are told that Chile Spencer was
very stingy at the Junior League
dance recently. People say he was
If you enjoy getting rises out of
people, try mentioning the word
"Trees' to Harold Renfro.
SWEETHEARTS SIP SODA,
PHONING SWEETS WITH SINGLE
M. E. Horan invited herself to
share George Hedrick's Chawklet ice
cream soda in the Almeda Pharmacy.
Need we say that Mary Elizabeth
got the most soda?
Miss Horan also broke the
spring on the scales at the same
pharmacy. Seymour Scandal is not
sure whether she was weighing or
doing a jig on them.
A miss is as good as a smile.
We think that Duncan Neblett and
Elamey Fisher could select a more
table place than an Analytical
Geometry class to carry on their
Hall of Flame
Laureene Bettencourt and Stillman
Minnie Topek and any boy she can
H. A. Willrich and Jean Harlow.
Laura Munson and Jesse Darling.
Nell Wade and Jesse Darling.
Any old girl and Jesse Darling.
Robert Piehl and himself.
(By Evelyn Coffey)
My Favorite Liars
Without any blush of false modesty I may say that I am now one of
the world's foremost authorities on
subject of fibs, whoppers and
just plain darn lies.
Eddie Mavasek, who for
time, has had the honor of serving
as Exalted Giraffe of the Tall Story
Club (the genial brotherhood devoted
to the glorification of the Great
American Whopper) is the most
shameless prevaricator of the year.
ere's Long's credentials:
"A friend an I were fishing in a
trout stream when we came upon
deep hole which was full of
fish—that is, it was practically full
f one particular fish.
"We observed that fish carefully,
and noticed that he had one red eye
and one green eye. Presently we dis-
d how the big fish managed to
get something to eat.
He would lie there and close his
green eye and keep his red eye open.
The smaller fish traveling downstream, upon seeing the red eye,
would stop and wait for the lights
to change. Pretty soon ther* would
hole swarm of fish crowded together, obeying the traffic rules.
"Then the big fish would close
his red eye and open his green eye.
The moment the swarm of smaller
fish saw the lights change they
would dart forward in a wild rush.
And the big fish would open his
mouth and swallow hundreds of
I'm a lover of dogs, and was deeply touched when Mary Stephenson
told me of the strange fate that
fell her faithful hound. A neighbor
killed the dog and had a vest made
of poor Fido's skin. Mary knew this
because the neighbor showed up with
dog skin vest. On the vest was
the stump of a tail, and every time
Stevie approached, the tail started
And I dare say this was the same
faithful animal that learned to wigwag his tail. One day, George Snider went quail hunting with this dog.
Presently, Fido's tail began making
apid movements—wigwaging the
following code message:
KGeorge—have you got any buckshot?—If you haven't—you better—
git—to h out—of here. There's
a big brown bear up—ahead—and
he's coming—your way.
Being the grandfather of a surgeon and having inherited a special
scientific interest in all surgical matters, I was particularly interested
the story told by Paul Spanks
ch concerns a peculiar accident.
nan had his nose cut off and also
his big toe. Both the nose and the
toe were sliced off as neatly as you
please. A surgeon of great skill
sewed the severed members back into place. The only trouble was that
put them back in the wrong plac-
He grafted the big toe on the
man's face and grafted the nose on
The operation was a success,"
says Mr. Spanks, "exxcept for a few
We would like to know why Mary
Elizabeth Horan gave up Charles
Puse for her bright Spark Paul.
There is a little scandal out about
Bill Holt and Margie Wilkie were
seen parking on Main St. recently.
They were getting along very fine
Jimmey Waite had a falling out
with Homer Holcomb at a dance. She
was eating a sandwich while dancing
and he asked her if she wanted to
dance with him or eat her sandwich
and she replied that she would
rather eat her sandwich. What a
Melvin Feeney has been going with
three nice girls but if he want'
keep them he had better stop going
ound with these Taxi Dancers,
When Ed Smartt and Ruth Sparks
want to neck they better find a better place than the drive-way at the
end of school.
If Mack Douglas knows what
good for him he'd better keep his
'Uth shut and keep away from a
girl who's middle name is Elizabeth.
AEBI TO GRADUATE
peculiar results. Everytime the man
has to blow his nose he has to take
off his shoes, and whenever anyone
steps on his toe he is really being
kicked in the face."
Newest Heart Throbs
All the H. J. C. femmes are a-jit-
ter and a-flitter just now in respect
to the charms of one Elmer Hamilton. Most any fair damsel of this
student-body can vouch for the fact
that Elmer is a swelegant dancer-
and, as for his personality, I'll wager
i sea-green pajamas that he
will continue to take femine H. J. C.
Ed Smart, who colletcs garbage in
one of the residential districts in
which a great many H. J. C. students
live, reports that this depression is
simply terrible. He says his profits
on the sale of empty ginger ale
bottles has fallen off more than
Boy, bring Dan Cupid an Asprinl
H. J. C.'s romances have given him a
severe case of the "jitters."
Fax Moody is hitting the high
Working on the theory that all
things come to him who waits, Fred
Aebi, man about town of the H. J. C.
is finally about to be graduated.
Mrs. Bender disclosed late Thursday.
A consultation was held between the
members of the "We Like Pie Betta"
fraternity and they consented to let
Fred go. Fred has no plans for the
future as yet... After he gets a shave
he will disclose them.
HomerReilley is still wondering
how he can win an argument with a
woman. Anyone who can supply the
desired information will please get
in touch with Mr. Reilley. Mr. did
you get that!
Mrs. Ebaugh read her class a
story last week, and after it was
finished she asked if anyone noticed
an unusual simile in the story. Lucille Holland remarked that she
knew what it was and stated that
it was something about "worms."
. Ebaugh quickly corrected her
by saying it was not about worms,
but about fishes. Someone spoke up
and said. "Well, what's the difference, you catch fishes with worms."
Wonder if Mrs. Ebaugh heard it?
Everyone else did!
spots with Israel Raboniwitz.
Melvin Feeny and Woozy Ander-
n are flitter-fluttering all over
every place. Feeny has completely
left Hamp in the shade even tho-
Woozy and Hamp were at fever heat
before the advent of Melvin.
John Hill and Evelyn Bashara are
now purring. They battle ever
now and then 'cause it's so much fun
patching up a scrap.
Technocracy, war debts, unemployment and prohibition repeal are
le and trivial questions when compared with such a. tremendous issue
the effect Jesse Darling's kisses
ve on Virginia Cotten.
Ain't it good ! ! !