"What do you do?"
Lois Dawson: "I keep house, scrub,
scour, bake, wash dishes, cook, do the
laundry, iron, sew."
And the census-taker listed her:
Englishman: "I lost fifty pounds
during the crisis."
Stout Friend: "Tell me your method."
Seeing America first: . . . sharp
curve ahead. ... a skin you love to
touch. . . . what a dilapidated old
house. ... It floats. . . . 400 rooms
with bath. . . . from contented cows,
. . . just soak and rinse. . . . What
a wonderful view. . . detour. .
safety and interest guaranteed,
best lubrication. . . . slow down to
20mi. . . . hot dogs and pop. ... no
left turn. . . . come again. . . . Florida's Nursery. ... 57 varieties. . . .
farm. . , . Fottsville was settled In
. . . more power, quicker get-away.
. . . this Is a fine stretch of road.
. . . detour. . . . more mileage. .
picture ahead. . . . kodak as you
go. . . .
H. C, Nagel: "Sweetheart, Is it possible for me to leave you?"
"Boots" Horn: "Oh, yes, I think so!
Dad may be waiting for you at the
front door, but the back way is clear!"
Zelda Amdur: "My fiance said he
had seen nothing smaller than my
Don Lang: "I have—the shoes you
Judge: "If, as you admit, you were
three miles away digging potatoes
when this man was arrested for speeding, how can you testify that the car
was going at the most, only 20 miles
Sambo: "Jedge, Ah used to own that
"Why do we have to pay such unreasonable rates just for bringng a
few Paris gowns Into Madrid?"
"I don't understand it very well myself, but I suppose it is just a little Spanish custom!"
Stranger: "I am an advertisement
canvasser. Have you any small wants
I can advertise?
Mr. Dupre: "Certainly not. My servant should not have admitted you. I
have told him repeatedly that I do
not see canvassers."
Stranger: "Then dismiss him and
advertise In our paper for a more obedient one."
Weldon Meadows: "You look like
a million dollars to me."
Frances Willard: ' 'Yeah, an' I'm
just as hard to make."
Stranger on Ark to Noah: "What
are you looking for?"
Noah: "Two bootleggers."
Jack Passante: "Louis Dee got his
nose broken in three places."
Lefty Morris: "He will probably
keep his nose out of those places
TO J. V.
O God, how
A speaker at the recent football
banquet had waxed eloquent for longer than was necessary.
"After partaking of such an excellent meal," he continued, "I feel that
if I had eaten any more, I would be
unable to talk."
From the far end of the table there
came a whispered order to a waitress:
"Bring him a sandwich!"
Mr. Black: "How many students
are there studying at this school?"
Mr. South: "Oh, about one in ten."
They arrested a policeman recently because they found a corn on the
H. Wood: "How do you do? I've
heard so much about you."
J. Day: "But you'll have a hard time
Coach Smith: "Remember that football develops leadership—now, get in
there and do as I told you.
Terry Russ: "Why do you worl
Bill Bower: "I'm too nervous to
The tiny ivory-skinned old lady
knitting beneath the parlor reading
lamp. She looked like something
Whistler would have painted. Presently a tiny child came into the room
and asked, "How do you feel today,
"Lousy," answered the old lady.
L. Lyon: "Pity is akin to love."
Stanley O.: "Maybe, but my girl
.-ill accept no substitutes."
"You're the tenth boy who's had
this thumb bandaged in here today,"
said the obliging doctor.
"Those Chi O's always serve their
tea too hot," cursed the tenth college
W. Livergood: "Why did you cut
the sleeve out of your overcoat?"
N. Lewis: "So I could put It on
without taking my books out of my
George Lanaux is so dumb he
things a peacock is a chicken In
If you are caught red-handed be
nonchalant—tell 'em you cut your
We know a girl so modest that she
wouldn't do an improper fraction.
Max L.: "Now our half-back is about
to kick off.
Margaret Tabany: "Oh, how terrible! Was he injured in the last
iaw: "Why leave? The evening's
but a pup yet.
Ley: "Yes, but I'm dog tired."
Mr. Harris: "Why have you quotation marks around your exam paper?"
Soap McG.: "I quoted from the girl
front of me."
Stanley Reeves Block
Doctor of Optometry
706 FANNIN STREET
'WHO'S WHO' ON THE JUNIOR COLLEGE CAMPUS
Cast your vote for the prettiest girl on the Houston Junior
College Campus. Drop your ballot in the box of the
contest in the office of the Dean of Women as soon as
I CAST MY VOTE FOR:
Miss Prettiest Girl
Name of Voter
This contest is sponsored by "Who's Who" in "Campus News"
Of W. C. Munn and Co.
Lewellyn Ross: Wliat do you stick
your hair down with?"
Harry Seaman: "Crustene."
Lewellyn R.: "Why?"
Harry S.: "Because it's shorten
Bo: "What are you doing now?"
Zo: "Buying old wells, sawing them
up, and selling them for post holes."
A blotter is a thing you spend your
time looking for while the ink is dry-
It is probably urged on by the spur
of the moment.
Quinine: "If Minnie in Indian
means water, what does Minnesota
Arsenic: "I'm sure I don't know."
Quinine: "Sota water, you poor
Inspector: "Got away, did he? Did
you guard all the entrances?"
Sheriff: "Yes, we think he must
have left by one of the exits."
"Olive, you get better looking every
"Oh, Scott, don't exaggerate."
"We'l, then, every other day."
Peet: "Did you notice the waiter
looking at you as If you hadn't paid
Aleo: "Sure, and did you notice me
looking at him as if I had?"
Artist: "Stand still, cuite."
Model: "Can't; cootie."
We're having a new house built to
match the perfectly stunning doorknocker mother brought back from
Boston last week.
HEY! THIS WAY
Lucille Bowden—and she's plenty
Then there's Edna Bowen, another
new comer to Junior College.
Mildred Learned, who's always
laughing and cutting up.
Here comes Denis Sneigr—the industrious reporter for sports.
Just watch folks between 4 and 9
and you'll see everyone of these students—not scholars.
Compliments of the
TEXAS BLUE PRINT &
1013 Capitol Ave.
Between Fannin and Main
Phone Preston 4907 and 4908
Service and Experience
BILAO'S SHOE SHOP
Special Attention Paid to
A TRIAL IS ALL I ASK
PHONE PRESTON 7910
1108 Capitol Avenue
STATIONERS . . .
Printing and Litho. Co.
Phone Preston 3848
1207.1211 CAPITOL AVENUE
(Opposite Post Office)
BANQUET SLATED FOR
# # # *
GRIDMEN IN CAFETERIA
■* # # *
ON JANUARY EIGHTEENTH
The lettermen will be honor guests
of the Cougar Collegians at the first
annual football banquet to be held
in the school cafeteria on Saturday
evening, Jan. 18, at 7 o'clock.
Unique decorations will adorn the
banquet table on which a turkey dinner will be served by members of the
Roy Hofheinz will preside as toast-
master, while there will be short
speeches by Mr. Oberholtzer, Mr.
Black, Coach Smith and others, in addition to an original program being
Tickets for the banquet will cost
75 cents each, are on sale from all
members of the Cougar Collegians, or
may be obtained by calling Mrs. John
Bender at Hadley 6214, or Ruth Kidd,
at Capitol 4795.
Reservations must be in by Thursday evening, Jan. 15.
Sam Houston State College
Proves Nemesis To
Coach C. B. Smith's cagemen were
sidetracked Friday evening in their
Initial, attempt of ■ the 1930 season
by the Sam Houston State Teachers'
Score: 25 to 22.
The Cougars opened the game with
a smashing attack that held the
Teachers helpless. Short, snappy passes against the visitors' long, low tosses gave the Junior College boys a 15
to 4 lead at the end of the first half.
Mascarilla and Eaton were the Cougar's chief scorers during the first
two quarters, while Peterson and
Johnson checked the Freshmen forwards.
The Teachers came back in the
second half to give the Cougars the
works, everything but the key to the
city. Middleton and Lowe led the
Freshmen in an attack that swept
the Cougars off their feet. The visitors battered the Cougars from one
end of the court to the other, taking
many shots at the basket and sinking enough to tie the score in the third
period and take the lead in the final
eight minutes of play.
The freshmen played ball up to the
last minute, at no time attempting to
freeze the ball when thev were on
the heavy end of the score.
High point man for the Teachers
was Lowe with four field goals and
three free throws. Eaton led the Cougars with three field goals.
Referee: Russell Keith, Southwest-
Time keeper, Louis Bilao, Texas.
Cougare— Position Teachers—
Mathews . . Barden
Substitutions for the Cougars:
Turk, Nesmith, Jeter, Yelverton, Dupree; substitutions for the Teachers,
Whitley, Rogers Loue, Camp, McKen-
WOOD & PURDY
SPORTING GOODS COMPANY
Athletic Outfitters :: Felt Emblems and Pennants Made to Order
Hunting and Fishing Supplies
Phone Capitol 2613 1317 Capitol Avenue
POST OFFICE PHARMACY
1124 Capitol Avenue
Phones: Fairfax 1480-3820-6783
Light Lunches — Special Toasted Sandwiches
Chili and Tamales
Prompt, Efficient Service to Students
Kirby's Pressing Shop
L. C. Kirby, Prop.
PHOXE PRESTON 5931
American Shoe Shop
George Wilkes, Prop.
SHOE REPAIRING, SHOE
1120 CAPITOL AVE.
GRIGGS LECTURE SERIES
TAYLOR SCHOOL AUDITORIUM
FINE ARTS SERIES 4:15 P.M.
SHAKESPEARIAN SERIES 8:00 P.M.
Single Lecture 75c
Either Series J200
FREE LECTURE SUNDAY, JANUARY 19, 3:00 P. M.
Sidney Lanier Junior High School Auditorium
SUBJECT: "Robert E. Lee—American Warrior—Hero of