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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933
File 003
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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933 - File 003. March 22, 1933. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. October 20, 2019. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/226/show/224.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(March 22, 1933). The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933 - File 003. Daily Cougar. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/226/show/224

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933 - File 003, March 22, 1933, Daily Cougar, University of Houston Libraries, accessed October 20, 2019, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/226/show/224.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933
Alternative Title The Cougar, Vol. VI, No. 9, March 22, 1933
Contributor
  • Julian, James L.
Date March 22, 1933
Language English
Description From title page: "Published by the journalism students of the Houston Junior College."
Subject
  • College student newspapers and periodicals
  • University of Houston
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier LH1.H6 C6; OCLC: 10270243
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • University of Houston Archives
Rights In Copyright - Copyright Owner Unlocatable or Unidentifiable
Item Description
Title File 003
Transcript THE COUGAR SCANDAL SHEET Hello everybody, here's your new Walter Chinwell: I see Wilma (gorgeous) Lindsey has a new coiffeur, and it's even more alluring— my personal nomination for H. J. C.'s best boaster in Pat (Tootpick) Foley (ever hear him brag about Ann?) . . . Who is that certain boy friend that waits for Betty Starley every night ? None other than Jerome "Slim" Ross (Rice student) ... if any boy desires his heart broken, just let him look up Katherine Berry . . . Jen E. Wait giggles more than any girl I know . . . Jessie Darling (Junior College darling) seems to be that a way about Nell Wade (and she's mighty little and cute) . . . Wonder what charm it is that Andrew Shebay has over the girls? Is it his sex appeal?" . . . Charles (Smile) Miller raves about a certain person named Roberta Starks. Ever see him waiting for her in front of Miss Thomason's room ? . . . This issue by Minnie's request is dedicated to her. She had her name jerked from some gossip that was in this column Wonder where her friend Libbie was? . . . Don't you just love Paul Nordling's salutation—a wink of his eye . . . Mr. Birney runs Walter Chinwell a close race when it comes to knowing secrets. Don't let him know you have any . . . Bill Henderson's face reminds me of a schoolgirls' complexion (that is, when just shaven) . . . Israel (tto smart) Rabinowitz has his quiet moments ... I wonder if Totsie (sweet tooth) Stettner knows how exceedingly fortunate he is — The reason Helen Friedman . . . Saw J. J. Ross at school unshaven and sleepy on the evening of March 6th. (reasons, JJ?- ??)... I wonder if Saul Cobb wouldn't mind coming down to earth (a certain young girl would like to meet him . . . Will any one tell me who Dot'Golden's real heart's desire is? . . . Kitty (popular) Hurlock has been going out pretty steady. Too bad fellows ... A pretty newcomer is Peggy Fisher. Already she is forgetting Rice Institute and is "conquesting" H. J. C. lads.—Well folks, I have to be going! SHORTSANDSPATS BY EVELYN COFFEY Are We Sparing the Rod What is wrong with the older generation?" The younger generation believes this is a legitimate and timely question. The status between parent and child is undergoing a change, and the children are awakening to the realization that the change is not for the best. Carpet-baggers, working in the ranks of the parents, are spreading malicious doctrines of a hypocritical and unjust emancipation, and the older generation is foolishly warming to their dogma. The following cases have been brought to the attention of the writer of this column, and show in frightful reality just how far the self- styled "emancipation" movement of the parents has been allowed to go: "I have always been kind to my parents," says Jimmie Brinkley, "and have raised them under the Monte- sorri system, starting them out with sets of varied sized blocks to be fitted into corresponding holder, and gradually working up to the proper splitting of kindling wood. I was entertaining a few friends yesterday at my home when Father entered the room without permission and, to my great mortification, crudely suggested that I dismiss my friends. "My friends were as greatly concerned as myself over this outburst, and hurried home to look after their own parents. Am I at fault, some- PAGE WATSON! THERE'S SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS AFOOT—OR MAYBE IT IS JUST LEAVES RUSTLING One evening about two months ago, I was rummaging thru the effects of my paternal ancestor, the late Herr Brush. Suddenly, I came across a most interesting scroll literally submerged in hyrogliphics. I immediately recognized it as one of the many ancient and original manuscripts that my ancestor made a habit of collecting. Sensing a momentous literary discovery and everlasting fame for myself, I immediately set about translating the hyrogliphics into Greek and then into English. After about six weeks of working thirty-six hours a day, I knew that success had come to me at last. The scroll was the outline and part of the score of the famous opera "Gesundheit Charley" by that dean of all German composers, Epsen Saultz. A condensed version follows: Act One Scene: A local speakeasy Opening Chorus: "Cuh-ray-ztee Peepul" Solo: "Here it is Monday and I still got a dollar" Oscar Hemmingway; the hero Solo: "I'm your for tonight" Iva Payne; the heroine. Ditto: "I'm getting sentimental over you." Oscar; Same: "Puh-leez Mr. Hemmingway" Duet: "Let's go on a party" Mr. Hemmingway and Miss Payne Chorus: "She Didn't say yes; she didn't say No" Curtain; End Act One Act Two Orchestra: "At Dawning" Duet: "Pink Elephants" Hemmingway and Payi Solo: "Look What You've Done to Me" Solo: lasted' Miss Payne "It was wonderful while Pat Foley and Harold Renfro in a florist shop. Pat: "So you wire flowers." Operator: "Yes." Pat: "Well wire me to New York I'm a pansy." Operator turning to Harold: "And you sir." ,: "Oh, I'm just a black-eyed susan. Imagine— 11 Jenkins wearing the tight pants she was telling about. (Basketball pants of course). Evelyn Bashera light and willing. We think that chewing gum is a vulgar habit. The following people chew gum. Dorothy Golden, Frances Jordan, Frances Nesmith, Helen Wood, Jessie Darling, Mary Cohen, id Oh! The whole darned school. Kitty Hurlock just swishes along. Mr. Miller," says Mildred Learned, "frightens me to death." I'll bet he sticks his thumb in his ears and wiggles his fingers. When will the faculty volley ball team play the girls volley ball team ? Warren L.: "May I kiss you?" Marian R.: "Have you ever been kissed before?" '. L.: "No." . R.: "Go ahead then, I don't like people who kiss and then tell." Helen Gould is a pretty swell girl. She can ride, play tennis, skate, and swim just like a man, but I'll bet she can't scratch matches where my dad does. Have you seen the four people who call themselves the racketeers? They are "Shorty" Sparks, "Kid" Jordan, Lucy, and Lucy. Overheard at the zoo. Charlie Shearn. "Good Heavens, something's wrong with me. "Shorty" Wilke," Sick?" C. S. "Nay, Just the fact that that elephant over there isn't pink. Mack Douglas, "How did th Eagle become the national emblem ? J. C. Allwright: "He isn't national yet. He was only elected to congress a few weeks ago. (The following letters were found accidently, but if you don't believe i, send us a ?5.00 bill and we will give proof.) The Cougar: As long as I have to pay for that slice of newsprint you call a paper, why don't you put something in it worth reading. It wouldn't be so terrible if you would leave out everything but the business manager's it . ■■-, ,-.,■ ..■ here's Minnie Topek gentle how? Have I spared the rod and spoiled the parent?" "Father is upset," Eugene Harris says, "so I stay away from home as much as possible, only sleeping and taking my meals there. Father knows that I never rise before noon and in the past has been considerate enough to make as little noise as possible while I was sleeping, but yesterday he woke me at ten o'clock to read me a letter that came in the morning mail. My day was ruined. "If this keeps up much longer, I think I'll send him down the river." The experience reported by Paul Nordling is an especially alarming I one: And reader. We are sorry that we cannot sat- sfy everyone, but as this is an institution of higher learning, we must appeal to the cultured, refined, and ambitious students. There is no room in our columns for the vulgar nonsense and low wit which would appeal to the very few. So we will continue to print only the highest quality of literature as usual. The Editors. Second National Bank Gentlemen: We are uniting in a body to ask your assistance helping us to get our frozen assets in your good bank, totaling $13.76. We are now eating only one meal a day twice a week, and part of this we feed to the wolf at our door to keep him from starv- Yours truly Mr. Dupree Mr. Birney Mr. French Houston School Board: Gentlemen: We are counting very much on you this summer, and will certainly feel slighted if you do not issue orders to keep all the boilers running full blast with the windows closed.. All this winter these said boilers have had cobwebs on them, and there are more drafts than dizzy ideas in the school. Yours for more heat in the summer, and none, as usual, in the winter. The student Body, with ears frozen. STOP ME! IF YOU HAVE HEARD THIS ONE BY MILTON GREGORY rest unanswered! Youth is an awakening to its responsibilities toward the older generation, Screwiest Gags '0 the Month Garnett Pickett has heard it said that often a girl has to choose tween a four-cylinder shiek in a six teen-cylinder car and sixteen- cylinder shiek in a four cylinder car. When the telephone company shuts off your phone because of an un- BUGS BLACK BLOOD cannot be aid twice quickly. Try it. Mt. Everest is not the highest mountain in the world. Mt. Chimborazo, in Ecuador is 2*A miles higher. It is impossible to see the sun, which is only 92,000,000 miles away from us. It takes the sun's rays eight minutes and thirty-eight sec- ids to reach our planet. In the meantime the sun has moved, and is really two of its own diameters away from the spot on which we seem to see it. this 1 Place a jug of water on the ground in front of a bumble nest—stir up the bees—and they will fly into the jug one at a time. And drown! A guaranteed trick! Cleopatra, the famous Egyptian queen of antiquity, noted for her wisdom and beauty, was a direct descendant of four generations of of brother and sister marriages. She en married two of her own broth- s and aftewards killed them. Cheese can be sliced thinner with a dull knife than with a sharp knife. An Indian fakir of Bengal held 3 hand aloft for 10 years, until little bird built its nest within his immobile palm. The Battle of Waterloo was not fought at Waterloo at all. Oranges, Watermelons, and lemons are not fruit, neither are they vegetables. They are berries! Can you prove that half of 12 is 7? Few drops of black paint will make a can of white paint whiter. John Paul Jones, United States Naval Hero, was not an American citizen, did not command a fleet of American ships, and his name was not Jones. "I am not here" is a sentence entirely correct. Yet—it can never be used. Leuben, famous German lunatic, bet that he could turn up a pack of cards in a certain order. He turned the cards 10 hours a day for 20 years, exactly 4,246,023 times be- he succeeded. Mr. H As thunder crashes, Anacute Payne, the girl's father enters a shotgun. Solo: "Good-bye forever" Hemmingway Exit Hemmingway (fast) Solo: "You Better Run, You Rascal You" Mr. Payne Curtain Orchestra: "Goofus" Epilogue Solo: "And So I Married the Girl" Mr. Hemmingway Curtain (collection of fruit and vegetables.) p,S.—I just looked at the other side of the scroll and discovered it to be a roll of 1887 wall paper. The hyrogliphics were fly-specks I guess. paid bill, concedes Henriette Daigle, there's no use talking. "I came home at three o'clock one morning recently," he says, "after spending «n exceedingly pleasant ,tem8 of „„„ or LMg In(ere9t evening with my companions. Refreshments had been served and I Practically, the whole of H. J. C.'s was still feeling fine when I crossed ma]e population is competing for the family threshold. My parents Daisy *** and Mae Gahlke's smiles, were sittng up waiting for me, and Marion Adams, an honorary mem- accused me in no uncertain terms of ber of the Pi Betas, has recently being "lit" Can you tie that? And, been elected president of the Delta besides, they had nothing to base Pbi Epsilon fraternity at the Uni- their acusations on except that I varsity of Texas, had knocked over the bureau during (Local boy makes good) my progress into the house. For the benefit of Pat Foley who "Is this the answer, the climax to Iikes to 8ee his name in Print—Pat the years I have devoted to the Foley- Pat Fol«y> pa* Foiey. Pa bringing-up of my parents? This FoIey- happpened only today. What new Romantic Echoes sorrow and degradation will they Harold Renfro's new love is Sissy bring down upon me tomerrow? I O'Neale. Reporting his many ro- shudder and wait!" mances is a task. But these questions will not long' Despite the amorous glances and sugary words of Nell Wade an Jesse Darling, I think it's madness.. Com Weaver again has the inside trick in Mildred Learned's affections, with George Hedrick running a close second. Rumors persist, as this is written, that Fulto Renfro is that-a-way about Frances Nesmith. This Catherine Berry—Pat Foley romance, which is one of those on- again-off-again things, is on again at present. Euphonious Adjectives Serene—Esther Tejml Vermillion—Jenny Wait Whoopee—Kitty Hurlock Chic—Ruth El rod Glamorous—Virginia Cotton Mr. V. T. is in the kitchen washing up the jugs. Mr. J. is in the cellar bottling up the suds. Mr. W. is in the parlor putting oa the tops. Mr. B. is on the porch watching; for the cops.
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