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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933
File 002
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The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933 - File 002. March 22, 1933. University of Houston Libraries. University of Houston Digital Library. Web. October 20, 2019. https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/226/show/223.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

(March 22, 1933). The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933 - File 002. Daily Cougar. University of Houston Libraries. Retrieved from https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/226/show/223

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933 - File 002, March 22, 1933, Daily Cougar, University of Houston Libraries, accessed October 20, 2019, https://digital.lib.uh.edu/collection/10270243/item/226/show/223.

Disclaimer: This is a general citation for reference purposes. Please consult the most recent edition of your style manual for the proper formatting of the type of source you are citing. If the date given in the citation does not match the date on the digital item, use the more accurate date below the digital item.

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Title The Cougar, Vol. 6, No. 9, March 22, 1933
Alternative Title The Cougar, Vol. VI, No. 9, March 22, 1933
Contributor
  • Julian, James L.
Date March 22, 1933
Language English
Description From title page: "Published by the journalism students of the Houston Junior College."
Subject
  • College student newspapers and periodicals
  • University of Houston
Place
  • Houston, Texas
Genre
  • newspapers
Type
  • Text
Identifier LH1.H6 C6; OCLC: 10270243
Collection
  • University of Houston Libraries Special Collections
  • University of Houston Archives
Rights In Copyright - Copyright Owner Unlocatable or Unidentifiable
Item Description
Title File 002
Transcript THE COUGAR THE COUGAR Editor Assistant Editor Associate Editor Managing Editor Faculty Advisor James Julian L. P. Marshall C. W. Skipper A. Marks F. R. Birney Departmental Exchange .-... Frances Nesmith Humor Bob Stallings, Elmer Hamilton News .. John Hill, Jesse Darling Feature Mesta Waggoner Literary Evelyn Coffey, Milton Gregory Sports Richard Macfee MUD'NYEREYE Business Advertising Manager Kitty Hurlock Business Manager . Minnie Topek Assistant Business Manager Libbye Lewis Reporters Elizabeth King, Cortis Lawrence, Flossie White, Tommie Cooksey, Isabel McDaniel, Mrs. Ruby Britton, Max Cohen, Nell Wade, Mary Elizabeth Horan, Ethel Falk. THE ADVANTAGES OF A COLLEGE EDUCATION IS SHOWN IN THIS OBVIOUSLY TRUE ONE-ACT PLAY Scene: An office, where applicants are being interviewed for a job. Characters: Business man, and student from H. J. C. (or other col lege). B. M.: What is your name? Stude: I'm Bill Jones, from Houston Junior College. B. M.r So you are a college man. eh? S.: Yes sir, I certainly am. B. M.: We need young college men of your caliber in our business—men with ambition, enthusiasm, and above all, knowledge; and with the ability to use it. S.: That's what we get in college, all right. B. M.: You won't mind if I ask you a few questions before I show you where your desk is. S.: No sir; go right ahead. B. M.: Well, here is an easy one— "What do you think of the League of Nations will do to the Sino-Jap- anese situation.?" S.: To tell you the truth, sir, I took history for two years, but that only brought us up to the American Revolutionary war, so I really can't say anything about the League. B. M.: What about arithmetic? Are you good at figures? S.: Well, I used to be while I was in high school, but our professor has been dealing entirely with proving that a circle is square, and that 4 is greater than 6, and the theory of infinity, I am now just a bit rusty on the multiplication table. B. M.: I see. Did you have any courses in science? S.: Yes sir, I took biology. I can tell you offhand ten characteristics of the amoeba, and I made an A in dissecting earthworms, but I don't know very much about human biology. [.: That's peculiar. Just to save time, you tell me some of your qualifications for this position. S.: I can recite "Chaucer" and Paradise Lost." B. M.: What else? S.: I was in a Dramatic Club at school. Maybe you will let me use of my talent to sell customers your merchandise. .: People don't exactly like to have a dramatic salesman call on them these days. S.: My thesis on "Plant Life Antarctic Regions" won a prize. Are you interested in anything about why cabbage won't grow at South Pole? M.: (getting ruffled) No! there anything you can do that ie worthwhile ? S.: I can debate. Do you need a good debater to write your letters? .: Hell No. And I don't need you or any other of you smart college guys in my business. Here's your hat, but don't hurry off. That modest violet, Pat Foley, ha: developed an inferiority complex. Hi recently admitted that there were some pretty good guys in the school besides him. Minnie Topek recently met with disaster at the hands of that Darling boy Jesse. And right in the halls of the school too. And who around this school would look good with a fractured skull? 'Svengali" Robinowitz has taken up polo, but you won't get 'em mixed Who ever saw a horse wearing glasses. Paddlefoot" Aitken, the guy with the good understanding, kinda gets around. He's probably been over ire ground than any three people school. There are a lot of swell dishes around this school, but most of them are slightly cracked. There were many fair damsels disappointed last week because they didn't go to the Sophomore Prom with "Mountain Lion" Mills. Those wishing to go with him to the next dance will please file their names at the office, giving age and past experience. MS2E2K2S.V- S E 'K5&253K thru the . JACED SQUOINTS KAMPUS KEYHOLE BY SEYMOUR SCANDAL SEEN AT THE PROM A little boy punished by his mother and that night he prayed thus: "Dear Lord, bless papa, sister and brother, and make me a good boy.— Amen. Then looking up at his mother he said "I guest you noticed you were not in it," Housewife—"This morning, my husband threw a biscuit at me. A biscuit I made myself." Neighbor—"The idea! It might have killed you." Salesman—Ladies and gentlemen, I have here the famous flexible comb that will stand any kind of treatment. You can bend it double—you can hit it with a hammer—you can twist it— you can Interested Listener—Say mister, can you comb your hair with it? Foreman: (on excavation job) "Do you think you are fit for really hard Applicant: "Well, some of the best judges in the country have thought An old colored man." said the minister, came to me one day with the request that I pray for his floating kidney." Why, Sam! I remonstrated, 'how do you expect me to pray for some particular thing like that!" "Wall, parson, 'Sam retorted, 'las' week you all was a-praying* for de loose livers." Babies are bom with only one emotion—fear! The fear of falling, thru lack of support. Fairfax Moody looking like a mil lion dollars and dancing the same way. Mr. French showing the boys how they hi de hied twenty odd years :o. Red Coulson with his dream girl Dorothy Wiser. Mountain Lion" Milts running wild. Sissy O'Neal, about as cute a girl you'll find at any old prom. The orchestra leader "little Cab" getting hot. Ethel Margaret Falk, a beautiful addition to Junior College dances. Escorted by Rip Harrison, in person. Harold Renfro, taxing his mentality to the utmost by working in the check room. Mary Stephenson looking as swell as ever. Mrs. Bender, Mrs. Hooker, and Mrs. Ebaugh. Frances Bates giving the boys a break. John Hill, the man women dream about, lighting up a weed. A couple of San Jacinto girls, Kate Norman and Marjorie Cheek. Virginia Moran and Evelyn Coffey two more reasons why the dance was a success. Melvin Feeney trying to figure out the score. Don Aitken, we mention him last because after all he's just the president, breathing just a little more freely each time a bid was bought. Don deserves a lot of credit for working as he did to put this dance over. The Sophomore class picked a darn good president. When? Why this year, ya mug. J!£££J£2]gM5£5 To give an appropriate opening for this column, we will defend the name of a fair lady. An unknown scribe stated in the Cougar that a certain female lab assistant (J.J.) was that way about a certain male ditto (J. B.). As we would like to right a great wrong, we will refute that statement and print the truth. It is not Jack that Jeneva is interested in, but an individual who shall ie known in these fair sheets Tubby". Thanks J. C. FLASH: Information on the other party mentioned above has just been received. Jack used to visit a lass in San Antonio, but it appears that he has loved and lost. Betty was her name, and while the cause of the ) break is not known for sure, we think it is because he arrived home one afternoon at 2 o'clock in his evening clothes. Which reminds us of the saying, "Love knows no time." Now that we have seen Elmer Hamilton, creator of Shorts and Spats, in his spats, we would like to see him in his oh pshaw, YOU say it! And you should read the letters a former San Jacinto boy writes M. E. Horan from A.&M. She also received letters from from a boy who writes from Austin on T. U. paper. Can it be that Miss Horan cannot get interested in local boys, or is it the opposite? Dopey Daniel would like to know why Sitting Bull couldn't take out Squatters' Rights. Call Mesta Waggoner "S. A. E." and duck. It all started several issues back when she edited the Cougar, Girls' Cagers— Continued from page 1 mended for the way is which she coached her team and for- the fine sportsmanlike spirit which prevailed at all games. Prospects are bright for another star team next year to be built around Avis Parks and Jenny Wait who will both be back in school then. Miss Spess announces now that basketball is over a girls indoor baseball team will be formed and invites girls interested to get in touch with her at once. Lisa: "Ah wants to git a pair o' ■hoes fo' my little gal." Salesman: "Black kid?" Liza: "Yo mind yo own business and git dem shoes." The best way we know of to get ahead is first to get a head. Minnie Topek, the co-ed who sells advertising for the Cougar and who has nominated herself as H. J. C.'s most popular girl, violates a journalism rule by turning in stories written on both sides of the paper. One well-meaning lad who misunderstood her reasons, offered to give her a sheet of paper. Did that gal blow up! Ignatz the Inventor tells us how to make a million. He says to make jig-saw puzzles out of the plates that little Willie drops while helping mother with the dishes. We realize that all good things must come to an end, so we close this column with regret. While we admit that this is a rather tame start the student will co-operate by sending bits of scandal to Seymour Scandal, we promise to furnish you with more entertainment by next issue. —TNX. MURDOCK GOES IN CLEANING BUSINESS Grady Murdock, popular Junior College student, invites his friends to give him a trial with their cleaning and pressing business. Murdock is paying his way thru school from the returns of his business. Satisfaction is guaranteed on every job with the slogan "Economy yet Efficiency" predominating. special contract enables Murdock to compete with the establishments that advertise cleaning at reduced prices. A call to Wayside 5098 will bring a driver to your door. Trust Donald Aitken for surprises. Now we learn that the Annual Soph Ball, which really whiched on March 17, positively did not have committees on decorations, entrances and exits, et al. And Tommy Cat Feeney advertised in THE LOW DOWN as slain by Kitty Cat Norman in favor of Mountain Lion Mills too heartily and vo- :iferous!y denies all. Yowsa . . . Chili Spenser and Wilma Lindsay are two good reasons for buying at half-past halleujah the morning. Does Fred Aebi want gas now? Not particularly plotting, but John Hill and Horace Mills were alone together rathah late in Le- Blanc's the other night. Query is: do those gigolos discard dates before taking nourishment or are they just girl and fancy free. Cork: "Well, well, here comes Horald Renfro, Fred Aebi, and LeRoy Melcher." Pint: "Good-bye forever old pal." Which indeedy is an ancient but appropriate joke. Mary Lou Gaines and Lulu Grace Kellogg are ex-college basketball players of cheerful characteristics. Can't someone keep such girls in Junior College! Mr. Harris sadly gives up volleyball because of the flu. The 7:30 to 8:30 p. m. gymnasts say they'll miss that congenial personality. Mr. Dupre, Mr. Ledlow and other members of the faculty also used to drop in. Flu doens't excuse their not having shown up lately. Even watch Lucy Grady at an H. J. C. RECEPTION? Not so humorous—she can really dance. Some of these scintillating shadows might well gain poundage if they would pound the dance floors as easily as does Lucy. She can follow like Mary's Iamb—but don't follow her too closely when she leads the dance. Lucy's no tripping damsel, but she's fallen once or twice. Really— Continued from page 1 to give the sound effect of horse's hoofs approaching.) James: "Did youse ever hear de time I almost licked Dem " Director French: "Shut up! All that you are supposed to say is 'no* Can you remember that?" James: "No." Director French: "Correct. Now go ahead, Mr. Renfro." Harold: "I will save you fair maiden!" Director French: "Go ahead Jul- n. What is the matter?" James: "Gee, I've forgotten me lines!" Women's Club— Continued from page 1 social. It was organized during the fall of 1931. At present there are 25 members in the club, including women of the college teaching staff and wives of the men faculty members. Mrs. W. H. Miner is the chairman of the association, Mrs. E. E. Oberholtzer is hororary chairman, and . Sue Thomason vice-chairman. Mose: "What is yo' all doing now, Rastus?" Raatus: "I'se a cafeteria blacksmith." Mose: "What do yo' do?" Rastus: "I shoo flies."
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