L. P. Marshall
C. W. Skipper
F. R. Birney
Exchange .-... Frances Nesmith
Humor Bob Stallings, Elmer Hamilton
News .. John Hill, Jesse Darling
Feature Mesta Waggoner
Literary Evelyn Coffey, Milton Gregory
Sports Richard Macfee
Advertising Manager Kitty Hurlock
Business Manager . Minnie Topek
Assistant Business Manager Libbye Lewis
Elizabeth King, Cortis Lawrence, Flossie White, Tommie Cooksey, Isabel
McDaniel, Mrs. Ruby Britton, Max Cohen, Nell Wade, Mary Elizabeth
Horan, Ethel Falk.
THE ADVANTAGES OF A COLLEGE
EDUCATION IS SHOWN IN THIS
OBVIOUSLY TRUE ONE-ACT PLAY
Scene: An office, where applicants
are being interviewed for a job.
Characters: Business man, and
student from H. J. C. (or other col
B. M.: What is your name?
Stude: I'm Bill Jones, from Houston Junior College.
B. M.r So you are a college man. eh?
S.: Yes sir, I certainly am.
B. M.: We need young college men
of your caliber in our business—men
with ambition, enthusiasm, and above
all, knowledge; and with the ability
to use it.
S.: That's what we get in college,
B. M.: You won't mind if I ask you
a few questions before I show you
where your desk is.
S.: No sir; go right ahead.
B. M.: Well, here is an easy one—
"What do you think of the League
of Nations will do to the Sino-Jap-
S.: To tell you the truth, sir, I
took history for two years, but that
only brought us up to the American
Revolutionary war, so I really can't
say anything about the League.
B. M.: What about arithmetic?
Are you good at figures?
S.: Well, I used to be while I was
in high school, but our professor has
been dealing entirely with proving
that a circle is square, and that 4
is greater than 6, and the theory of
infinity, I am now just a bit rusty on
the multiplication table.
B. M.: I see. Did you have any
courses in science?
S.: Yes sir, I took biology. I can
tell you offhand ten characteristics
of the amoeba, and I made an A in
dissecting earthworms, but I don't
know very much about human biology.
[.: That's peculiar. Just to
save time, you tell me some of your
qualifications for this position.
S.: I can recite "Chaucer" and
B. M.: What else?
S.: I was in a Dramatic Club at
school. Maybe you will let me use
of my talent to sell customers
.: People don't exactly like
to have a dramatic salesman call on
them these days.
S.: My thesis on "Plant Life
Antarctic Regions" won a prize. Are
you interested in anything about
why cabbage won't grow at
M.: (getting ruffled) No!
there anything you can do that ie
S.: I can debate. Do you need a
good debater to write your letters?
.: Hell No. And I don't need
you or any other of you smart college guys in my business. Here's
your hat, but don't hurry off.
That modest violet, Pat Foley, ha:
developed an inferiority complex. Hi
recently admitted that there were
some pretty good guys in the school
Minnie Topek recently met with
disaster at the hands of that Darling
boy Jesse. And right in the halls
of the school too.
And who around this school would
look good with a fractured skull?
'Svengali" Robinowitz has taken
up polo, but you won't get 'em mixed
Who ever saw a horse wearing
Paddlefoot" Aitken, the guy with
the good understanding, kinda gets
around. He's probably been over
ire ground than any three people
There are a lot of swell dishes
around this school, but most of them
are slightly cracked.
There were many fair damsels disappointed last week because they
didn't go to the Sophomore Prom
with "Mountain Lion" Mills. Those
wishing to go with him to the next
dance will please file their names at
the office, giving age and past experience.
MS2E2K2S.V- S E 'K5&253K
thru the . JACED SQUOINTS
BY SEYMOUR SCANDAL
SEEN AT THE PROM
A little boy punished by his mother
and that night he prayed thus:
"Dear Lord, bless papa, sister and
brother, and make me a good boy.—
Then looking up at his mother he
said "I guest you noticed you were
not in it,"
Housewife—"This morning, my
husband threw a biscuit at me. A
biscuit I made myself."
Neighbor—"The idea! It might
have killed you."
Salesman—Ladies and gentlemen,
I have here the famous flexible comb
that will stand any kind of treatment. You can bend it double—you
can hit it with a hammer—you can
twist it— you can
Interested Listener—Say mister,
can you comb your hair with it?
Foreman: (on excavation job) "Do
you think you are fit for really hard
Applicant: "Well, some of the best
judges in the country have thought
An old colored man." said the
minister, came to me one day with
the request that I pray for his floating kidney."
Why, Sam! I remonstrated, 'how
do you expect me to pray for some
particular thing like that!"
"Wall, parson, 'Sam retorted, 'las'
week you all was a-praying* for de
Babies are bom with only one emotion—fear! The fear of falling, thru
lack of support.
Fairfax Moody looking like a mil
lion dollars and dancing the same
Mr. French showing the boys how
they hi de hied twenty odd years
Red Coulson with his dream girl
Mountain Lion" Milts running
Sissy O'Neal, about as cute a girl
you'll find at any old prom.
The orchestra leader "little Cab"
Ethel Margaret Falk, a beautiful
addition to Junior College dances.
Escorted by Rip Harrison, in person.
Harold Renfro, taxing his mentality to the utmost by working in the
Mary Stephenson looking as swell
Mrs. Bender, Mrs. Hooker, and
Frances Bates giving the boys a
John Hill, the man women dream
about, lighting up a weed.
A couple of San Jacinto girls, Kate
Norman and Marjorie Cheek.
Virginia Moran and Evelyn Coffey
two more reasons why the dance was
Melvin Feeney trying to figure out
Don Aitken, we mention him last
because after all he's just the president, breathing just a little more
freely each time a bid was bought.
Don deserves a lot of credit for
working as he did to put this dance
over. The Sophomore class picked
a darn good president. When? Why
this year, ya mug.
To give an appropriate opening
for this column, we will defend the
name of a fair lady. An unknown
scribe stated in the Cougar that
a certain female lab assistant (J.J.)
was that way about a certain male
ditto (J. B.). As we would like to
right a great wrong, we will refute
that statement and print the truth.
It is not Jack that Jeneva is interested in, but an individual who shall
ie known in these fair sheets
Tubby". Thanks J. C.
FLASH: Information on the other
party mentioned above has just been
received. Jack used to visit a lass in
San Antonio, but it appears that he
has loved and lost. Betty was her
name, and while the cause of the
) break is not known for sure, we
think it is because he arrived home
one afternoon at 2 o'clock in his
evening clothes. Which reminds us
of the saying, "Love knows no time."
Now that we have seen Elmer Hamilton, creator of Shorts and Spats,
in his spats, we would like to see
him in his oh pshaw, YOU
And you should read the letters
a former San Jacinto boy writes
M. E. Horan from A.&M. She also received letters from from a boy who
writes from Austin on T. U. paper.
Can it be that Miss Horan cannot
get interested in local boys, or is it
Dopey Daniel would like to know
why Sitting Bull couldn't take out
Call Mesta Waggoner "S. A. E."
and duck. It all started several issues back when she edited the
Continued from page 1
mended for the way is which she
coached her team and for- the fine
sportsmanlike spirit which prevailed
at all games. Prospects are bright
for another star team next year to
be built around Avis Parks and Jenny Wait who will both be back in
school then. Miss Spess announces
now that basketball is over a girls
indoor baseball team will be formed
and invites girls interested to get
in touch with her at once.
Lisa: "Ah wants to git a pair o'
■hoes fo' my little gal."
Salesman: "Black kid?"
Liza: "Yo mind yo own business
and git dem shoes."
The best way we know of to get
ahead is first to get a head.
Minnie Topek, the co-ed who sells
advertising for the Cougar and who
has nominated herself as H. J. C.'s
most popular girl, violates a journalism rule by turning in stories
written on both sides of the paper.
One well-meaning lad who misunderstood her reasons, offered to give
her a sheet of paper. Did that gal
Ignatz the Inventor tells us how
to make a million. He says to make
jig-saw puzzles out of the plates
that little Willie drops while helping
mother with the dishes.
We realize that all good things
must come to an end, so we close
this column with regret. While we
admit that this is a rather tame start
the student will co-operate by
sending bits of scandal to Seymour
Scandal, we promise to furnish you
with more entertainment by next
MURDOCK GOES IN
Grady Murdock, popular Junior
College student, invites his friends
to give him a trial with their cleaning and pressing business.
Murdock is paying his way thru
school from the returns of his business. Satisfaction is guaranteed on
every job with the slogan "Economy
yet Efficiency" predominating.
special contract enables Murdock to compete with the establishments that advertise cleaning at reduced prices.
A call to Wayside 5098 will bring
a driver to your door.
Trust Donald Aitken for surprises.
Now we learn that the Annual Soph
Ball, which really whiched on March
17, positively did not have committees on decorations, entrances and
exits, et al.
And Tommy Cat Feeney advertised
in THE LOW DOWN as slain by
Kitty Cat Norman in favor of Mountain Lion Mills too heartily and vo-
:iferous!y denies all.
Yowsa . . . Chili Spenser and Wilma Lindsay are two good reasons
for buying at half-past halleujah
the morning. Does Fred Aebi
want gas now?
Not particularly plotting, but
John Hill and Horace Mills were
alone together rathah late in Le-
Blanc's the other night. Query is:
do those gigolos discard dates before
taking nourishment or are they just
girl and fancy free.
Cork: "Well, well, here comes
Horald Renfro, Fred Aebi, and LeRoy Melcher."
Pint: "Good-bye forever old pal."
Which indeedy is an ancient but appropriate joke.
Mary Lou Gaines and Lulu Grace
Kellogg are ex-college basketball
players of cheerful characteristics.
Can't someone keep such girls in
Mr. Harris sadly gives up volleyball
because of the flu. The 7:30 to 8:30
p. m. gymnasts say they'll miss that
Mr. Dupre, Mr. Ledlow and other
members of the faculty also used to
drop in. Flu doens't excuse their not
having shown up lately.
Even watch Lucy Grady at an H.
J. C. RECEPTION? Not so humorous—she can really dance. Some of
these scintillating shadows might
well gain poundage if they would
pound the dance floors as easily as
does Lucy. She can follow like
Mary's Iamb—but don't follow her
too closely when she leads the dance.
Lucy's no tripping damsel, but she's
fallen once or twice.
Continued from page 1
to give the sound effect of horse's
James: "Did youse ever hear de
time I almost licked Dem "
Director French: "Shut up! All
that you are supposed to say is 'no*
Can you remember that?"
Director French: "Correct. Now go
ahead, Mr. Renfro."
Harold: "I will save you fair
Director French: "Go ahead Jul-
n. What is the matter?"
James: "Gee, I've forgotten me
Continued from page 1
social. It was organized during the
fall of 1931. At present there are
25 members in the club, including
women of the college teaching staff
and wives of the men faculty members.
Mrs. W. H. Miner is the chairman
of the association, Mrs. E. E. Oberholtzer is hororary chairman, and
. Sue Thomason vice-chairman.
Mose: "What is yo' all doing now,
Raatus: "I'se a cafeteria blacksmith."
Mose: "What do yo' do?"
Rastus: "I shoo flies."