TH E COUGAR
Some Efforts From the Literati
A recent assignment on "The College Flivver" made by Mr. Birney to
his class in feature writing, unearthed
a number of literary gems, some of
which are printed below. In view of
the number of "collegiate flivvers"
now in use at Junior College, It is
believed that these stories will be of
interest to Cougar readers.
An Auto-biography of a
—Mrs. P. B. Nagel.
She knows you should ride In the Old I For he'd bought a big car arid a Span-
College Flivver. ish style home,
Though instead of payin' up, he'd
So he lorded it over the office
Until I got tired of his whim
An' told him I was tired—then he said
I was fired,
X learned about bosses front
By GEORGE LANAUX
Seven short years ago I made my
bow to the public. Seven short years
ago I was a sparkling new flivver,
but to look at me now, no one would
think that I have known better days.
It brings joy to my pulsing carburetor
to look back upon that summer of '22
when I enjoyed the thrill of carrying
no less a personage than his honor,
the mayor, on his frequent tours of the
But my days among the city's great
were numbered, and it was a year
before the mayor forsook me for a car
of much higher price, which, I assure
you, did not fill that gentleman's
quirements one jot or tittle better
than I. My next duty, although the
work was devilish hard, was one in
which I displayed my great ability
in serving the public. The man for
whom I slaved operated a filling station, and it was I who brought gas
and tires to cars in distress. The
causo was a worthy one—I served It
faithfully for five thankless years,
and then, my sparkle dulled, my frame
weakened, my lights dimmed by the
ceaseless toil, I was sold: I, exchanged
for a paltry handful of glittering silver
My cup indeed is bitter. The one
who bought me was—Oh God! he was
a college man. My worthy radiator
bows in shame—I am an object of
pity, but am I pitied? Not in the
least, and why: all because this drooling idiot of a college man insists on
painting me a dozen different colors,
any one of which would madden a
bull, and, too, he will affix to me articles long cast away as junk and
ranging from cow bells to various
young ladies' garters. To top It all,
he goes so far as to print signs upon
me the very nature of which make
me an object of scorn to provoke mirth
among those who ogle as I pass—
that, my friends, is the deepest cut of
all. One sign across my right front,
stolen no doubt from some public
rest room, reads "LADIES," and on
the opposite door has been scrawled
"LEAP IN, LIMP OUT," as much as
to suggest that the parties I convey
do not ride in absolute safety and
comfort. Ah me! The day
none to soon when for the last time
I shall crash my noble self into a
nearby pole, from thence onward to
rest and rust In the peaceful confines
of some happy home for sundry and
THE COLLEGE FLIVVER
By Frances Foster
In the year 1900, there was born
Henry Ford's domicile, Detroit,
Mich., a maiden whose name was Henrietta Elizabeth Ford. Henrietta Elizabeth Ford was a beautiful child. Her
complexion was as smooth as satin
her features were perfect. But
time went on, as time will do, and
in about thirty years Henrietta Elizabeth Ford was no longer a beautiful,
No longer was she wanted. Men
shunned her. Women ridiculed her.
Her best friend wouldn't tell her that
she was full of creaks.
Says Miss Ford, "My dear, I was r.
wreck. I mean, I really was. I mean,
I was weak and run down; 1 had no
pep, no vitality. Then, I read in the
paper that some college boys were
looking for some cbeap vehicle to
push around the football field.
"To make a long story short, I went
to the home of a great orator, Roy
Hoffheinz, and asked him if there waa
an opening for me. He talked about
two hours and I gathered that he
meant if the team pulled for me and I
for the team, I would get the place.
"How thrilled I was. Mr. James
Bute gave me eighty samples of paint
and Mr. Kress gave me four umbrel-
1 made a dress of the paint and
carried the umbrellas. (By the way,
. Bute didn't give me any red
pink paint. This reddish and pinkish tint is due to a permanent blush
hich I received this summer when
four young men clad in pajamas
ve me all over town.)
Anyway, here I am today. A popular youngster again. After all it isn't
the chassis, it's the paint that makes
Expressing these fine statements of
hope for the woman of thirty, Henrietta Elizabeth Ford swayed down
the avenue to the tune of "Yo-Yo-
Yolng All Day Long."
bard-boiled old duf-
They flew over their own fair land,
They flew with greatest care;
O' cautious were these pilots three,
For their voyage to prepare.
At last, when plans and plane were
And the pilots so gaily clad.
They bade farewell to the Fatherland
The next ■
Until I had learned all his ways.
Then he got mild, an' sweet as a
An' never said nothin' hut praise.
An' because Iworked hard and steady
He helped me get in the swim;
Showed me the way to promotion and
An' I learned about bosses from
So I've taken my jobs where I've
The punk ones along with the best;
An' the things that I've learned into
use I have turned
i' they've helped me along with
For the more that you know about
The easier It is to please one;
They are all kin, and under the skin
Each wants to be thought the big
Leaving their friends quite
Their wide country was a
Far from the deep blue sea
So they soared above the
O'er many a v iLe country.
: they reached the blue Atlan
Saw the land fast
They went fast toward the seeing
Undaunted by any fear.
They flew for hours through fog and
They flew both high and low-
Not once their courage true did fail,
They conquered every foe.
wide country they
THE COLLEGE FLIVVER
All over the campus, parked here and
Is the Old College Flivver, with never
That boats that are bigger and sweller
Are close on the curb, to this little
(More than the Usual to Kipling;
>e taken my jobs where I've found
I've drudged an' I've played in each
I've had my pick o' positions
An' three o' the lot was great fun.
One was a stockbroker's office;
One was a place in a bank;
An' one was a real estate company,
'Twas there that I found the most
Now I wan't a good judge o' bosses
When I first started out In the
For you never can tell till you've tried
An' then you're most likely not
There's times when you think that
you know 'em,
There's times when you're mighty
But the things that you learn trom
each one in turn
They'll help you a lot with the
The Song of the Zeppelin
In a Teuton country far over the sea
Lived an aged captain bold;
This sire conceived a great idea—
The story has often been told.
With eager heart and ready hand
He watched by day and hour.
The construction of the good Graf
A plane of greatest power.
The construction of the great Graf
Was wrought with every care;
For it was the heart's desire of the
That it over the world should fare.
At last the workman's deed was done
And in that far off land,
Stood the Zeppelin, gigantic plane!
Looking so large and grand.
O'er many a
O'er many a land and clime.
They saw grand sights most v
In a few swift moments' time.
At last the momentous flight
In the homeland they came down
Great perils they had met and faced
Eternal fame they had found.
—Mary Louise Pearce.
present head of the household, which
includes Gran, a formidable old lady
of 99, two uncles, an aunt, an elder
sister, and four half-brothers, 'they
are an alfectlonaie. warring group ot
personalities from the old lady down
to Wakefield, the youngest, aged nine.
Two of tiie boys marry and bring
their wives home. The coming of the
second b,!le. an American, ailects
each one uf the clan for happiness or
pain; and onver.Dly, for Alayue, th.3
months at Jains, are crowded with
sharp expv.'i -nces of bitterness or delight and wnen she goes, the problem
of her love for Ronnie and his for her
only par'.'ally ;-oived
It is a portrayal of a dozen hardy
egotists nagging, fighting, adoring
each other. They are extremely live
characters and very amusing ones.
They are not effective individually or
even as a group of individuals, but as
It is a beautiful and engrossing
tory, and singularly rich in background. The faults are those of generosity: too much material, too many
characters, and an enioarrassment of
■aptain chose compan-
Then the stern
Of his countrymen bold and free;
Tgoether these three so carefully
To fly forth over the sta.
They tested the plane in many, many
For a flaw in any nook;
0, cautious were these pilots three,
E're their great flight they took.
Use of our best friends,
books, will make a
MRS. H. H. SHEARER.
SOME BOOK REVIEWS
"JALNA," By MAZO DE LA ROCHE
"Jalna," by Mazo de la Reche is
the book that won the 510,000 prize
in the Atlantic Monthly contest for
the most interesting novel. Prize-winning novels are usually insipid nd
painfully new In style. "Jalna" comes
as a surprise for it is unique and
Jalna is the family home of the
Whiteoaks. Gathered under its roof
are representatives of each generation
from the time the grandparents drifted to Canada, via England, from India, and there built their homestead
on a lavish scale. Rennie, 37, is
The Capitol News Stand
1102 Capitol Ave.
Charles Pangarakis, Owner
2215 WEST DALLAS
I first went to
nplex, we blame its ef-
nlsfits and a lot of the
t wreck that got that
For a lot of i
But she is i
By a happier route that was reckless
Her poise is superb, when she's parked
in the back
Of a Packard or front of a big Cadil-
She knows that it takes her, the goods
And she's ahTiply not bothered, the
Old College Flivver.
She knows she hasn't missed making
Sho knows her coat lays Josephs' coat
In the shade.
And if what you need is to wake up
vork for a lawyer,
and black-eyed and
He had quite a way with the ladies
An' thought he could capture 'em
I kne-.v I'd be leavin' there shortly.
For I don't like that Rind of film,
But I counted it valuable practice
For I learned about bosses from
An' then was a high-hatted banker,
Who officed from ten until one.
But the work that he gave me the
while he was there
Kept me busy till set of the sun.
He thought that no people were
Unless they were rich, old and
So I gave up the place—he was off
o' his base,
But L learned about bosses from
An' one had just come from the country;
Thought he was tha chief man in
Compliments of the
TEXAS BLUE PRINT &
1013 Capitol Ave.
Between Fannin and Main
Phone Preston 4907 and 4908
American Shoe Shop
Geo. Wilkes, Prop.
THE LATEST MAGAZINES
Phone Preston 5931
1120 Capitol Ave.
WOOD & PURDY
SPORTING GOODS COMPANY
Athletic Outfitters :: Felt Emblems and Penants Made to Order
Hunting and Fishing Supplies
1317 Capitol Avenue
Phone Capitol 2613
POST OFFICE PHARMACY
1124 Capitol Avenue
Phones: Fairfax 1480-3820-67S3
Light Lunches —- Special Toasted Sandwiches
Chili and Tamales
Prompt, Efficient Service to Students
Naturally Houston Turns to Munn's lor Christmas Gilts
.... The Store with the Christmas Spirit