H. 3. C. SPORTS
Since the Junior College is sponsoring all forms of spring sports, we are
all represented in the sporting realm.
Although baseball, track, tennis, and
golf have proved to be too streneous
for our athletes, they are rapidly finding their stride at tiddly-winks, horse
shoe pitching, and "you chase me
We have been asked to announce
that anyone wishing to try out for
these teams is requested to report to
Archie French in the gym at tea time.
• * *
It seems to have become a fad
among the sporting element of this
institution to come to school attired in
the so-called "riding apparel." We
have a sneaking hunch that their idea
in wearing these "hoss clothes" is to
let everyone know that they are
possesed with the rare art of horsemanship. Or it may be that their plan
is to wear boots in order to display
their shapely legs to the feminine sex.
We offer these style plates several
of those little noises that so closely resemble a duck call.
The Houston Junior College for negroes has several bright football prospects out for spring training. There is
an interesting list of nicknames given
these stars by their team-mates. Some
of these names include "Black Comet,"
"Dusky Flash," "Whitey," "High Stepper," "Red DeviL" and several others
which we can't recall.
The writer suggests a fund for providing the faculty with sporting equipment several weeks ago. Contributions have failed to come in as fast
Let us again say that this fund will
be used solely for the benefit of the
overworked instructors of our school.
We are sure that everyone is aware of
the fact that our teachers deserve some
sort of recreation to break the monotony of dishing out "Fs" in wholesale
Let's all rally 'round our maestros
and send in those contributions!
While we're on the subject of the
lighter sports, news just came crashing into the editorial sanctum that Carl
La Firney has been matched with
Strangler Lewis for the world's
(Continued from Page 3)
hurriedly, but was caught in the act
by a lovely lady, who carried me captive in a glass jar. I shall be used,
she says to clean floors or clothes. At
any rate, I shall be useful before I
expire. I am proud to know that I
am part of the most vital commodity
on earth and shall die happy, because
the world will be busier, cleaner,
faster, and, may be happier, for my
having lived in it. Moral: It is better
to have suffered and served than never
to have served at all.
THE COUGAR'S CAVE
The Bat, the publication of the Paris
Junior College, is a good little paper,
with lots of humor to make it more
interesting. It is a small but neatly
Again we hear from The Pacific
Star, published by the Mount Angel
College at St. Benedict, Oregon. The
paper this issue contains many interesting write-ups of school activities,
and a picture of their attractive new
monastery. Some good humor and lots
of it in this paper. We like that.
A paper decidedly different is The
Pilot, published by the Port Arthur
High School student Each feature
section is named according or in connection with the name of the paper.
The Port Hole has lots of humor. State
rooms evidently belongs to the club
columns, something different from
their Club Room. Unique idea, and
Whether a special edition or not, we
liked the April 9 Forty-Niner that we
received. Quite humorous. Although
none of the names in any of the write-
ups were familiar, we enjoyed them
The Apache Pow-Wow is published
by the students of the Tyler Junior
College. Judging by headlines, they
have been having elections in their
clubs, and pledging in the fraternities
and sororities. Nice paper. We like it
Jack and Jill went up the hill
To fetch a pail of water.
Jack came down with a broken crown,
And Jill came down with her father.
Traveler: "Ah! a tennis game, I presume?"
Servant: "No. It's not a tennis game,
and you better get the 'ell away from
Doc- "This wine, women, and song
racket is killing you."
"Red" D.: "All right. I'll never sing
again as long as I live."
Fellow (holding one-half of one pair
of twins); "You say their names are
Al Smith and Herbert Hoover?'
Proud Mama: "Yep."
Fellow: "Well—er, guess this one
must be Al."
Mr. Harris: "We're getting up a
raffle for a poor old man. Won't you
buy a ticket?"
Portia G. "Mercy, No! What would
I do with him if I won him?"
Mr. Pearson: "My daughter sprang
from a line of Peers."
Doc Adison: "Well, I jumped off a
dock once myself."
WHERE THEY ORIGINATED
You can't keep a good man down.—
The bigger they are the harder they
So this is Paris.—Helen of Troy.
I don't know where I'm going but
ti on my way.—Columbus.
Keep the home fires burning.—Nero.
I love the ladies.—Solomon.
The first hundred years are the hardest .—Methusl a.
Keep your shirt on.—Queen Elizabeth
to Sir Walter Raleigh.
Step on it, kid.—Sir Walter to her.
Thomsen: I have a cold or something in my head.
Moffitt: Undoubtedly a cold.
'Doc' Addison: I don't like these
pictures. They don't do me justice.
Photographer: Justice? What you
want is mercy.
One block East of Junior College
"Let's Get Acquainted"
Holman and LaBranch H. 8194
Mr. Henderson (waxing philosophical): "A man is but a worm in the;
dust—he comes along, wiggles about
awhile, and then, finally, some chicken
Now that football and baseball are
over, golf has siezed the athletes of
H. J. C. Even our coach has the bug.
Last week we were pleased to see Mr.
French out at Herman Park in a
teachers' tournament. The event lasted
from 7 until 11 a.m. Some stayed
longer, however. Mr. French couldn't
find his ball until 4 o'clock.
C. H. Albert reports that hereafter
he will never play golf with George
Perry. "It's all right to tee your ball
up on the fairway I suppose," said
Albert, "but he went too far when he
teed them up on the putting-greens."
N. C. Jensen tells us that he once
saw Bobby Jones play in Florida.
"Bobby is sure good," said Jensen. All
of which goes to show how educational
O. D. Brown, who operated a downtown roof minaturo golf course last
summer, says that his place was often
visited at night by chorus girls from
the nearby theatres. Although they
went up there to make "short putts,"
O. D. says they frequently took "long
Arthur Sweitzer claims that when he
drives, his greatest hazard is the tee-
Caddies tell us that in the ditch out
at Camp Logan Ferd Geyer always
uses his "hand mashie."
"When I drive," Carleton Thompson
was saying, "I tee the ball off my left
toe, place my feet wide apart, make a
complete pivot and full swing, at the
top of which, I cock my wrist, and then
I come through with all my force!"
"And then?" asked Vincent Artale.
"Well, I cuss my caddie out for talking and making me top the ball."
Last Sunday Professor Miller played
his usual game except he threw away
his niblic rather than his mid-iron.
They tell us a popular golfer of J.
C. plays with a hole in his right pants
pocket. After making his shot he walks
over to the most advantageous spot,
drops a ball through the hole in his
pocket, and allows it to roll out on
the turf. Then he yells, "Hey, looky
where I found my ball!" Pretty good
idea, eh? Kinda' hard on girl players,
Next month the Freshman-Sophomore tournament will be staged. All
bids for adding machine contracts must
be in N. K. Dupre's office by
PHIL 0. SOPHIE
By Kenneth Phillips
Speakin' uv an arrer he shot, an' a
song he sung, Mr. Longfellow rote
"Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow still unbroke;
And the song, .from the beginning to
I found again in the heart of ai
It's a purty good thing he didn't fin'
the arrer in the hart uv his frien',
insted uv in the oak, wher it belonged.
Knites uv the H. J. C, here's a tip:
". . , Straightway I was 'ware,
So weeping, how a mystic Shape did1
Behind me, and drew me backward
by the hair;
And a voice said in mastery while
'Guess now who holds thee?' —
'Death'. I said. But there,
The silver answer rang: 'Not Death,
Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrot
thet. She mustuv been talkin' about
her husban', Robert. I hope so, enny-
Fred Collins is alius spoutin' off
about an old favorit thet comes from
"Locksley Hall" by Tennyson, the
ninteenth an' twentieth lines, in case
you wanta look it up for further ideas:
"In the spring a livelier iris changes
on the burnished dove;
In the spring a young man's fancy
lightly turns to thoughts of love."
Now don't you fellers all run to th'
library wantin' a copy uv Tennyson's
pomes—sortuv take it easy like. Spring
aint over yet by a long shot.
Speakin' uv a young man's fancy,
le's talk about Miss Sally Pritchens
fer awhile. My rivel is still out uv
toun. Her an' me are goin' on a nice,
little bay party som uv these fine
spring mornin's. I
"Were the whole realm of nature
That were a present far too small;
Love so amazing, so divine,
Demands my soul, my life, my all.
'.-1 Truly Reliume, Artistic
CAROLINE AT ANITA
John ■'- Boyle. President
Store Phones: Daiy, Lehigh (J900
Night, Had^y 331
Boyle & Penda^fis
Students: Remember Your Jflol
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1014 TEXAS AVENUE
-maybe it's plain old electricity Watts,
"Full many a gem of purest ray
The dark, unfathomed caves of
Full many a flower is born to blush
And waste its sweetness on the
I know who wrot thet. It wuz
Thomas Gray. Wal, I'm glad Miss Sally
ain't out on no desert. It's sortuv lik
this, you know:
"The inner side of every cloud
Is bright and shining;
Therefore let us turn our clouds
And always wear them inside out,
To show the lining."
My lining is kinduv worn, an' frayed
at the edges, an' my krees has sortuv
faded out, but its got to do for awhile,
Here's a good receipt for mixin' a \
cure for the bizness depreshun:
"Is thy cruse of comfort failing?
Rise and share it with another,
And through all the years of famine
It shall serve thee and ihy brother.
I don't know whut her last name
wuz—"Charles" sounds kinduv incom-
You folks ought to reed a book,
called "Your Money's Worth" by a
feller named Chase. I ought to read it, .
too. It tells all about how you get
gypped out uv your money, if you've
I guess Mr. Chase wuz a Scotchman,
so, mabe he still is. I don't think
ennybody but a Scotchman wood hev
hed sense enough to find out wher all «
his money wuz goin', an' then set down
an' rite a book abou it an' make a lot
Wat, ladies iui' gents an' otherwise,""
I think I've ritten enuf bull (sometimes knwn as fillosofie), an' I guess
I better close down fer the present..
Perhaps if I don't flunk out by the end
uv school, I'll kontribute a few more
ideas to science an' other such deep
stuff as thet.
So, as usual, So Long. —Phil.
Printing & Litho. Co.
Phone Preston 3848
1207-1211 CAPITOL AVENUE
(Opposite Post Office)
—The ideal place to select
those gifts dear to the heart
of every "Graduate" - - -
Lovely costume jewelry,
sheer chiffon hose, dainty
handkerchiefs or smart bags.
WOOD & PURDY
SPORTING GOODS COMPANY
Athletic Outfitters Felt Emblems and Pennants Made to Order
Hunting and Fishing Supplies
Phone Capitol 2613 1317 Capitol Avenue
POST OFFICE PHARMACY
1124 Capitol Avenue
Phones: Fairfax 1480-3820-6753
LIGHT LUNCHES —., SPECIAL TOASTED SANDWICHES
CHILI AND TAMALES
Prompt, Efficient Service to Students