Editor — James Julian
Associate Editor — C. W. Skipper
Assistant Editor L. P. Marshall
Managing Editor - A. Marks
Faculty Advisor - F. R. Birney
Exchange Editor Frances Nesmith
Humor Editor - Kitty Hurlock
News Editors —- John Hill, Jesse Darling
Feature Editors - Elmer Hamilton, Mary Esther Waggoner,
Literary Editor Evelyn Coffey
Business Manager - —- -Minnie Topek
Elizabeth King, Cortis Lawrence, Flossie White, Hope McCutcheon,
Tommie Cooksey, Jill Jenkins, Isabel McDaniel, Mrs. Ruby Brittion,
Max Cohen, Nell Wade, Bob Stallings, Mary Elizabeth Horan, Ethel
Falk, Richard MacFee.
THAT SOPH DANCE
Among the many things that we have to look forward to, none is
more important at the present time than the Sophomore Ball.
In the past, H. J. C. has been more or less notorious as a school
in which it has been hard to stage a dance and make it a success;
not hard to make them successful socially, but hard to make the financial end successful. There is no reason why this school should
not be able to support a few dances as do other colleges of its size.
We have just as live a student body as other schools, and the fact
that we are a night school should not put a restriction on our social
If we are going to attend dances, why not come to the ones sponsored by the school? We can have every bit as good time there as
we can elsewhere. The price of bids can be no legitimate objection
—depression or no depression.
A well-rounded education takes in the social as well as the intellectual side of life, and any live school should not stress either of
them to the exclusion of the other. Are we going to come out and
support the dance and have a good time and a live school, or are we
going to sit back and stagnate? It is up to us!
The Wednesday evening assembly hour during the present school
year has been both interesting and instructive. Chairman M. A.
Miller, Dean Dunre, Mrs. Bender and others, are to be congratulated
upon the high standard of entertainment so consistently maintained.
To have accomplished this was a difficult task, requiring much
time and thought; yet no single activity will more quickly place H.
J. C. within that ever-widening circle of institutions of higher learning, than a strong, well-functioning assembly committee, presenting
fresh, scintillating programs.
Most of the student body will regularly attend these affairs without coercion. This was amply proven to everyone's satisfaction last
semester. Local school talent has done much to securely cement
college loyalty. This talent is not only desirable but also available.
Some of the work presented has closely approached the professional,
in fact there are at least three radio luminaries, and other talent
in the offing, awaiting opportunity for development.
The well known little utterance which so closely resembles a duck
call isi due those would-be comics who are so witty that they are
unable to keep their clever remarks to themselves during the assembly periods.
Of course, almost everyone realizes that this group is just too
funny for words, but at the same time we believe that the student
body does not appreciate the true value of this bunch of comedians.
Do they not create laughter among their cronies when the program
becomes dull? Do they not amuse those about them with their wisecracks? In short, are they not always ready to add spice to the program with their ultra-modern humor? Again we say that these
clowns are invaluable assets to our school.
But the truth of the matter is that there are two well developed
pains in the neck at each assembly, and these so-called humorists
are both of them!
WERE YOU BORN IN MARCH?
(Written in a moment of delirium by an ostracized junky.)
March, like all other months, is a very bad month in which to get
married. Most people whose birthdays occur in this month were
born at a very early age, many of them being nothing more than
mere children. March is an exceptionally fine month to make up
with a girl, because Christmas is ten months off and Valentine's Day
The month of March was named after Mars, a Roman gigolo who
was sentenced to a chain gang by Nero because he kissed the Em-
MARCH 17 IS SET TO
BE DATE OF SOPH
Surprising features will distinguish
the Sophomore Prom on March 17, St.
Patrick's Day, from previous social
events of this season, according to
Donald Aitken, Sophomore class president.
Donald has appointed committees on
decorations, advertising and ejections,
as well as those semi-permanent committees which choose halls and orchestras. The surprising feature about
these appointments is that the exalted
personages so honored by committee
appointment as yet do not know their
One surprise that Donald expects to
be well received is that the admission
charge postively will be less than one
St. Patrick's Day so conveniently
coming on Friday, the Prom will probably be slightly Irish in nature. Unmentionable brawls and bickerings
being foreign to the nature of H. J
C. students although strickly Irish, are
absolutely impossible, according to college authorities.
Pressure is being applied from several sources to bring highly colored
plumage at the Prom. Unauthentf
cated as yet is the report that boys
and not feminine classmates are the
On March 8, one week from today,
Donald will unveil the profound depths
of his mind and expose several of
surprises, including the hall chosen for
committee members. A special meeting of the Sophomore Class will be
called for that purpose.
THE LOW DOWN
CLUB RAMONA OFFERS WELCOME TO H. J. C. STUDENTS
W. J. Green, manager of the Club
Ramona, invites the students of Junior College to spend an evening of
dancing and dining at his club. Ka-
mona is the only exclusive night club
Mart Britt's orchestra is playing a
limited engagement at this smart
rendezvous for pleasure seekers. A
i floor show is booked for every
Wednesday and Saturday night.
The club is open every night and
there is no cover charge.
Lewis Reuckert: "Do you pet?'
Bernice Blackshire: "Sure, animals."
Lewis: "Oke, I'll be the goat."
Warren A. Rees, instructor of mathematics in the Houston Junior College,
who was recently elected president of
(he Texas division of the Mathematical
Association of America.
—Courtesy Houston Post.
REES NAMED TO HEAD
TEXAS GROUP OF
Professor Warren A. Rees, instructor
of mathematics at Houston Junior College, was recently elected president of
the Texas section of the Mathematical
Association of America.
Professor Rees, vice president, during the preceding year, heads a group
of officers consisting of Dr. B. P-
Reinsch, of Southern Methodist University, vice president, and Dr. NatEd-
mundson, of the Texas Agriculture and
Mechanical College, secretary.
"The object of the organization,"
Rees said, "Is to further mathematical
interests, and is related to the improvements in teaching mathematics."
A standing committee on education
of college math is maintained, with one
member meeting with the representatives from the state department of
education to make recommendations
for the improvement of mathematical
Hey Le Roy! Just because love is
blind, it doesn't mean that every one
else is. We refer to the other day
when we saw you parked out in Riverside. Shamey on Melcher!
Jesse Darling has been seen going
places with Vandalia Mae (does she?)
Necco. Tut! Tut!
A committee for the investigation of
the source and nature of phone calls
received by Helen Gould should have
started work at once. The number of
:alls that this fair damsel receive* in
a single afternoon is almost beyond
Imagination. Find out when she's at
home and try calling Hadley 9445.
Wonder why Kitty Cat Norman slew
Tommy Cat Feeney? Maybe it was to
take up with Mountain Lion Mills.
Jack Brown will be 23 years old
I next month, but he won't tell us what
| date the glorious day will fall on.
Anne Owen says that we will know
when Jack has become famous—then
we can read about it in history. Just
like George Washington. George cut
down the cherry tree. Jack is studying
surgery—a regular cut up.
Girls when they went out to swim
Once dressed like Mother Hubbard;
Now they have a different whim;
They dress more like her cupboard.
There's Lillian Schwartz and Evelyn
Cochran listening to Israel Rabinowitz
telling his English jokes, and they
seem to be enjoying them. Evelyn says
he is her honey.
Harold Renfro aspires to be a poet.
He used to scan meters for the gas
company to give him practice. Somebody tell him the difference.
And another redskin bit the dust!
(Excerpt from a history book.) Who
would have ever thought that they had
spinach in these days.
Ed Smartt: "I have only a minute
Fred Aebi: "Good, tell me all you
Officer to Mr. Pulaski: (Who is
pacing sidewalk at 3 a. m.), "What are
you doing here?"
Mr. Pulaski: "I forgot my key, officer, and I'm waiting for my son, Edward Joseph, to come home and let
IT COULD HAPPEN
President Hoover was seated at his
desk in the White House. A tall, gaunt
stranger walked into the room. The
president looked up and glared at the
"Well, what do you want?"
"I just dropped in to see how you
are getting along. You see, I'm—"
"Oh, so you are the landlord. I've
been looking for you for four years.
The steam radiators in the gold room
haven't worked since we moved in,
and my, how we have suffered!"
"So you have suffered? Say, I used
to be in the army, and I nearly froze
to death. I didn't even have enough
to eat, and—"
"I know just how you feel. I am a
honorary member of the Salvation
Army, and I have to stand in drafts
and make speeches. And the food!
Say all of the caviar that Coolidgeleft
has spoiled. We have nearly starved."
fes," said the stranger, "but you
don't have men under you ready to
mutiny, and have to keep their morale
up with promises that you know you
"Mutinies?" asked the president,
"why the whole nation is ready to go
on a strike, and those Congressman!
I couldn't even get them to pass a bill
doubling their salaries, if I was in favor
"Yes, but you don't have to stand
on a battlefield and dodge shells."
"I don't, hey? Say, look at Roosevelt. If he steps outside, the chances
are that someone will be waiting with
a 16-inch naval gun pointed at the
door. And that is Roosevelt, a man
who has not even been in office. Look
at what I face."
"Yes," replied the stranger, "I admit you are in a tough spot, but every
time I made a speech, I waited in terror for fear that someone would boo."
"Ye Gods," came back the president,
"I haven't heard anything but boos for
two years. If somebody cheered I
"Yes, but you don't have to cut down
trees so that people can make a legend
of it," said the stranger.
"I don't? Say, I was to chop down
tree in Califronia for the opening of
press without a doctor's certificate. The Empress begged Mars to
plead insanity but he didn't have sense enough to do so. The first
day at court Mars renigged, the Empress redoubled, and Nero set
fire to the city. Mars was drafted into the volunteer fire department and save three acres of ground for the Emperor. He afterwards claimed that he saved four and a half acres and could have
saved the whole city if he had had his fireman's hat. So, Nero
named the windiest month in the year after him.
a new forest reserve. When I got
there, I found that they had selected
a giant Redwood tree. If I hadn't
thought to use dynamite, I would have
been chopping there yet"
Well, you don't have to break wild
horses so that the historians will have
something to write about, and you
don't have to throw a silver dollar
"No, replied the president, "but I
have to throw the bull every time I
make a speech, and besides, there is
not a dollar in the treasury, so how
can I throw one?"
"Well," said the stranger, getting
weaker, "you don't have people accuse
you of causing them to catch pneumonia while they were on a campaign
in the army."
"No but everybody says that I give
them a pain in the neck."
The stranger picked up his hat,
shook his head sadly, and started to
"Wait a minute," the president called to him, "who are you, and where
are you going?"
"I am George Washington," he replied, "and I am going back to sleep
for about a hundred years. This is no
place for me now."
Charlie Woods: "Ever hear the
story of eyes?"
Mesta Waggoner: "No."
Charlie: "Oh, you have too."