Greetings and Salutations Friends,
Listeners ... and Kibitzers! Pause a
moment and lend thine ear to another
bit of farce, frolic and tom foolery.
This is the fourteenth of these popular
broadcast under the direction of old
Adam Chatterbox, who hopes he has
stimulated more risibilities than
If anyone thinks being in San Pedro
away from the " Home port" has put
a damper on this Battle Wagon's crew
of Cut Ups, banish the thought and
listen carefully ... The Show is On!
May I present:
.. * * * * .. .. ..
Kite Kaper: An Officer of the
Deck, was calmly pacing the Well
Deck Wednesday afternoon, reflecting
on the dull routine of a
" Rope Yarn Sunday" in port. Nothing
of interest, little to do to make
the four hour watch pass quickly ...
That thought passed abruptly when he
suddenly noticed a large, brown paper
kite flying just above the ship, apparently
controlled from the Boat Deck.
" What the ... !" Amazed and a bit
vexed by this most unusual sight, he
sent the messenger to investigate
" on the double"! A few minutes later
he returned with Dietrich, who was
responsible for this unique. oliday
diversion. With sober mien and a
hint of gruffness the ODD asked,
" Why were you flying the kite 1"
Embarrassed almost to the point of
panic, the 4th Division lad answered
haltingly, " For ... For, recreation,
Sir." The young officer hesitated
briefly and with a wondering question
in his eyes he dismissed the kite
flying Seaman with a laconic, " Okeh"
... ADAM ADDS: I have often heard
sailors say, " If you want me, I'll be
topside flying a kite!", but I never
expected to see it.
THE BLUE BONNET
Sidelight: Joe West remarks,
" That's nothing, I'm older and I fly
kites from the roof of my house quite
often; why! when a youngster I even
tried to fly one while walking in my
sleep!" ( There's nothing to add to
* * • * • • .. *
All Fools Day: Many were the
pranks played on unsu pectinnocents
all thru the first day of April. The
most successful one was a phone call
by the " Quartermaster of the Watch"
informing Fireman Casey, of Number
Two " Firebox" that a lady from Alhambra
awaited his appearance on
the Well Deck. That gullible gentleman
was hard at it in the Fireroom,
standing a warm 4 to 8. Tho sweaty
and somewhat disheveled, he hit the
high spots on the way topside, only
to pull himself up short of the Quartermaster
when it quite suddenly
dawned ... Was he put out! Threats
of vengance dire for the trickster
came thick and fast! ... STAGE
WHISPER- the initials of the phoning
funstel' are C. H. M.
* * • .. .. .. .. *
Sweet Revenge: La t week " Sheriff"
Rimmer, played jailer to " Porky"
Rosenkrans and " Whitey" Harred,
( ye . the MM was keeping the aviator
company). The tables turned
this Tuesday tho, for aided by tricky
Gibson, fun- loving " Tiny" was himself
imprisoned in the starboard catapult
tower for half an hour before
liberty time ... He tried vainly to
climb out the port; Tiny's a hefty
guy and they don't build portholes
that large. Failing escape, he pleaded
with his vengeful captors for release
... " Not a chance!" As the minutes
flew the unwilling prisoner became
panic stricken. He yelled long
and loud: " Help! Help! Let me out
of here! Master at Arms- Officer of
the Deck! Captain! Somebody ...
YBODY!! I'm going to mi s - thatboat!"
The three tormenters insisted
this be given publicity as a warning
to wouldbe practical jokers, who- eventually.
g. et. it. in. th. e . nec.. k.
Raw Recruit: Gunney ergeant
Greenwood was transferred to San
Diego this week. This story didn't
come to light until after he had gone,
however, it is too good to keep.
Many years ago when he was a
brand- new " Leatherneck" he was
walking thru the Camp when he
passed an " Old- Timer" in dungarees
puttering around a lawn. Not knowing
who it was, he asked, " Been in
the Marines, long 1" The old gent
looked up and seeing another recruit,
answered with a twinkle in his eye,
" Yes, ' bout thirty years." Interested
now, " Gunny" queried, " What are
you, a Sergeant 1" The crisp reply
wa " 0" ... Not being satisfied, the
recruit insisted, " What then, a Corporal,
perhap 1 ... The response was
still the same " 0" ••. Disgusted,
Greenwood walked away growling,
" You must one hell of a soldier!"
The Gener. al .. on. ly. la. ug. he.. d....
Worst Be t Man: The Second Div;
sion's Lamb was all set to aid and
abet his friend " Stud" Nydegger, in
the trying business of marriage. He
failed mi el'ably tho because he
couldn't locate the address. He
searched but to no avail ... heartbroken
he proceeded to quench his
orrow with the bowl that " floweth,"
and thereby made bad matters worse
... The more he quaffed the sadder
he became, until he was a pitiful sight
indeed. Nydegger insi ts it was better
thus a he believes firmly that
the " Best Man" at any wedding is
the groom...... ....
Blue Ribbon Boner: The " A's"
blonde boy, " Legs" Harrison, arrived
in Long Beach late at night. It had
been a hectic evening in L. A. and the
~' oungster was a bit absent- minded.
He had gotten down to the last twobits,
but instead of catching a shore
boat there, he walked all the way to
San Pedro where he took passage for
the ship. And to think they shot
Lincoln ... ! !
* * * * * • * *
Golden Grain Club Goings On:
Long- time bachelor takes fatal leap
today! Shanks, o. 1 Evaptender,
finally forsakes the ranks of those
ivin singl ess- edm! s Join
Mi finnie Lee Bell, of Mineral
Splings, Arkansas, in wedlock. Standaiel',
who recently married, is to
as ist our Machinist' Mate by driving
him to Yuma, Arizona, early
Saturday, where they are to meet the
bride- to- be. " Sandgap" i also playing
the part of Groom's Man to the about-
to- be Benedict. Perhaps there is
truth in the old adage: " Misery loves
company." ... Seaman First Class, Lucas,
of the " F" has filed intentions to
wed. The lady is a Miss Emerson ...
" Wimpy" Wilkinson of the same Di-