There have been several veiled
threats, not so veiled at that, to the
effect that this writer of odds and
ends would be found among the missing
if he didn't cease getting the dope
and giving the public the truth. Inasmuch
as we cater to the public at
large, also prisoners at large, and
they demand the truth, the whole
truth and nothing but the truth, we
say piffle to the threats and continue
to satisfy. Artie Hand please note.
The following questions were handed
in and we shall do our best to
Q. When does the HOUSTON
arrive on the West Coast?
How long do we stay? Do we
go to Frisco? In so many
words what is our schedule?
A. Hal Hal You find out and let
us know, I got a gal out there
( Ed. Note:- See Schedule).
There have been some very definite
rumors to the effect that a certain
red headed baseball team captain is
going to take the matrimonial dive
if we ever return to Long Beach.
Don't tell anybody this, it's confidentiaL
Seems that Westerfield has
been lying again and that the fair
one is making a long hard trip from
Ii'l old New Yawk to the West. Did
Horace Greeley mention women too?
We have found out that " B" division
is blessed with an intelligence operator
and an absent minded professor.
Such a distinction for one division.
The intelligent P. O. has for his chief
of staff, operator No. 13. The professor
went into No. 4 uptake and believed
himself to be in the radio shack.
We heard a pretty fast one the other
THE BLUE BONNET
day about the respective merits of
our buglers. The conversation ran
something like this:
Tar. " Why man, that bugler of
the " N" division is so good that when
he sounds ' Pay Call' it sounds exactly
like a symphony orchestra playing
" The Rosary."
Marine. " Stop that line. When
that Gy!' ene wraps his lips round his
bugle and plays ' Mess Gear', I look
down at my beans and say ' Strawberries,
behave yourself, you're kicking
the whipped cream out of the
dish." Could it be so?
Dunn, PhMlc, went on leave in San
Diego not so long ago and in order
to make expenses he worked on the
graveyard shift for the Corpse Mining
Co., in the Coffin Mine, located in
Dead Man's Canyon in the Funeral
Range at the edge of Death Valley.
Dunn says that in the near future he
is going on a prospecting trip to the
Devil's Playground, in Hell's Half
Today we arrive in Houston, Texas,
where it will be remembered by the
old timers that a grand a glorious reception
is to be the lot of the U. S. S.
HOUSTO ITES. One gala time for
the next five days. It is expected that
many a resolution made with excellent
intentions will be cast aside and discarded
for the entertainments of the
' Fair and Warmer.' How many of
these " Rebel Gals" roped and hogtied
some HOUSTON sailors after the
last trip? Blacksmith, we are watching
you very closely and you too
I'll sign off and duck those hunting
for me. .....
The following named men were commended
by the Commanding Officer
at meritorious mast for their excellent,
zealous, efficient and soldier- like
performance of duty while assi~ ned
as personal orderlies to the Pre~ ldent
of the United States, Franklm D.
Roosevelt, during his cruise in the
U. S. S. HOUSTON from 1 July to 3
First Sergeant Albert T. Luck, Chief
Gunnery Sergeant Hylton S. Walshe,
Sergeant Oliver W. 0stmeyer,
Corporal Harold W. Webster
Corporal Norman A. Terpsten.
Not much news this week from aft.
With all this condition " Amuck" and
" Bustle" going on, not to mention a
distant relation by name of Condition
the Third and Section the Fourth, the
only way they'll come out of their
holes is for the mess cook to holler
" CHADON". Even Hogan's Alley
answers the call of the wild. Speaking
of Hogan's Alley, it's never been
the same since Johnnie Ketner and
Lipkie left. Used to have quite a
breeze- shooting contest going on in
the Alley with the old gang aboard.
It is rumored that our number one
policeman is going to be decorated
with a gold badge, the lesser lights
of his police force getting tin ones.
In case you leave it in the washroom
some evening, George, how much will
we be able to hock it for? Don't tell
us it's going to be fourteen carat
You've heard of such things as one
substance counteracting another. Well
we unbeknowingly put the equalizer
on Bandie last week. Quite a nice
write- up on him for his services to
His Majesty The King, and we had
to go and put him in our column and
jest about his violin " G" string. For
this injustice, our most humble regret
and pardon to Bandie.
No, Bandie, there have not as yet,
been demands for your services from
our last weeks advertisement, so you'll
have to continue making your guard
trips. Perhaps they didn't see our
little write- up. You know the story
about the S. O. B.
It has just come to light this week
that a certain personage was forcibly
ejected from the Hauf Brau by the
slack of his pants and for good
reason, too. Seems he went around
biting girls where they oughtn't be
bitten. Shrewd detective work on the
part of Hogan's Alley has failed to
disclose the culprit.
Next week after having conducted a
full power run in Houston, Texas, we
may be able to write up some good
dope for this column. If not, we may
be able to induce Mac to tell you
his experiences as a parachute jumper,
or mabe Tip on the subject of oratory
If you've never heard him say " Ladies
and Gentleman," you've missed something.
Too bad Shaw is not with us
or we'd hear a darned good fish story
or " Life on board a destroyer."