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Out of the Ozone
There certainly is a happy atmosphere
around the ship lately. Perhaps
we are going back to the West Coast?
Having just left Houston, Texas,
one hears many comments on the liberty
in that port. All I have been able
to hear is good reports. The only bad
reports are from a few single men
who said that they had to get early
liberty to stand a chance with the
Every new port adds to the married
men's list. A few who took the final
step are; Joe Balicki, James Brady,
-. Bickely and Slater. Congratulations.
Casanova Malcomb was in full
stride again; anothe::" port, another
broken heart. It is certainly nice to
be so handsome isn't it, Shaky?
For all the latest steps in jitttlrbugging,
see Rold. He was taking
lessons in dancing during our stay in
If you've heard this one before,
stop me. The lady visitor asking
Chubby Wade's pardon because he was
so tiny she couldn't see him when she
ran over him.
Some things are going to be hal' J
to explain when we get back to Long
Beach, aren't they Leo and Wes[ e~' field?
McClure has an idea that he looks
like Tyrone Power. It wouldn't have
been so bad if the girl hadn't kept
telling him how good- looking he wa3.
I wonder who the married man was
that beat Allred out.
Hearst didn't need the baseball
mask after all. He seemed to be in
very good hands during our stay in
The Houston baseball team played
a seven to seven tie with the Grand
Prize Brewery. The game was called
on account of darkness. It looks as if
t~ e ship should have a good baseball
teaP. 1 once they get in shape.
THE BLUE BON ET
If you were out to the barbecue it
wasn't Fred Astaire and Ginger R~?' ers
you saw, that was Johnny Esp"
and Smith, 2nd div. Oh, you jitterbug
Well friends? I'll be seeing you. Its
too bad you can't see me. But I can't
afford to hire bodyguards.
.... The Prowler
A Dentist's Nightmare
( Continued from PSlI'e 2.)
as though you are burning Up? Corns
hurt? Does your hair fall out? Get
chills? Have difficulty with breathing?"
( Now orderly enters)
Orderly: " May I have a welfare check
to pay a bill right away?"
Dr. Schlack: ( Drops all instruments
on deck and gets a bunch of books
from a rack. After pondering over
them for a minute answers) " I do
not know if the Welfare Treasurer
can give you a check or not for this
bill. Will have to take it up with the
Welfare Officer." ( Orderly departs. Dr.
Schlack goes back to the patient.)
Dr. Schlack: " Now what can I do for
you? The last case I had in here was
a rather bad one. Oh, you are still
the same patient. I'm afraid that I
will have to take an X- Ray. ( Takes
all the stuff out of patient's mouth
and gets things ready for the X- Ray.
When everything is ready finds the
X- Ray machine does not work.) Sorry,
the machine is not working but I
Lon't believe I will need the pi ture
anyway. ( Stuffs material back into
pat: ent's mouth.) Now then....... ( this
moment a hissing sound as though
something is blown. Dentist goes over
to investigate.) This is terrible, the
air compressor has just blown. ever
a dull moment! Corpsman, call the
Corpsman: ( Yells from the chair in
which he is sitting.) " Smith."
Smith: ( Enters carryng block and
tackle and a whole bunch of tools.
Yawns and in a deep voice:) " Hello,
Butch!" ( to dentist.)
Dr. Schlack: ( Answers) " Hello Cuddles.
Is something WTong? How have
you been? By the way, aren't you
supposed to be here for something?
Oh, yes." ( Takes Smith over to compressol'.
Smith begins to hammer on
ceck making a racket. Doctor gazes
tmith: " Have to get a first class
0: 1 this job."
Corpsman: ( Calls first class) " Hey
Curly." ( Bald- headed man enters
and goes over to Smith and the hammer
on deck. Patient is moaning in
Dr. Schlack: " Don't you think we
should get some others to help you?"
Corpsman: ( Calls) " Hey, you shipfitters."
( A whole bunch enters office
and the noise becomes worse with the
hammering, etc. Patient is moaning.
Dr. Schlack now has difficulty getting
over to patient and tries to push his
way to the patient, jumping up and
dO', vn and yelling to patient)
Dr. Schlaclc " Be calm, this won't
take a minute." ( Finally the gang
comes over to the dentist and starts
Dr. Schlack: " You say i'; will have to
be repaired in the yard? Why that
will take months, I hope, and I will
have to close up the office. That's
fine." Gang leaves office.)
Dr. Schlack: " Now then."
( As Doctor is about to work on pat:
ent again, a sound of bottles banging
to~ ether comes over the loud speaker
and a female voice over the speaker
says) " General Quarters. Will all of
you who can find time please go to
your oottle stations? Follow the arrov/
s. That is all." ( Dentist buckles
on belt of tools, slings gas mask over
~; houlder, grabs damage control book
- all this very slowly- and is about to
leave the office when same female
voice says): " Secure from general
Dr. SChlack: " Now then, my man,
your case is a very serious one and
should be taken care of immediately.
All kinds of fatal things may occur
if this is not attended to at once. For
example, you may die of ingrown toenails,
cancer, tuberculosis, pneumonia,
typhod fever, drowning, broken neck,
or who knows, you might get shot or
stabbed. So you can readily see why
this should be taken care of without
( Female voice over the loud speaker)
" First boat for shore leaving immediately,"
Dr. chlack: ( Drops everything and
tells patient) " You will have to come
THE E D