(Saints Above cont'd)
softball field at all. They should be off
somewhere pursuing their assigned vocations,
I decided I'd better see what had happened
so I called for my assistant, Angel Rad-
clyffe Hall. "Angel Radclyffe, this is
Angel Elizabeth. Please bring me the vocational dust list on a group of women
called the Ducks. I'm in the scanning
room with Angel Saint Joan D'Arc.
In a few moments Angel Radclyffe
swooped in and rushed over to the scanner.
"Hey, the Ducks! They're some of my most
"You're just saying that because you
know that they've all read your book,"
snorted Angel Saint Joan.
"Well, at least it was better than
that piece of trash M3rk Twain wrote a-
bout you. I--"
"Never mind all that," I said. "Read
me the list Radclyffe. Are these women
supposed to be softball players? If they
are we certainly have gotten ahold of
some really defective athlete dust."
"Let's see, we've got a journalist,
movie director, writer, radical, school
teacher, salesperson, artist, mechanic,
linesperson, etc., etc. Nope, no pure
athlete dust and only- a few with any at
"Uh, the center fielder, the shortstop, and the coach." She took a quick
look at the screen. "And the coach isn't
playing, she's just screaming a lot.
Uh-oh, wait till God hears what she's
"Well, we've got to do something,"
yelled Angel Saint Joan. "If God sees
this she's going to be very angry and
you know what happens when God gets angry. I, for one, have no desire to spend
my next 10 celestial years trying to reform MCP's."
Unfortunately, the Angel Saint Joan
D'Arc was right again. God's idea of
punishment was to send wayward angels to
the lesser heaven where all the male
angelettes lived. We were supposed to
teach them the principles of feminism in
hopes of someday elevating them to greater heaven, but so far we'd had no success
so teaching the MCP's wasn't a task that
anyone volunteered for.
let me think."
"Hi Rad, I've
"or you. Let's
"Ich," said Radclyffe.
those angelettes smell
"Quite," I said.
At that moment the
bounded into the room,
been looking all over tor you. Let's go
"Really!" said the Angel Saint Joan
D'Arc, straightening her immaculate white
robe. "I would think you'd take more
care with your appearance Amelia. After
all, you're an angel now."
Amelia could care less and we all
knew it. She constantly rushed around
heaven, whistling, climbing trees, and
behaving in a very unangel-like manner.
Also, she always wore her favorite angel robe, an aviatrix suit, complete
Instead of arguing with Angel Saint
Joan, Amelia flashed her one of her famous smiles and turned to me. "What's
"Amelia, we've got a problem," and I
quickly explained about the Ducks.
11 say they've
s a 1ittle out of
like a Duck out of
Boy, someone sure
some clumsies in
"Let me see. Wow! I
got a problem. Are those
to be there? Ducks, huh?
them. They all play like
"Well, one of them is supposed to be
a scuba diver," said Radclyffe defensively.
"Then I'd say she'
her element. Kind of
water you might say.
slipped those boobies
their duck feed," laughed Amelia. And
v/e all joined in because it's difficult
to resist Amelia's good humor, especially
when she crinkles up her freckled nose
and gives you that big smile. (It is
said that even God has a special soft
spot in her heart for Amelia.) However,
we soon stopped laughing as another look
at the scanner showed us a very dejected
group of Ducks trudginq off the ball
"Looks like they lost that one,"
groaned Amelia. "Is there anything we
can do? How about letting me borrow a
little athlete dust? I think that I can
help them out."
"I don't know Amelia, it's against