Of The Houston Junior College
Houston, Texas Established 1928
Published semi-monthly during the
college year. Subscriptions, $1 per
year. Single copies, 10 cent*.
Managing Editor .. . ...A. Marks
News Editor L. P. Marshall
Assistant News Editors Lucy Tailey
Faculty Advisor F. R. Birney
Harry Phillips, Gladys Howard, James
Page, N. C. Jensen, Eugene Heard,
Margaret Macey, Wilma Lindsay, Wal-
Are You a Citizen?
Citizens of a nation, state or city are
usually those persons who are interested in the welfare of their civic
To be a good citizen, one must first
be eligible to exercise the right "to
vote. Before a resident of this state
and this city can vote, he must have
a poll tax.
If each person in Houston Junior
college who is of legal, voting age will
provide himself with a poll tax before
January 31, our institution will be well
represented at the polls during the
coming 12 months.
TJjj^^-ice for loyal citizenship is
$l.au. .„,11 you let $1.50 deprive YOU
of your rights as a citizen for the next
12 months, including as it does elections of every type, from local school
board to national president?
Buy your POLL TAX AT ONCE. It
is the mark of good citizenship, intelligent suffrage, and TRUE AMERICANISM!
WHAT I WANT
By MRS. HOWARD V*CK
"Free-heartedness, and graciousness,
and undisturbed trust, and re quitted
love, and the sight of peace of others,
and the ministry to their pain; these—
and the blue sky above and the sweet
waters and flowers beneath; and mysteries and presences innumerable,—of
living things, may yet be here my
riches, untormenting and divine; serviceable for the life that now is; nor it
may be, without promise of that which
is to come."—Ruskin.
Mother Knows Best!
February 1 is the beginning of a
new year for thousands of Houston
students whether they be in college
or public school. Failing and passing
grades in hundreds of courses will be
given, and undoubtedly deserved. Are
you of the failing or passing class?
Surely you students of the Houston
Junior college aren't guilty of having
adverse attitudes toward study. Enrollment in the Junor college actually
signifies that you are in the quest of
learning, so why become opposed to
doing home study and research work
in excess of the regular course?
Work in the Houston Junior college
is not more difficult than that of any
other college, and possibly it is less
difficult. If you doubt the above
statement, look around you. If you
thing that Mr. Miner is piling outside
work on you in his history course,
have a talk with a student who takes
the same history course at Riee institute. He will have finished two books
where you are just completing one.
Nearly everything gained in modern
life is a result of the effort put forth.
"As ye sow, so shall ye reap."
Instructors in the Houston Junior
college have the interests of their
pupils at heart, so if you get slightly
peaved because you have to read 50
pages of outside reading in English,
history, math, or science class, just
remember that probably the instructor
knows best, and if you still have the
idea that he is wrong, see if Mr. Dupre
can't get YOU a job instructing.
Have a say in your government by
paying your poll tax now.
Be a real citijen and pay your poll
When I say that I want in life all
that every other individual receives, it
is a broad statement, and sounds like
a child asking Santa Claus for more
than his share of toys. But when you
come to analyze it, it is not much
after all. I want in life the
experiences others have; the san
-V. F. Harrison perielices that come to each student of
James Julian this college; the same experiences of
Mare Jane Fly my neighbors and friends. In a word,
Ruth Depperman T want to live. That is not much, is
-Wenonah Phelps it? To Iive? Irt what way? In a
simply way. Comforts and a few luxuries' are necessary to enjoyment, certainly, but they are insignificant compared to the real purpose of living.
They do not stand out prominently;
neither is a mere existence desirable.
Success, you say, is what I want in
life. True. The Business man, the
professional man, the minister, the
farmer, you, and I,—all want success.
But does success mean the same to
each of us? Does success mean the
to you that it does to me? Certainly not. Success has its peculiar
meaning to each individual, old and
young, rich and poor. Success, to the
business man, means financial gain;
success, to the professional man, means
achievement from honest effort; success, to the minister, means conversion
of souls; success, to the farmer, means
a plenteous crop; to you, it may mean
something else; to me, it is just living,—living in my own simple way,
being a natural human being, with the
same desires, likes, and dislikes, of
my neighbors, only in a different
Again, I want to have a knowledge
of my obligations and a capacity to
perform them; to be sensitive to the
responsibilities that surround me, and
establish my credit for good faith and
dependence. In this, I desire no proxy,
no substitute to take toll of my own
liberties. I wish to act freely of my
own volition, and to feel that it
right, not a debt I owe, realizing that
any benevolence is not praiseworthy-
I want to have a purpose, too; f<
there is nothing to my mind so tragic
as drifting aimlessly with the tide, at
the mercy of the waves, to be wrecked
and cast ashore. Then we become
driftwood. But the glamor of superfi
cial success, acquisition of wealth, an
other allurements tempt us to try to
do something that we are not fitted
to do; however, a close study of our
abilities, our training, and our aptitude, should teach us to select the
ship we shall be able to pilot; and
with this in mind, I should like to
embark and steer for a definite port.
I consider purpose one of the strongest
elements of character; part of our
makeup that we employ every day;
part of our lives—just part of living.
And then, I want to know enough
about the machinery of society and
its history to enable me to apply effectively what gifts I may have. I
want to have adequate skill in communication with others o; use language
discriminatingly, to be adequate of expression—to be clearly understood, and
to understand clearly. I want to be
able to measure up to the highest
without outmeasuring; to weigh without outweighing. Just to live as one
of the crowd, neither inferior nor outstanding.
The success I want in living, therefore, is not sussess from a religious
standpoint, although that is included.
It is not success in living, in a prudish
"better-than-thou" attitude; nor do I
desire to become a character such" as
the "man who lived by the side of the
road," although such character is included. While the "friend to man" is
worthy of our admiration, there is no
WALLACE (LEFTY) MINER
PITCHES NO-HIT GAME
ISSUES NO PASSES
The Four Horsemen of the> Pass
Eclipse, Demolition, Death, Destruction, and Dynamite, in the persons of
Hooker, Miner, Birney and Rees, disposed of the students in a little baseball game called tests or lowly, lowly
is thy grade.
The two factions have been battling
each other since last September, and
they will probably continue until Ji
Neither side seems to have gained
advantage but the headline said the
profs were ahead. That's hooey. The
reason the head hues said that was because it just fitted the space we allot
for heads. Ha ha. The work of some
of the outstanding performers is given
"Lefty" Miner, star pitcher for the
Professor Podunks, worked so easily
and nonchalantly that he appeared to
have a case of spring fever, and he
was so effective in his pop-qui es that
he had all the students guessing (oh
those puns, 1 guess I am punny that
The game was climaxed by a tete-a-
tete between H. Bellringer Renfro and
an opposing player. Renfro had his
wrist chastised but retaliated by saying "boo" (the old brute). His adversary re-acted by smashing a juicy egg-
custards in little Harold's face. Umpire
N. K. Dupre banished both antagonists
from the contest. Oh, yes, about the
custard—and as Ben Bernie would
say, 'we hoped you liked it, Harold'.
A. Marks, who by-the-way, is the
editor-in-chief of the Cougar, which
you know is the student publication
of the H. J. C, and is published sometimes weekly and always weakly, did
the same thing at the bat that Casey
did. He struck out. But Adolph M.
sure made his mark (trying to be
The schoolboys won the first rubber
when Chas. Buse claimed the score was
40-love and Roland Hall said it was
ovey dovey or some kind of ove.
Mrs. Ebaugh had a tough season-
she managed to flunk only 99 per cent
of her students. Of course this is not
ac many as she usually fails, but he
became generous and let that one per
cent slip by.
Murray A. Miller (hi, there, Murray)
was in such a batting slump he never
flunked anybody except his friends,,
relatives, strangers and acquaintances.)
One refreshing tint to the delectable j
series was that the highly touted tooted1
tutors took too long to wreck weak,;
wailing, whipped, whoois and the cry- '
ing, crazy, cash customers couldn't
STUMBLING STUDES— Pos.
Josephine Carraway 4th base
Florine Davis _ .water boy
Aimer Childers draw back
The BROADCASTER comes from
way off in Sisterville, West Virginia.
It is published by the Sistervile Junior
High School, and is a very original
little paper. It seems to have been
published for the prupose of raising
the morale of the student body.
JUNIOR COLLEGE DAME
CROWNED WITH RIPE
Hundreds of spectators applauded,
booed, cheered, hissed and jeered as
Maggy Squimp was awarded a prize
in a local Beauty Contest which was
sponsored by the El Stink-a-milo '
Tobacco Co. Maggy is well known
among the gas house social circle.
Maggy has a warty face, an elaphan-
tine body and legs like a piano, but
here is how she won the contest.
She waltzed out on the stage during the regular Wednesday nigh assembly and literally stole the prize.
W. Henson Lemmon well known playboy (and he too will drink root beer
without the beer) was introducing the
beauties. The first dame that was
presented was Vulga Alexander, who
was formerly the tatooed lady in a
circus. She took out her false teeth,
began clicking them together like a
pair of castinets and fell into the
strains of the Spanish Fandago.
Margaret Mangy was the next skirt
The JOHNSTON JUDGE, another (synonym for dame, frail, chicken, hen
junipnhig h school paper, is published or woman) to get presented to the
by the Press Club of Albert Sidney! audience. She went parading across
Johnston Junior High. This paper is J the stage ln a nighteown ab"t as grace-
running a clever""knowledge" test this! ful as the ^rythmical cow. The au-
month that might bring interesting re- \ dience hurled missiles. Miss Mangy
suits. The test contains 24 questions, [ saidl
all of which pertain to the source of "J have n0 objections to youse guys
Houston schools and to members of the \ chunkin tomatoes at me, but please
school board. We only wish there was ta^e 'em out of~the cal1"'
room to reprint the test in this column.
Another paper from far away is
PANTHER CUB, published by the
University of Pittsburg at Johnston
Center. From it we present you the
The college girl sat on the deck,
Eating something by the peck,
She says she doesn't pet or neck,
But that's a lotta hooie . . ■
The PURPLE PUP from Sidney Lanier is an excellent paper for a junior
"Do you always look under your
bed before you say your prayers?"
asked the flapper.
"No, darling," said the old maid, "I
always say my prayers first."
The PACIFIC STAR, a paper pub-
ished at Mount Angel College in St.
Benedict, Oregon, is devoted almost entirely to Catholic news. It carries little humor and very few "personals."
Smelda Smith was the next "beauty",
she went trapesing across the stage
but stumbled on hej_ feet. What-a-
Melbadelbabelba Right appeared on
the scene with a Putrified Screamo
in her mouth. She soon discarded this
in search of something exciting. We
suggest that she try kissing someone
with the hiccoughs.
The next girl that was introduced
was so ugly that she went around
haunting houses. Some people are
homely but she abused the privilege.
She was a blonde, she looked more
like a floor mop. She was as ugly as
I am (guess who I am. No, not Silas
Fry), so et's get back to the prize
Tom Podunk, the fun-loving podunk,
these is this. How many four foot, came dashing down the aisle on his
yardsticks would it take to measure' kiddie-car.
the length of Reuben Belch's foot] "A horse, a horse, my kingdom tor
within 3 or 6 little kilometres? Send! 8 norse" he was shouting,
your answers in to Aunt Lillian, out-' Donald Aitken (in the balcony and
side the editorial office, and we will | trving to he funny, "Will a jackass do?"
VOTE IN OUR CONTEST
After viewing the simply over^
whelming number of ballots cast in
the beauty contest, the Cougar has decided to hold a series of elections over
the week end.
Elections are our secret passions,
just like a rabbit in a greyhound race.
We adore them. This year we want to
decide a number of things. First among
Ernest Cowart __ _..
Leo Pyle _ __ chauffeur
PROFESSOR PODUNKS- Pos.
N. K. Dupre b^
H. W. South._
W. H. Miner ...
A. W. French .
J. H. Ledlow
be glad to use them (to start a fire
in the stove.)
In the meantime, however, we are
asked to remind you of your awful
conduct in assemblies. .It has not been
as bad as usual, and Mrs. Binder is
worried. You are not upholding the
standard of the college. Yell louder
next Wednesday night.
Now we are having a leetle cuntest.
De votes dat we git will be posted an
the booletin bored in de frunt of
Morse Undertaking Parlor, so cast it
reel immediately. This is not a phono-
Heres de ballut.
Warren A. Rees .
Fred R. Birney
- left out
him with confidence to display strength
and find him qualified to do it. In
other words, his deeds were only deeds
of kindness; there was no manifestation of skill or ability. Such a life
would be onesided and incomplete.
And as I said in the beginning, I want
some of the success of the business
ister, the farmer, and the student I
want enough success in business to be
able to assist others; success enough
in profession to experience results;
success enough in religion to be a
Christian; success enough in farming
to know how it is done and see the
bloom of effort; success enough as a
student to obtain a good education—
to read, write, and think understand-
ingly concerning al subjects; success
enough in home to be happy and to
make others happy; and success enough
in society to be respected in my corn-
record that the world could call on 1 munity.
Put a check mark by your
favorite candidates name.
BEST NECKER (girls only may
Leon Green, the Hockerville
George (Sooky) Cleveland
MOST HOPELESS CASE
Rip (Rip) Harrison
George Adams LeFever Jr.
Send your ballot tp the editors.
Results will be announced
"Yes, Donald, come on down."
When the smoke cleared up Char-
maine Winterbottom had disguised
herself as Maggie Squimp, the mus-
tached lady, and grabbed Cy Shaw, the
judge, and kissed him. The shock shook
the putty off the window-panes. And
that, dear students, is how Maggie
(Double Ugly) Squimp was crowned
(with a blackjack) Queen of Beauty
•t the H. J. C, dear old H. J. C.
CALL TO ARMS!
Hark ye! Harke ye! Hark ye! students of Houston Junior College! More
talent is needed for the Dramatic club.
Two plays are to be put on "if the
proper talent can be obtained. The
Dramatic club is open to all students.
This means anyone who is carrying
three courses or more. One of these
Plays is to be sent to the All-State
meet. If you are interested and if you
are a loyal supporter of school activities
Please report to Mrs. Bender at once.
(Continued from page 1)
Ettafellarow and his daughter Lollypop, lived.
Guttaloltanerve w,s _, ,QVC „ith
Lollypop. too, but he was fat. Fat
made .11 the difference i„ ae worM
to a hungry tribe.
Something had to be done because
Cup.d had already shot his arrow into
the heart, of the poor sailor, Noah
Jonah Jones, and Lollypop
King Ettafellaraw resented and so
Guttalottanerve wa, rnade into stew.
The reader was Evelyn Ba,hara.
King Ettafellaraw .
L<*™°P Elizabeth Ruthven
Noah Jonah Jones Melbadel Wright
Guttalottanerve . Arthur Burns
Members of the tride were Lalage
Slay, Evelyn Cockran, Lillian Schwartz,
Carol Wildm.n, and Frances Bates.